Freaked out by partial hanging

[roatvek]

Still not too suicidal but not too happy to be alive. Previously I tried only placing the noose above adam's apple, but now i tried to place it below. And you know what? It seems to work better! I mean, just after 2 secs i started feeling not just struggle to breathe like when above, moreover i didn't feel it all, instead i felt strong pulse of carotid all over my body and something like white noise in my ears and my vision getting blurry. It's crazy how I'm so close to the painless (?) end. Don't know how to feel about it.