I have been saying that I wanna ctb for more than a decade. But I haven't done anything major. So I must be a fraud just leeching off of sympathy from my family.
You're not a fraud, It's incredibly common for people who are struggling with suicidal thoughts to feel conflicted about their feelings. The fact that you're still here doesn't mean you're just seeking sympathy—it means you're battling an internal struggle that is difficult and complex.
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