Venting For those seeing therapists - being upfront about ctb

[Are you lost too?]

Have you been upfront with your therapist about wanting to ctb?

I have been with mine. But it's like she says i really don't want to die. That I want my pain to stop. And this is exactly a thing that I do all the time, I act too rapidly without thinking throughout all the consequences and other options. Like I jump at the first thing I see that could work to get to what I want. And go full comando on it.
I've been seeing her for 1y7months, way before being so depressed.

I agree I act that way. I'm just not sure if it fits in this particular situation.
So I needed to vent and also see if
anyone has experience with this..

Next week I'm going to my psychiatrist and I'm not gonna be so upfront cause i don't want to end up on a mental hospital /clinic. But I'm gonna say I'm still sad af. But this also makes me nervous cause he's probably gonna increase my doses. I was talking to my cousin about this (she is really supporting me) and then said if he increases it then that's what you need. But if you're not in this situation you don't get it right? All those damn meds are addictive have horrible side effects and honestly I see no signs of feeling better. I've been taking them for only two months, I know it's a small time. So i should have patience . But this is not my strong suit, at all!!! Man I hate all this.

Ended up talking about more stuff rs but this is venting right .. and it makes me feel better just throwing it all out.

really want to ctb but I'm not sure I'm capable.

 

[TAW122]

I never had (when I used to see therapists/counselors) because I'd rather not take the risk of being misinterpreted and/or sectioned/locked up against my will for simply being upfront and honest. I can't afford to lose my freedom and end up with a large medical bill only because I don't like life...

 

[Are you lost too?]

I never had (when I used to see therapists/counselors) because I'd rather not take the risk of being misinterpreted and/or sectioned/locked up against my will for simply being upfront and honest. I can't afford to lose my freedom and end up with a large medical bill only because I don't like life...

Yep! I totally get what you mean.
Where I live it's not so harsh, the locked up part. But either way I'm not gonna be upfront to the psychiatrist cause he would suggest i start spending the days at the mental hospital, it's called "hospital day".

 

[Dwilson1217]

It's a toughine to cross , noone wants to be sectioned

 

[Are you lost too?]

It's a toughine to cross , noone wants to be sectioned

Yep. I crossed it lol. Not sure if the therapist doesn't really believe me. Like she thinks I don't really want to die.

but I'm not crossing with the psychiatrist cause I know for sure there would be some kind of consequence.

 

[MeltingHeart]

As a general rule & from what ive read & heard alot about & some personal experience too-it is pretty much acceptable to talk to a therapist, psychiatrist or GP about the fact that you have suicidal thoughts as a whole- at the end of the day that is what they are there for- and if you feel you cant be open with them-then you need to get someone else- the risk of being sectioned would occur if you openly said you had made a plan- had equipment, or ordered chemicals or whatver else-and/ or you were acting in a particularly worrying way- very manic or distressed for instance- in which case there would be a risk that they would try and section you-it is pretty much part of their job or rather 'duty of care' as they call it, if you present an immediate risk to yourself or others- possibly for some people being temp.hospitalised works- if you are very impulsive & those thoughts pass, and if you feel like you need/ or want to be 'saved'/ 'stopped' in those moments. However if you are behaving very normally & rationally and feel like you want to just discuss with yr GP or therapists general thoughts 'about' suicide-if you feel like it will help you- they wont do anything-you just need to a little bit wary of what you say & how you act at the time is all. In my opinion/ experience.

 

[Passersby]

Hi there,
Yes I have been upfront with my counselor/psychiatrist. I think it depends on how you present this to them. They will usually ask if I a, planning on doing it right now and I said no however this suffering is very real and I am very serious about it. I told them specifics too. I should also add that they are very poor counselors and psychiatrist. I don't even think that they take me seriously. The bottom line for my situation though is that there is nothing that they can do for me. I have stopped going. I haven't been for about 2-3 months now. Yes I think it is better to be upfront with them though because if you can't be honest with them then what the hell are we going for? Who do we talk to then? They might think I'm crazy because I also told them about euthanasia and how I was going to apply but that's not realistic probably because it will take too long and I don't have that much time left in me to suffer. We even talked about methods, Dr. Kevorkian etc. As far as being capable of ctb like you said I also agree it's very hard to overcome the si and go through with it. Once a person gets punched to the limit though and after x amount of years of suffering it should make it a little easier. Kind of like jumping off of the diving board when you were little. You might stand there and ponder it for a while but at some point you just do it and then there is no turning back.

 

[Are you lost too?]

Thanks everyone.

 

[metalchic_74]

I've been open and honest with my therapist. She asked if I had a plan. I always say No!!! Because if you have a plan they will have you admitted to psych hospital involuntary

 

[Astral316]

I told my therapist weeks ago that I had a plan to hang myself *but* it wasn't for a few months. He responded with such advanced tactics as scaring me with the "punishment in the afterlife" scenario and also guilt tripping me with the notion that I'll emotionally scar whoever finds my body. I skipped one of our appointments because our meetings had become back-and-forth arguments… that same day he got on the phone to my mental health team and told them of my plans. Ever since then I don't mention said plans and he doesn't ask... what a little prick.

 

[truthseeker]

It's probably the one thing I would never bring up. I'm not taking any chances on something coming of it that will make my existence even more difficult.

 

[erehbus]

Have you been upfront with your therapist about wanting to ctb?

I have been with mine. But it's like she says i really don't want to die. That I want my pain to stop. And this is exactly a thing that I do all the time, I act too rapidly without thinking throughout all the consequences and other options. Like I jump at the first thing I see that could work to get to what I want. And go full comando on it.
I've been seeing her for 1y7months, way before being so depressed.

I agree I act that way. I'm just not sure if it fits in this particular situation.
So I needed to vent and also see if
anyone has experience with this..

Next week I'm going to my psychiatrist and I'm not gonna be so upfront cause i don't want to end up on a mental hospital /clinic. But I'm gonna say I'm still sad af. But this also makes me nervous cause he's probably gonna increase my doses. I was talking to my cousin about this (she is really supporting me) and then said if he increases it then that's what you need. But if you're not in this situation you don't get it right? All those damn meds are addictive have horrible side effects and honestly I see no signs of feeling better. I've been taking them for only two months, I know it's a small time. So i should have patience . But this is not my strong suit, at all!!! Man I hate all this.

Ended up talking about more stuff rs but this is venting right .. and it makes me feel better just throwing it all out.

really want to ctb but I'm not sure I'm capable.

I've been upfront from the start, but downplayed how much. I slowly told both my therapist and my psychiatrist how much I wanted to ctb and they restricted my freedom accordingly (at first I did not really notice). A few weeks after I bought SN I told them (I was no longer thinking so much about CTB) and now I am feeling like a caged animal... Seriously thinking about ending it all tonight

 

[bigj75]

I wouldn't tell them. they will get your ass locked up.

 

[LonelyLight]

Well, I was honest with mine. Asked me do I know what I would do to kill myself, I said yes, he asked me what and I told him, asked me did I have the supplies and I said yes.. then pretty much said to phone him if I ever feel myself wanting to do it. No threats of being signed in anywhere which was great, however, I feel he was very "careless" on the subject? It was a okay I know your plans now let's move on kinda thing.. I seen him a few times after but haven't seen him since December 2018. Turned me off seeing another one. I took myself off my meds not long after. I thought I was better. Haha!!!

 

[MeltingHeart]

I wouldn't tell them. they will get your ass locked up.

They won't do that - if u say you have had suicidal thoughts - they WILL do that if u say you've got a packet of sn or a noose waiting at home etc. and that u have a really strong urge to kill yrself right now- that clearly would give immediate cause for concern& it would be literally part of their job to or let you walk out of there if u said that. And no one can blame them for trying to stop you in that case- cos if u said that to them - then maybe you do want someone to stop you- or u wouldn't be telling them that in the first place. Shit loads of people express suicidal ideation to the docs or therapy without getting locked up- just never ever say you have a "plan"if u want to avoid that.

Well, I was honest with mine. Asked me do I know what I would do to kill myself, I said yes, he asked me what and I told him, asked me did I have the supplies and I said yes.. then pretty much said to phone him if I ever feel myself wanting to do it. No threats of being signed in anywhere which was great, however, I feel he was very "careless" on the subject? It was a okay I know your plans now let's move on kinda thing.. I seen him a few times after but haven't seen him since December 2018. Turned me off seeing another one. I took myself off my meds not long after. I thought I was better. Haha!!!

Ok well I am surprised to hear this! Seeing as you said u had the supplies!! In that sense he was not doing his job properly if he didn't address what u had just told him. Bit crap to say the least.

 

[LonelyLight]

They won't do that - if u say you have had suicidal thoughts - they WILL do that if u say you've got a packet of sn or a noose waiting at home etc. and that u have a really strong urge to kill yrself right now- that clearly would give immediate cause for concern& it would be literally part of their job to or let you walk out of there if u said that. And no one can blame them for trying to stop you in that case- cos if u said that to them - then maybe you do want someone to stop you- or u wouldn't be telling them that in the first place. Shit loads of people express suicidal ideation to the docs or therapy without getting locked up- just never ever say you have a "plan"if u want to avoid that.

Ok well I am surprised to hear this! Seeing as you said u had the supplies!! In that sense he was not doing his job properly if he didn't address what u had just told him. Bit crap to say the least.

Yep I was surprised too thinking back, at the time it didn't feel like a big deal cause of how easygoing he took it. Told him I would hang myself, where I would do it from, what I would use, and that's the reply I got. Now i didn't say I was going to go home that night and do it. It began with him asking was I feeling suicidal, I said yes, and then proceeded to ask about the method etc and said about phoning him if I felt the impulse to do it.
Goes to show why the suicide rates in ireland are so high. If that's the answer everyone else is getting.