Venting From searching love to selling it

[Drowning fish]

This is so long I'm sorry. I hesitated so much before posting this is the first time I ever talk about this part of my story but I need it off my chest. It's okay if you are disgusted with me afterwards but I'd prefer you avoid harsh words. This is also all over the place but yeah.

I was at this point in my life where I only knew the love of a mother whom at the time only loved the projection she had of myself. I craved a deeper kind of love, I wanted to be loved wholeheartedly for who I REALLY was.

I met this attractive person and had sex for the first time. I thought sex meant love and acceptance. But I realised they didn't love me, that didn't matter for too long because I had found out I had the ability to put whoever I wanted in my bed. So quickly, I was turning to one night stands as a mean to feel loved because only in sex did I feel accepted for who I was. Yet again, I was wrong they didn't love me, they barely even knew my name and they didn't even care about it. I was the dumb person who thought it meant they wanted to keep me and I was ready to cut my arm if they had asked me to because it felt good to have 3 seconds of someone holding you close and whispering that you're beautiful.

I was his third side girl, he even had sex with one of them while I was sleeping in his bedroom next to them. Yet I was so sure he loved me because once a month he bought me a 2$ coffee and talked to me while checking the stock market only so he could do me in between meetings.

Then I realised. It wasn't love if it hurt that much, right ? It wasn't love if they never called me back, or only booty called, didn't care when I was ill or whatever. Me who had been the smart girl, the nerd of the classroom, the supposedly "gifted" child, had been so blind and naive that I didn't realise I was meat for dogs. I needed revenge and I decided to fight fire with fire. That's when I started to treat them like objects, I wasn't looking for love anymore just for sex. I had what I called "hunting night" where I would go out and look for the cutest person around sometimes they weren't even that cute but I had an urgent need of being in control by "catching my prey" and earning a few empty compliments from them.

And I became an escort. In a high standing parlour. And I saw ugly and I was part of it. Married dads, engineers, sad lonely men, nice men, men who didn't respect my limits, etc. I quit this industry quickly. I wasn't the one in control anymore, they were. I don't regret selling my body, I regret looking for love in the wrong places and feeling empowered by the wrong things.

 

[Mm80]

This is so long I'm sorry. I hesitated so much before posting this is the first time I ever talk about this part of my story but I need it off my chest. It's okay if you are disgusted with me afterwards but I'd prefer you avoid harsh words. This is also all over the place but yeah.

I was at this point in my life where I only knew the love of a mother whom at the time only loved the projection she had of myself. I craved a deeper kind of love, I wanted to be loved wholeheartedly for who I REALLY was.

I met this attractive person and had sex for the first time. I thought sex meant love and acceptance. But I realised they didn't love me, that didn't matter for too long because I had found out I had the ability to put whoever I wanted in my bed. So quickly, I was turning to one night stands as a mean to feel loved because only in sex did I feel accepted for who I was. Yet again, I was wrong they didn't love me, they barely even knew my name and they didn't even care about it. I was the dumb person who thought it meant they wanted to keep me and I was ready to cut my arm if they had asked me to because it felt good to have 3 seconds of someone holding you close and whispering that you're beautiful.

I was his third side girl, he even had sex with one of them while I was sleeping in his bedroom next to them. Yet I was so sure he loved me because once a month he bought me a 2$ coffee and talked to me while checking the stock market only so he could do me in between meetings.

Then I realised. It wasn't love if it hurt that much, right ? It wasn't love if they never called me back, or only booty called, didn't care when I was ill or whatever. Me who had been the smart girl, the nerd of the classroom, the supposedly "gifted" child, had been so blind and naive that I didn't realise I was meat for dogs. I needed revenge and I decided to fight fire with fire. That's when I started to treat them like objects, I wasn't looking for love anymore just for sex. I had what I called "hunting night" where I would go out and look for the cutest person around sometimes they weren't even that cute but I had an urgent need of being in control by "catching my prey" and earning a few empty compliments from them.

And I became an escort. In a high standing parlour. And I saw ugly and I was part of it. Married dads, engineers, sad lonely men, nice men, men who didn't respect my limits, etc. I quit this industry quickly. I wasn't the one in control anymore, they were. I don't regret selling my body, I regret looking for love in the wrong places and feeling empowered by the wrong things.

Very honest post.
Nothing to say as i dont think you want feedback. Do you feeel better for sharing it ?

 

[TheQ22]

We have 2 brains, one that thinks and one that feels. One could be highly developed and the other not even turned on.

So you're highly smart in thinking, and have been highly mistreated in terms of feelings and understanding feelings.

That's not your fault. No judgment from me.

 

[Ren Elsie Jewelria]

Thank you for sharing your story.
I think that by your revenge you hurt yourself even more. I'm sorry if you feel offended by my comment, if that;s the case please let me know and I will delete my post. Please take care.

 

[Mm80]

We have 2 brains, one that thinks and one that feels. One could be highly developed and the other not even turned on.

So you're highly smart in thinking, and have been highly mistreated in terms of feelings and understanding feelings.

That's not your fault. No judgment from me.

Totally agree with this point. Emotional intelligence vs intellect.
Luckily for me ive never had either lol

 

[Deleted member 19654]

Thank you for sharing your story with us. Unfortunately our society likes to shame people for being sex workers but there's no judgement from me.

 

[TheQ22]

Totally agree with this point. Emotional intelligence vs intellect.
Luckily for me ive never had either lol

Well you are David Brent.

I'm going to make like a banana and split.

 

[Mm80]

Well you are David Brent.

I'm going to make like a banana and split.

Haha thats fucking brilliant.
Ive been david brent... and youve been the best !

 

[Ghost2211]

Thank you for sharing your story. A lot of us mistake people wanting to have sex with us for loving us. There's no shame in being an escort, and nothing you said is disgusting. One of the joys of being a girl.

 

[TheQ22]

Haha thats fucking brilliant.
Ive been david brent... and youve been the best !

I have to say that when I first saw that on tv, I found it so painfully excruciating I had to walk out the room until it had finished. I was so embarrassed for him, it was toe curlingly bad.

Love it!

 

[GoneGoneGone]

Thank you for sharing, you're a lovely woman

 

[Sinkinshyp]

This is so long I'm sorry. I hesitated so much before posting this is the first time I ever talk about this part of my story but I need it off my chest. It's okay if you are disgusted with me afterwards but I'd prefer you avoid harsh words. This is also all over the place but yeah.

I was at this point in my life where I only knew the love of a mother whom at the time only loved the projection she had of myself. I craved a deeper kind of love, I wanted to be loved wholeheartedly for who I REALLY was.

I met this attractive person and had sex for the first time. I thought sex meant love and acceptance. But I realised they didn't love me, that didn't matter for too long because I had found out I had the ability to put whoever I wanted in my bed. So quickly, I was turning to one night stands as a mean to feel loved because only in sex did I feel accepted for who I was. Yet again, I was wrong they didn't love me, they barely even knew my name and they didn't even care about it. I was the dumb person who thought it meant they wanted to keep me and I was ready to cut my arm if they had asked me to because it felt good to have 3 seconds of someone holding you close and whispering that you're beautiful.

I was his third side girl, he even had sex with one of them while I was sleeping in his bedroom next to them. Yet I was so sure he loved me because once a month he bought me a 2$ coffee and talked to me while checking the stock market only so he could do me in between meetings.

Then I realised. It wasn't love if it hurt that much, right ? It wasn't love if they never called me back, or only booty called, didn't care when I was ill or whatever. Me who had been the smart girl, the nerd of the classroom, the supposedly "gifted" child, had been so blind and naive that I didn't realise I was meat for dogs. I needed revenge and I decided to fight fire with fire. That's when I started to treat them like objects, I wasn't looking for love anymore just for sex. I had what I called "hunting night" where I would go out and look for the cutest person around sometimes they weren't even that cute but I had an urgent need of being in control by "catching my prey" and earning a few empty compliments from them.

And I became an escort. In a high standing parlour. And I saw ugly and I was part of it. Married dads, engineers, sad lonely men, nice men, men who didn't respect my limits, etc. I quit this industry quickly. I wasn't the one in control anymore, they were. I don't regret selling my body, I regret looking for love in the wrong places and feeling empowered by the wrong things.

You're very brave to share all that. I hope in some way you can feel better for sharing. Nothing disgusting about anything you said. I sort of wish in my younger years I could have been an escort or dancer at least I could have been paid for giving my body away.

I can relate somewhat. I've always been told how attractive I was. There were many times I was in a relationship and 1 or 2 guys were waiting on me to become single. In my younger years I slept around a lot- because I thought giving them sex they would love me. I had more live in relationships than I can try to remember some 2 months some longer. They always moved into my place. Most used me for a roof. I can't count how many told me I love you. They loved me when their need of me was being met-sex, a roof over their heads. 10 years ago my bf at the time and I broke up. I decided it was best I stay single. I think I finally at 38 yrs old figured out these guys say I love you and don't really mean it. In the last 10 years I did have 1 relationship. I met him 6 months before my son died. I broke it off 2 months after my son died for many reasons (like I was sick of supporting him) not just because I was totally devastated. We still talk here and there. He gave me false hope of rekindling our relationship about a yr ago because- he can't have a vehicle in his name due to dui's and I stupidly put his van in my name so he could work. He kept leading me on that he "cared" still "loved me" and than suddenly one day he was seeing someone, than a couple days later she was his girlfriend. Even when we went to DMV last month to get the van title he sat there telling me how he still loved me. Last week he put the van in his new girlfriends name. My revenge- I hope shes using him and takes his van. He trusted me because of my honesty and knew I would never do him dirty and steal the van regardless of what he did. He knew how fragile my mental state is since my son died 3 yrs ago and he purposely put himself back in my life a yr ago. Just because he had no one else he trusted to put the van in their name. I've allowed myself to be used by him for 3 1/2 years off and o now.

I hope one day you meet someone who truly does love you for YOU.

 

[TheQ22]

You're very brave to share all that. I hope in some way you can feel better for sharing. Nothing disgusting about anything you said. I sort of wish in my younger years I could have been an escort or dancer at least I could have been paid for giving my body away.

I can relate somewhat. I've always been told how attractive I was. There were many times I was in a relationship and 1 or 2 guys were waiting on me to become single. In my younger years I slept around a lot- because I thought giving them sex they would love me. I had more live in relationships than I can try to remember some 2 months some longer. They always moved into my place. Most used me for a roof. I can't count how many told me I love you. They loved me when their need of me was being met-sex, a roof over their heads. 10 years ago my bf at the time and I broke up. I decided it was best I stay single. I think I finally at 38 yrs old figured out these guys say I love you and don't really mean it. In the last 10 years I did have 1 relationship. I met him 6 months before my son died. I broke it off 2 months after my son died for many reasons (like I was sick of supporting him) not just because I was totally devastated. We still talk here and there. He gave me false hope of rekindling our relationship about a yr ago because- he can't have a vehicle in his name due to dui's and I stupidly put his van in my name so he could work. He kept leading me on that he "cared" still "loved me" and than suddenly one day he was seeing someone, than a couple days later she was his girlfriend. Even when we went to DMV last month to get the van title he sat there telling me how he still loved me. Last week he put the van in his new girlfriends name. My revenge- I hope shes using him and takes his van. He trusted me because of my honesty and knew I would never do him dirty and steal the van regardless of what he did. He knew how fragile my mental state is since my son died 3 yrs ago and he purposely put himself back in my life a yr ago. Just because he had no one else he trusted to put the van in their name. I've allowed myself to be used by him for 3 1/2 years off and o now.

I hope one day you meet someone who truly does love you for YOU.

My ex wife was stunningy beautiful, I always thought it was a blessing to be so good looking (me looking like a bulldog chewing a wasp), and she once told me she knew she could manipulate men with her looks.

But I wonder if maybe it becomes a curse? Like, you kind of lose yourself to your looks. Or something.

You get what I mean? Too drunk to put it in words.

 

[Drowning fish]

Thank you very much all of you for being so open minded. It was indeed very therapeutic to post it :)

Thank you for sharing your story.
I think that by your revenge you hurt yourself even more. I'm sorry if you feel offended by my comment, if that;s the case please let me know and I will delete my post. Please take care.

No, you aren't offending at all. I think it did both hurt me but also helped me grow in a way I can't find the words to explain.

You're very brave to share all that. I hope in some way you can feel better for sharing. Nothing disgusting about anything you said. I sort of wish in my younger years I could have been an escort or dancer at least I could have been paid for giving my body away.

I can relate somewhat. I've always been told how attractive I was. There were many times I was in a relationship and 1 or 2 guys were waiting on me to become single. In my younger years I slept around a lot- because I thought giving them sex they would love me. I had more live in relationships than I can try to remember some 2 months some longer. They always moved into my place. Most used me for a roof. I can't count how many told me I love you. They loved me when their need of me was being met-sex, a roof over their heads. 10 years ago my bf at the time and I broke up. I decided it was best I stay single. I think I finally at 38 yrs old figured out these guys say I love you and don't really mean it. In the last 10 years I did have 1 relationship. I met him 6 months before my son died. I broke it off 2 months after my son died for many reasons (like I was sick of supporting him) not just because I was totally devastated. We still talk here and there. He gave me false hope of rekindling our relationship about a yr ago because- he can't have a vehicle in his name due to dui's and I stupidly put his van in my name so he could work. He kept leading me on that he "cared" still "loved me" and than suddenly one day he was seeing someone, than a couple days later she was his girlfriend. Even when we went to DMV last month to get the van title he sat there telling me how he still loved me. Last week he put the van in his new girlfriends name. My revenge- I hope shes using him and takes his van. He trusted me because of my honesty and knew I would never do him dirty and steal the van regardless of what he did. He knew how fragile my mental state is since my son died 3 yrs ago and he purposely put himself back in my life a yr ago. Just because he had no one else he trusted to put the van in their name. I've allowed myself to be used by him for 3 1/2 years off and o now.

I hope one day you meet someone who truly does love you for YOU.

It's very disgusting of him to use your kindness and fragility for his own sake. I hope he leaves you alone, you don't deserve this.

My ex wife was stunningy beautiful, I always thought it was a blessing to be so good looking (me looking like a bulldog chewing a wasp), and she once told me she knew she could manipulate men with her looks.

But I wonder if maybe it becomes a curse? Like, you kind of lose yourself to your looks. Or something.

You get what I mean? Too drunk to put it in words.

I think it is, because people never try to dig what's under the surface. And when they find out you're actually emotionally messed up, they run as fast as they came.

 

[Sinkinshyp]

My ex wife was stunningy beautiful, I always thought it was a blessing to be so good looking (me looking like a bulldog chewing a wasp), and she once told me she knew she could manipulate men with her looks.

But I wonder if maybe it becomes a curse? Like, you kind of lose yourself to your looks. Or something.

You get what I mean? Too drunk to put it in words.

I never manipulated men, it would have been easy to do though. I treat people how I want to be treated. Having had so much abuse for the first almost 17 yrs of my life I didn't want to make anyone feel how I did by my abusers. It did make me an easy target to be used.

Being good looking is a curse. I didn't loose myself per se in my looks- my looks made it so I was sought after. I lost myself having sex with guys thinking they would love me for me. Instead they just used me for what they wanted.

 

[I'm exhausted]

Hi,
I think you are brave to share that. I have done things I'm not proud of because of my distorted thinking and I'll probably pay the price in the future but I need to accept that.

As for your story I don't think you are disgusting and this is why. First of all anyone who gets paid is a slave and selling their body to work. Secondly people hook up and have many one night stands and not have emotions involved. There are men who would pay for dinner and drinks to have sex and women who accept that. Some are mutual and some are forced. I know both. But if you really think about it is getting paid to do it any different from having your dinner paid for for sex? At least you get to use it however you want. I understand your thought process as I've had been assaulted and tried to empower myself by thinking the way you did. Don't feel ashamed about it. You did what you could with the knowledge you had at that time to give yourself the basic in living, love.

On a side note, I've had one night stands that I regret, I've had sex after a dinner was bought though I was attracted to him, I've had sex to pay back a debt because otherwise I'd be reported- I was 20 and I was young and naive. I really thought I could get arrested but I only realized what a manipulative jerk he was until much later. I've had many similar encounters with manipulators and even had guys pay to go on a date with me and sex was an option. Then there are men who thought they could touch whatever they wanted because they were entitled. One man who paid to take me on a lunch date touched my breast. Saying he thought I may like it and ultimately saying it was an accident. Which one is it?? And this was after I told him how my past dates went sour because of men like him then there is my ex roommate that I paid my rent to. He touched me while I was asleep. Like the other guy he said I might enjoy it, sure like I would know in my sleep and dictating how I'm supposed to feel? But he didn't even apologize. It was easier to forgive the guy who paid to take me on a lunch date. They both triggered my near death sexual assault (which ironically was a man I was dating and interested in and wouldn't have minded having sex with him after another date or two) but I justified the first guy because AT LEAST I got free lunch and he paid me to go on that lunch date. I agreed because I had just broken up with my ex that I really loved but because of my mental illnesses it ended, I lost my parents and I really had no one and missed being loved and wanted and desired. I figured if he is willing to pay me to go on a lunch date he must really be interested in me. No one wants to be lonely. It's really F-ed up but our brain is wired to protect us in any means possible. Unfortunately those means are based on what we know with what resources we have and That's why the younger you are with less experience to top with the shame and guilt placed on us for getting in this mess by family and/or society take up maladopted coping strategy. It's not your fault only of the ones who hurt and violate you. You did your best to shield that and protect yourself. I hope what I wrote made sense and helped the very least? You can free yourself by learning from this experience and hope you find a healthy love.

You are not alone. We are here for you.
What also sucks is when people say "oh it must be easy to be beautiful" no it's not. And in fact those experiences have made me feel worthless. But I'm not. I love animals and if they love me back then that's all I need.

 

[HadEnough1974]

This is so long I'm sorry. I hesitated so much before posting this is the first time I ever talk about this part of my story but I need it off my chest. It's okay if you are disgusted with me afterwards but I'd prefer you avoid harsh words. This is also all over the place but yeah.

I was at this point in my life where I only knew the love of a mother whom at the time only loved the projection she had of myself. I craved a deeper kind of love, I wanted to be loved wholeheartedly for who I REALLY was.

I met this attractive person and had sex for the first time. I thought sex meant love and acceptance. But I realised they didn't love me, that didn't matter for too long because I had found out I had the ability to put whoever I wanted in my bed. So quickly, I was turning to one night stands as a mean to feel loved because only in sex did I feel accepted for who I was. Yet again, I was wrong they didn't love me, they barely even knew my name and they didn't even care about it. I was the dumb person who thought it meant they wanted to keep me and I was ready to cut my arm if they had asked me to because it felt good to have 3 seconds of someone holding you close and whispering that you're beautiful.

I was his third side girl, he even had sex with one of them while I was sleeping in his bedroom next to them. Yet I was so sure he loved me because once a month he bought me a 2$ coffee and talked to me while checking the stock market only so he could do me in between meetings.

Then I realised. It wasn't love if it hurt that much, right ? It wasn't love if they never called me back, or only booty called, didn't care when I was ill or whatever. Me who had been the smart girl, the nerd of the classroom, the supposedly "gifted" child, had been so blind and naive that I didn't realise I was meat for dogs. I needed revenge and I decided to fight fire with fire. That's when I started to treat them like objects, I wasn't looking for love anymore just for sex. I had what I called "hunting night" where I would go out and look for the cutest person around sometimes they weren't even that cute but I had an urgent need of being in control by "catching my prey" and earning a few empty compliments from them.

And I became an escort. In a high standing parlour. And I saw ugly and I was part of it. Married dads, engineers, sad lonely men, nice men, men who didn't respect my limits, etc. I quit this industry quickly. I wasn't the one in control anymore, they were. I don't regret selling my body, I regret looking for love in the wrong places and feeling empowered by the wrong things.

I'm not judging you. I don't judge sex workers. What I'm about to reveal is very personal and true.

My grandmother was a sex worker, that's how my father was born. And because she was poor and uneducated, that's how she raised my father. I've seen pictures of my grandmother. She looked like a Hollywood actress from the 1940's. A very strong woman. I'm proud of her. And you have nothing to be ashamed of.

 

[timeisnigh]

your original post

really nice way to talk about your johns

signed,
a sad lonely autistic man who respected your limits

 

[Disappointered]

So let me get this straight...you're gifted AND hot? Lucky you.

Thanks for sharing. One of the most interesting posts I've ever read.

 

[AnotherBrick]

So let me get this straight...you're gifted AND hot? Lucky you.

Pain spares no one.

@timeisnigh I'm pretty confused by your comment. Do you mind elaborating?

 

[timeisnigh]

@timeisnigh I'm pretty confused by your comment. Do you mind elaborating?

Original post's last paragraph: "I saw ugly"

I pay for sex. I'm short and autistic. Don't call me ugly because I don't have other options.

 

[262653]

I hope one day you meet someone who truly does love you for YOU.

And what does that mean? Aren't people (or any animals, really) get together only because there's something they individually want? What would be the signs that would allow you to honestly say "yes, he/she loves me for me"? Is sex a necessary component for a "true" love?

 

[Drowning fish]

Hi,
I think you are brave to share that. I have done things I'm not proud of because of my distorted thinking and I'll probably pay the price in the future but I need to accept that.

As for your story I don't think you are disgusting and this is why. First of all anyone who gets paid is a slave and selling their body to work. Secondly people hook up and have many one night stands and not have emotions involved. There are men who would pay for dinner and drinks to have sex and women who accept that. Some are mutual and some are forced. I know both. But if you really think about it is getting paid to do it any different from having your dinner paid for for sex? At least you get to use it however you want. I understand your thought process as I've had been assaulted and tried to empower myself by thinking the way you did. Don't feel ashamed about it. You did what you could with the knowledge you had at that time to give yourself the basic in living, love.

On a side note, I've had one night stands that I regret, I've had sex after a dinner was bought though I was attracted to him, I've had sex to pay back a debt because otherwise I'd be reported- I was 20 and I was young and naive. I really thought I could get arrested but I only realized what a manipulative jerk he was until much later. I've had many similar encounters with manipulators and even had guys pay to go on a date with me and sex was an option. Then there are men who thought they could touch whatever they wanted because they were entitled. One man who paid to take me on a lunch date touched my breast. Saying he thought I may like it and ultimately saying it was an accident. Which one is it?? And this was after I told him how my past dates went sour because of men like him then there is my ex roommate that I paid my rent to. He touched me while I was asleep. Like the other guy he said I might enjoy it, sure like I would know in my sleep and dictating how I'm supposed to feel? But he didn't even apologize. It was easier to forgive the guy who paid to take me on a lunch date. They both triggered my near death sexual assault (which ironically was a man I was dating and interested in and wouldn't have minded having sex with him after another date or two) but I justified the first guy because AT LEAST I got free lunch and he paid me to go on that lunch date. I agreed because I had just broken up with my ex that I really loved but because of my mental illnesses it ended, I lost my parents and I really had no one and missed being loved and wanted and desired. I figured if he is willing to pay me to go on a lunch date he must really be interested in me. No one wants to be lonely. It's really F-ed up but our brain is wired to protect us in any means possible. Unfortunately those means are based on what we know with what resources we have and That's why the younger you are with less experience to top with the shame and guilt placed on us for getting in this mess by family and/or society take up maladopted coping strategy. It's not your fault only of the ones who hurt and violate you. You did your best to shield that and protect yourself. I hope what I wrote made sense and helped the very least? You can free yourself by learning from this experience and hope you find a healthy love.

You are not alone. We are here for you.
What also sucks is when people say "oh it must be easy to be beautiful" no it's not. And in fact those experiences have made me feel worthless. But I'm not. I love animals and if they love me back then that's all I need.

Thank you a lot for sharing your experience. I understand. I don't need anyone anymore as long as I have pets though it does hurt to be alone and to know nobody will ever understand you.

So let me get this straight...you're gifted AND hot? Lucky you.

Thanks for sharing. One of the most interesting posts I've ever read.

I'm so lucky I plan to CTB, crazy right !?

Original post's last paragraph: "I saw ugly"

I pay for sex. I'm short and autistic. Don't call me ugly because I don't have other options.

Hi, thank you for answering and sharing your discomfort. I was meaning it metaphorically not literally. I respect sex workers since I know what it means and I will always be on their side for the rest of my short life. I saw clients assault my colleagues and steal from them. That's ugly. And if you don't think assaulting someone who's doing their job is ugly then I don't know what else to tell you.
"I was part of it." = my intentions as a sex workers were soiled since I only wanted revenge, meaning I was ugly too.

 

[timeisnigh]

Hi, thank you for answering and sharing your discomfort. I was meaning it metaphorically not literally. I respect sex workers since I know what it means and I will always be on their side for the rest of my short life. I saw clients assault my colleagues and steal from them. That's ugly. And if you don't think assaulting someone who's doing their job is ugly then I don't know what else to tell you.
"I was part of it." = my intentions as a sex workers were soiled since I only wanted revenge, meaning I was ugly too.

I shouldn't have lashed out. I knew you meant it figuratively. I thought you meant the act of paying in itself was ugly: not the other bad things you listed now.

We're cool. Tomorrow looks more and more my date. I've made so many amends, no reason to ruffle any feathers.

 

[GoneGoneGone]

@I'm exhausted I'm really sorry about your assault :((

 

[BipolarGuy]

Title:
"Searching love to selling it"

Start of post:
"I only knew the love of a mother"


My brain:
"They tried to sell their mum!"


Still reading...

 

[262653]

So let me get this straight...you're gifted AND hot? Lucky you.

Now that you portrayed being hot as something more beneficial than harmful... I can't stop but trying to imagine the most extreme cases on both sides.

One one hand we have a person so beautiful everyone goes out of their (and other's) way to get the prize for themselves. Will probably end up locked up in a mansion of some rich dude, not even for servants to see, for they too can't resist the urge and will drop everything (and everyone) to have the prize, maybe, and as one of many precautions, the prize will be wrapped up like mummy, you know, like in some arab countries.

I can hardly imagine the polar opposite case. Would such shit be stoned to death by an angry mob? Shot on sight? Would it give heart attacks to everyone who dares to look at it, sort of like medusa eyes, except they don't even have to return the gaze? Would everyone cower in fear and have nightmares every night thereafter?

 

[I'm exhausted]

@I'm exhausted I'm really sorry about your assault :((

Thank you ❤

 

[Drowning fish]

Title:
"Searching love to selling it"

Start of post:
"I only knew the love of a mother"


My brain:
"They tried to sell their mum!"


Still reading...

Reverse human trafficking! :') I guess we're still yet to hear a child trafficking their parents.

 

[Disappointered]

Re polar opposite of extreme beauty : I'm thinking something along the lines of Elephant Man, social exclusion, no sex/romantic life, few to no friends, no work etc.

Now, if physical ugliness could produce some sort of inverse power, your ideas sound interesting.