From normal to messed up

[DarwinCharlie]

Anybody else on here experience a rapid transition from normal happiness/life circumstances to a medical condition where suicide is surely necessary to avoid a long life of nothingness?

 

[IfHeDiesHeDies]

Well, I was diagnosed with cancer exactly 2 years ago to the day last saturday and I have discontinued any further treatment. i planned to ctb last saturday but couldn't do it. what kind of condition do you have? i have zero quality of life and rely heavily on morphine to get by.

 

[DarwinCharlie]

damn, yeah i have an extremely severe dissociative disorder with constant panic attacks. was living incredible before all this :(

 

[Kogoruhn]

I developed a strange condition 4 years ago, from one day to another, that made me unable to function normally. I cant believe its 4 years already living like this, i hope 2018 is the final one.

 

[bigj75]

yes. Had a decent life full of potential then at 17 developed an eating disorder that destroyed everything in my life.

 

[QueenEtna]

I always have something medically wrong with me lol I don't think I've ever been normal.

 

[IfHeDiesHeDies]

damn, yeah i have an extremely severe dissociative disorder with constant panic attacks. was living incredible before all this :(

sorry to hear that, i was a general surgeon until about 1 week ago where i had to quit my job. I was living happily until the cancer, it took away everything, i mean everything.....

 

[DarwinCharlie]

geez thats rough. I was going to go into the medical field as well funny enough.

 

[DarwinCharlie]

what is your daily living like now?

 

[PatKat]

Anybody else on here experience a rapid transition from normal happiness/life circumstances to a medical condition where suicide is surely necessary to avoid a long life of nothingness?

I have been suicidal since I was 12 I am 33 now.

 

[DarwinCharlie]

I have been suicidal since I was 12 I am 33 now.

What's kept you goin all those years

 

[PatKat]

What's kept you goin all those years

I have attempted 2ce. I guess medication and therapy but I will be leaving soon.

 

[Steve]

Was prescribed benzos for a mere two weeks, entered a 6 month withdrawal syndrome. Many doctors and psychiatrist running loops around me. Post-withdrawal I'm left with brain damage in the form of severe tinnitus and limited sexual function. I can deal with the tinnitus but I definite can't live as a monk.

 

[DarwinCharlie]

Was prescribed benzos for a mere two weeks, entered a 6 month withdrawal syndrome. Many doctors and psychiatrist running loops around me. Post-withdrawal I'm left with brain damage in the form of severe tinnitus and limited sexual function. I can deal with the tinnitus but I definite can't live as a monk.

sorry to hear that, any other symptoms besides those two?

 

[bigj75]

Was prescribed benzos for a mere two weeks, entered a 6 month withdrawal syndrome. Many doctors and psychiatrist running loops around me. Post-withdrawal I'm left with brain damage in the form of severe tinnitus and limited sexual function. I can deal with the tinnitus but I definite can't live as a monk.

Alright these doctors are getting ridiculous. I can't believe shit like this happens.

 

[IfHeDiesHeDies]

what is your daily living like now?

i have taken care of all post mortem stuff. now just staying in my house high on morphine getting ready to die

 

[Shay]

sorry to hear that, i was a general surgeon until about 1 week ago where i had to quit my job. I was living happily until the cancer, it took away everything, i mean everything.....

I'm so sorry!

 

[RacilyDank]

Anybody else on here experience a rapid transition from normal happiness/life circumstances to a medical condition where suicide is surely necessary to avoid a long life of nothingness?

If you consider mental illness a medical condition, which it sounds like you do, then yes. It's ruined everything for me. What's worse is it goes away, I get my life back together and I'm happy, only for it to come back again with a vengeance.

 

[45ready2ctb]

2 cancers at the same time here. Though I'm considered in remission, the treatments and surgeries have impacted me mentally. Already suffered with anxiety & depression & aftermath ramped it up to an unbearable level. Every single time I cough or get a headache or something like that, I'm afraid of recurrence.

 

[RacilyDank]

2 cancers at the same time here. Though I'm considered in remission, the treatments and surgeries have impacted me mentally. Already suffered with anxiety & depression & aftermath ramped it up to an unbearable level.

I'm sorry to hear that. If I could take your cancers for you I would!

 

[45ready2ctb]

I'm sorry to hear that. If I could take your cancers for you I would!

That's really sweet. I wouldn't wish it on anyone- even my worst enemy. It changes everything...I feel like a completely different person. It's hurt my marriage, my overall outlook on life and just general enthusiasm for anything. I feel trapped in my own head. It's the worst sort of hell on earth.

 

[RacilyDank]

That's really sweet. I wouldn't wish it on anyone- even my worst enemy. It changes everything...I feel like a completely different person. It's hurt my marriage, my overall outlook on life and just general enthusiasm for anything. I feel trapped in my own head. It's the worst sort of hell on earth.

Well I haven't had cancer buy I feel the same way!

 

[DarwinCharlie]

Well I haven't had cancer buy I feel the same way!

hey dont know the full extent of the bipolar u suffer from but lithium doesnt work for you?

 

[RacilyDank]

hey dont know the full extent of the bipolar u suffer from but lithium doesnt work for you?

The extent is, if I am indeed bipolar (which seems likely), my highs are not that high (feel really good) but my lows are life destroying crippling.

I haven't tried lithium as I was only 'diagnosed' a few days ago. I'm reluctant to try anything with such severe side effects and horrendous withdrawal symptoms, especially as I'm pretty set on ctb!

 

[RacilyDank]

The extent is, if I am indeed bipolar (which seems likely), my highs are not that high (feel really good) but my lows are life destroying crippling.

I haven't tried lithium as I was only 'diagnosed' a few days ago. I'm reluctant to try anything with such severe side effects and horrendous withdrawal symptoms, especially as I'm pretty set on ctb!

Also, psych meds won't repair the trail of destruction it's left in its path

 

[DarwinCharlie]

Also, psych meds won't repair the trail of destruction it's left in its path

well if ur at ur wits end might as well try lithium it could stable everything out if u indeed have bipolar disorder

 

[DarwinCharlie]

obv im pro choice, but might as well try it out

 

[couldntthinkofaname]

i experienced chronic physically pain for several years. luckily it went away but the damage was already done. drugs, shitty grades, social isolation and various psychological problems were caused by this and are still present until today

 

[Jaded]

damn, yeah i have an extremely severe dissociative disorder with constant panic attacks. was living incredible before all this :(

Can I ask if you feel like the panic attacks and anxiety have caused the disassociation ?
I feel like that's the case the way with me and along with the self harm. It's a perfect storm which makes CTB seem like a dream solution.

 

[Wantingpeace]

hey dont know the full extent of the bipolar u suffer from but lithium doesnt work for you?

Natural lithium orotate also an option