Discussion For the love of God, don't tell people your plan about CTB-ing, don't expect sympathy.

[LifeAfterDeath00]

I failed quite a lot of times, and it truly showed me the true colour of the people around me, please don't expect sympathy, and please don't fight with me that you don't want it. If you are the type of person who doesn't expect any sympathy good for you, this post isn't meant for you. It is human nature wanting to be loved, cared and appreciated for, and we want these things always to be reciprocated. A lot of us spend their whole lives trying to change people, and i think in general it reflects how much we can not change ourselves. People die for a multitude of reasons, and why someone died won't ever be revealed to us, unless that person explicitly mentions it. If you think, you can't control your emotions and you end up telling someone that you are going to commit suicide, bear in mind the consequences will be grave. If someone were to help or care for you, they would do it a long time ago, so if you think threatening them with suicide will work, it won't. You will just end up being the bad guy. People think those who commit suicide are losers, are cowards, are the worst. Just think about it for a second, this is a safe haven because most people understand that committing suicide takes up a lot of courage. People do change their minds. And people here get that, I also believe most of us here are pretty adamant, but due to our own internal conflicts and chaos we can't do it as soon as we want. Life simply isn't meant for all of us, and some of us would rather not be here. And it is okay.
But do remember, the people around you will not take your threats slightly and also some disgusting people will use it against you. Keep it a secret, keep it locked up.Everyone i have ever done the mistake of telling that i want to die, doesn't take me seriously, and some one even asked me while we were having a normal conversation, why am I a pussy for not doing it still.Imagine if you would want to be in my position, just imagine and then think. You wouldn't. Nobody would.
Just for the love of God, don't tell them about your plans, they will use it against you.

 

[VolatilePotato]

I totally get this. I dont plan on getting sympathy, and I feel this I a safe place for everyone dealing with it. I haven't told anyone besides people here for that reason.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Unfortunately you are correct in that people won't understand. I thought it would demonstrate how desperate I was and I'd get the help I needed with my medical issues. Instead all I got was several boxes of medication and told that what I thought and felt was wrong.
Now I keep my counsel to myself. Well, apart from you lot.

 

[faust]

It would be a mistake now to tell people about your plans. They have a pile of problems on lockdown apart from you and may not react as you are expecting.
Sympathy? I would not even bother many people irl with my own troubles because they don't know how to live further too.

 

[AcornUnderground]

I'm an open book and very direct. I've told too many people that I can't live like this. My sister, one of my best friends, had the police show up for a well check. I needed her to understand my wishes for when I'm gone, but she can't handle that. I assumed - with my physical condition- she would understand. I plowed through anyway and said my own version of goodbye to all of my 5 siblings. I'm even very fortunate to have a loved one that will be by my side - but even he waffles between supportive and then not understanding why I can't "try and make it work". In any case, the vast majority of people will never understand how I left my family or why it was completely necessary. I would give anything to be able to stay here.

 

[262653]

I did open up to my family. One person showed compassion and understanding, and even some practical help. Other one made it all about oneself, and threatened with psych ward. But I got out lucky, it could've gone way worse in other families, so I'm not in any way saying that if I got out better off, then everyone else will.

 

[a.n.kirillov]

I failed quite a lot of times, and it truly showed me the true colour of the people around me, please don't expect sympathy, and please don't fight with me that you don't want it. If you are the type of person who doesn't expect any sympathy good for you, this post isn't meant for you. It is human nature wanting to be loved, cared and appreciated for, and we want these things always to be reciprocated. A lot of us spend their whole lives trying to change people, and i think in general it reflects how much we can not change ourselves. People die for a multitude of reasons, and why someone died won't ever be revealed to us, unless that person explicitly mentions it. If you think, you can't control your emotions and you end up telling someone that you are going to commit suicide, bear in mind the consequences will be grave. If someone were to help or care for you, they would do it a long time ago, so if you think threatening them with suicide will work, it won't. You will just end up being the bad guy. People think those who commit suicide are losers, are cowards, are the worst. Just think about it for a second, this is a safe haven because most people understand that committing suicide takes up a lot of courage. People do change their minds. And people here get that, I also believe most of us here are pretty adamant, but due to our own internal conflicts and chaos we can't do it as soon as we want. Life simply isn't meant for all of us, and some of us would rather not be here. And it is okay.
But do remember, the people around you will not take your threats slightly and also some disgusting people will use it against you. Keep it a secret, keep it locked up.Everyone i have ever done the mistake of telling that i want to die, doesn't take me seriously, and some one even asked me while we were having a normal conversation, why am I a pussy for not doing it still.Imagine if you would want to be in my position, just imagine and then think. You wouldn't. Nobody would.
Just for the love of God, don't tell them about your plans, they will use it against you.

And this is why we need to push it forward and fight for it as a civil rights issue; so that one day there will be no "using it against" someone. It will be a blunt fact, stated just as people today state that they are gay—take it or leave it.

But I agree. In today's society it is better to keep your mouth shut in most instances.

 

[AcornUnderground]

Sympathy is definitely hard to come by. Even if someone knows and is supportive, sympathy is a whole other level. My loved one that I'm so fortunate to have with me for this - is not really sympathetic. In some ways it's harder to have him involved because he's angry at the same time. Angry at the loss and pain. I'm incredibly angry too. Hardly any of us want to die, we just want suffering to end.

 

[LifeAfterDeath00]

It would be a mistake now to tell people about your plans. They have a pile of problems on lockdown apart from you and may not react as you are expecting.
Sympathy? I would not even bother many people irl with my own troubles because they don't know how to live further too.

I expect too much, a flaw in my system, but learning that I have to go away because these "flaws" end up making me desperate and pathetic, I think suicide isn't the best option, but I can't move mountains where there will be no value at the end. I will try again, at one point, but this time I fucking hope my bipolar mind doesn't play tricks on me.

I did open up to my family. One person showed compassion and understanding, and even some practical help. Other one made it all about oneself, and threatened with psych ward. But I got out lucky, it could've gone way worse in other families, so I'm not in any way saying that if I got out better off, then everyone else will.

They said I am pathetic to my face, and all I said was how pathetic and miserable I already felt because I can't be "useful" for them, that they can't take pride in me. I am sorry for being who I am, I really am, I wish I changed, but I never do.

 

[faust]

@LifeAfterDeath00 You are not obliged to die if you don't want to. Remember, your mind will be tricky anyway, but the thing you can change is the attitude. If you want to recover, it is vital.

 

[_Minsk]

I failed quite a lot of times, and it truly showed me the true colour of the people around me, please don't expect sympathy, and please don't fight with me that you don't want it. If you are the type of person who doesn't expect any sympathy good for you, this post isn't meant for you. It is human nature wanting to be loved, cared and appreciated for, and we want these things always to be reciprocated. A lot of us spend their whole lives trying to change people, and i think in general it reflects how much we can not change ourselves. People die for a multitude of reasons, and why someone died won't ever be revealed to us, unless that person explicitly mentions it. If you think, you can't control your emotions and you end up telling someone that you are going to commit suicide, bear in mind the consequences will be grave. If someone were to help or care for you, they would do it a long time ago, so if you think threatening them with suicide will work, it won't. You will just end up being the bad guy. People think those who commit suicide are losers, are cowards, are the worst. Just think about it for a second, this is a safe haven because most people understand that committing suicide takes up a lot of courage. People do change their minds. And people here get that, I also believe most of us here are pretty adamant, but due to our own internal conflicts and chaos we can't do it as soon as we want. Life simply isn't meant for all of us, and some of us would rather not be here. And it is okay.
But do remember, the people around you will not take your threats slightly and also some disgusting people will use it against you. Keep it a secret, keep it locked up.Everyone i have ever done the mistake of telling that i want to die, doesn't take me seriously, and some one even asked me while we were having a normal conversation, why am I a pussy for not doing it still.Imagine if you would want to be in my position, just imagine and then think. You wouldn't. Nobody would.
Just for the love of God, don't tell them about your plans, they will use it against you.

totally agree with that, i hope this will help some of us not having to experience this too

 

[muffin222]

I haven't gotten a ton of sympathy either in the faraway past when I've confided in people about my death thoughts. Now, I keep my mouth shut for the most part, lest anyone get suspicious and start to keep an eye on me or search my room. I've never quite gotten the response I'd expect from people when I do open up, so I just leave it be for my own sake

 

[Una Nancy]

Yeah I was amazed by how much people don't care when you tell them you can't go on living a hopeless life. Some even blamed me for telling them.
And it angers me because I know these will be the same people who will say: "Oh but we didn't see anything coming..." once I leave this world

 

[mediocre]

In my experience it's a mistake to rely on family for advice or help when you're feeling suicidal. They just don't get it and want to involve the authorities in some way. I don't think they understand the dangers of this either. I honestly believe in my case my family would rather have me committed than me talk to them about feeling like I want to end my life.

 

[VolatilePotato]

In my experience it's a mistake to rely on family for advice or help when you're feeling suicidal. They just don't get it and want to involve the authorities in some way. I don't think they understand the dangers of this either. I honestly believe in my case my family would rather have me committed than me talk to them about feeling like I want to end my life.

I agree, both family and most friends. They will, in most cases, try to stop you. The thing is, if I am suffering, I have a right to make that choice. In the same way ss if I was on life support or suffering physically wanting to be put down or pull the plug, it transfers mentally as well. There is one person I've told so far that is like "I don't want you to do it and I'll miss you, but if it's what you want, I understand.". I wish that other people would be that way, and that's why this site is important to me.

 

[Isittimetogonola]

Once the magic words are spoken (Inwant to harm/kill myself) the pro-lifers will come out of nowhere and then a transport to a psych facility.

 

[reapandsow918]

This is true about telling people your plans and expecting sympathy in return. People truly don't give a shit.

 

[TAW122]

Excellent post and well said. While I have never explicitly talked about death or suicide to people IRL, I had asked hypotheticals when I was younger (my early 20's) which was still too risky. It resulted in some interrogative questioning and probing into my life that I did not wish to have. Since then, I've bottled up my CTB feelings and ideation as that time there was no subreddit nor even this forum to vent to. As a result I've become more jaded and had tons of rage fuel in my early 20's to mid-20's, but that's another story.

 

[Erase.myself]

I told my therapist my plan for suicide and I sit here typing from the psych hospital. That being said, I'll never do that again. In regards to telling family/friends I get a bunch of "Things get better. Just be patient. This world wouldn't be the same without you. I would miss you so much. There's light at the end of the tunnel. Keep going for others. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem." (These are various responses from friends.)

Lesson learned? Keep my fucking mouth shut. They have NO idea how I am feeling, that I'm in so much emotional pain that it physically hurts to breathe, etc. That these "temporary problems" are indeed not temporary. And sometimes.... sometimes there aren't solutions. And the only solution is death. That's the only thing I find any sense of comfort in besides feeling hunger (I have Anorexia). The comfort that once I get my order for SN and Meto that I'm out.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

Thankfully, I've been a lot better about keeping my plan secret recently (with the exception of this place). The most that might happen if I shared it with anyone is I would get pro-life platitudes that would only piss me off upon hearing them and they may or may try pressuring me into going back to a hospital again. Since I have to put my plan off for a few years (it's hard to be patient, I'll be honest), I'm hoping that somehow I can have a year or two where life is good, so that it makes waiting easier. I am certain that for me, this will probably happen, but like always, it will eventually go back to being shit again afterwards, so ultimately the goal is to prevent things from getting worse by getting on the bus while I still can, but still be able to have fun beforehand.

With that in mind, I want to say that this thread reminded me of this:



Feeling suicidal more often than not, for me, makes me feel like I'm carrying the One Ring around all the time and it's dragging me down, but I can't get rid of it without dying, so for me personally, the reference fits. Once in a while I forget that it's there, but it doesn't take long before I am reminded of it again.

 

[Ardesevent]

Sometimes I consider reaching out to someone, and posts like these make me remember why it's a bad idea.
There's always someone who thinks that having the police bust down your door or being forced to spend money you don't have on therapy will automatically make you want to live.

 

[Nem]

After I made a plan to die my ex and two other friends stopped talking to me instantly. My ex should've understood since I almost died because of the bullshit I had to deal with since they were a certified sociopath. The way I look at it, might as well kill them if you are planning on telling them. They'll stop talking to you either way
Peace/hugs

 

[Legalizemybody]

I failed quite a lot of times, and it truly showed me the true colour of the people around me, please don't expect sympathy, and please don't fight with me that you don't want it. If you are the type of person who doesn't expect any sympathy good for you, this post isn't meant for you. It is human nature wanting to be loved, cared and appreciated for, and we want these things always to be reciprocated. A lot of us spend their whole lives trying to change people, and i think in general it reflects how much we can not change ourselves. People die for a multitude of reasons, and why someone died won't ever be revealed to us, unless that person explicitly mentions it. If you think, you can't control your emotions and you end up telling someone that you are going to commit suicide, bear in mind the consequences will be grave. If someone were to help or care for you, they would do it a long time ago, so if you think threatening them with suicide will work, it won't. You will just end up being the bad guy. People think those who commit suicide are losers, are cowards, are the worst. Just think about it for a second, this is a safe haven because most people understand that committing suicide takes up a lot of courage. People do change their minds. And people here get that, I also believe most of us here are pretty adamant, but due to our own internal conflicts and chaos we can't do it as soon as we want. Life simply isn't meant for all of us, and some of us would rather not be here. And it is okay.
But do remember, the people around you will not take your threats slightly and also some disgusting people will use it against you. Keep it a secret, keep it locked up.Everyone i have ever done the mistake of telling that i want to die, doesn't take me seriously, and some one even asked me while we were having a normal conversation, why am I a pussy for not doing it still.Imagine if you would want to be in my position, just imagine and then think. You wouldn't. Nobody would.
Just for the love of God, don't tell them about your plans, they will use it against you.

I feel like I tell people because I know all this. All this truth makes it easier to kill myself. Makes it more urgent. Makes it inevitable.