Frustrated on lack of clear method

[MercenariesofMidgar]

Hello all, I really want to die (as well as most of you im sure) but the lack of clear method I feel like I can do has really made me even more depressed. Can't get SN, I could theoretically get a gun but realistically I know I wouldn't be able to.

So, I thought of hanging (or drowning) but I am clueless on where to find good places for either. Drowning feels more appealing to me, like as long as I have weights I don't have to worry about as many things going wrong... but I just checked really quickly to nearest lakes from me and they all look so populated...

I have a tree in my backyard but I feel like it'd be too easy to possibly see me and call the police. Same with a partial hanging in my closet. I also don't want to die at home and don't want to possibly traumatize my family seeing my corpse. Also I feel like too many things can go wrong with a partial... the worst would becoming unconscious and being woken up by someone in my house.

I'm willing to suffer during drowning if that means an eternity of peace. If I just knew where (；￣Д￣)
I am willing to try using pills but the laws in my state are strict and I feel like its just too much risk. would rather do something that I could go and do. I go to college so for a good 5 hours I'm to myself. Would appreciate any advice

 

[FuneralCry]

I really understand, it just feels so cruel how there isn't the option for me to just simply cease existing in peace and never suffer ever again, I suffer so much from how painless, guaranteed death with no risks of trying to die going wrong is denied for me, I just wish for peace from this existence as well, permanent peace from this existence has been all I've ever hoped for. But anyway I wish you the best.