Despair can hit us at any age. It is especially tragic for younger people, and this may have some relevance for them. But there are a growing number of people who must wrestle with the "DECISION" for practical reasons, mostly Older People.There may come a time when continuing on becomes virtually impossible. I know very few people and yet most that I know are in my position.
Families are becoming smaller and more widely scattered, so very often we have no one to turn to for help. This is often true for those of us who stayed home to care for an elderly relative and now find ourselves alone and facing homelessness. There are three if us now living together, trying to survive, and only postponing the inevitably. Given that our lives will inevitably end, our only choice is how.
I thought my future was secure. I was trained in communication and advertising. I taught myself typography, composition, graphic design, press work and opened my own printing company while in high school. I had grown up in the recording business so I also learned copy writing, audio production, engineering, voice work, photography, videography, studio lighting, computer photo and video editing, and virtually everything necessary in the advertising and communications field. And I was successful. I built and owned three recording studios. I worked hard and loved what I did. One of my productions actually won a national award which was presented to me by the Chief Justice of the United States Supreme Court at the National Press Club in Washington, DC. In short, I did everything Society told me to do. I played by the rules and I believed the skills I had would always be valuable and my future was secure. I was wrong!
Northern Virginia, DC, and Maryland were a very busy communications hub from the 1950's on. And I was living and working in a prime location. Audio and video and ad agencies flourished as did printing companies and graphic design firms. And yet, within about five years (1998-2003) all of that crashed! Multi-million dollar production and ad companies almost completely disappeared, and thouands of people became unemployed. Of course the same thing was happening in other industries as well. Maybe it happened to you. In fact I just read a piece by a woman who was a top ad exec on Madison Avenue and had at one time had a number of top tier clients. Now, she wrote, everybody is using do-it-yourself ads on Facebook, so she has moved to a very small town in Mexico where she can just get by if she buys little and only from the few local shops.
The cause, of course, was computers. Suddenly, people no longer needed printers or composition houses or recording studios; they could do it all themselves on their computers. On top of that companies learned to outsource to other countries, so Americans couldn't compete. I can continue to work if I am willing to work for $3.00 an hour. But who can do that?
Pardon my long preamble, but I needed to frame the problem. I am now almost 69 yeas old and I face the same problem many my age face: is there any worthwhile future? I am an only child from a very small family. As my business declined I continued to care for my mother and increasingly depended on her Social Security and my father's pension. I adored my mother and after my father died in 2007 I was her constant companion. When she died a year ago last March my heart died as well. I work on my grieving daily. But more, she was the last member of my family. I am now completely alone in the world. This is intolerable enough, but my troubles are compounded by poverty: with her death went most of our income and I am left trying to survive on $760.00 a month, which is impossible. The government considers it quite adequate, which it would be if this was 1921.I have only survived this long because I have two more "orphans of the storm" living with me.
While I was caring for my mother, my ex-wife (also an only child) was taking care of her very invalid father. She met a man who was taking care of his mother who was suffering from advanced dementia. When she died he became homeless and moved in with my ex-wife and was a great help in caring for her father. When her father died she couldn't afford to keep the house and they were both homeless. When it became evident no one would take them in, my mother and I did. So, with my mother gone, the three of us are trying to cling on somehow, but my ex-wife's disability check and my "pin-money" stipend are really not enough. All I do is worry, worry, worry and grieve, grieve, grieve. I have tried to start businesses on the Internet, but the ramp-up would take years (if ever) and the pay is too minimal. I have looked for jobs, but with so many younger people to choose from, no one wants to hire an older person. And again, the pay is a joke and there is no future. I see signs everywhere at fast food places, grocery stores. Yes they are hiring but no one wants to work in a soul-sucking job for pocket change, no benefits and no future. Were I to take such a job I would only be postponing the inevitable. At 69 how many years would I be able to work before I found myself with no income and no way to continue on? Exactly where I am now. And my ex-wife is in the same boat as is her friend. And I have two other friends who will be in the same situation when their mothers die, which, being in their mid 90's will be soon.
My mother lived to be 95, and her doctor commented, "95! That's wonderful. You don't make it to 95 without help." PRECISELY! My parents and my friends parents had their children (or other relatives) to look out for and care for them, as did our grandparents, ad infinitum. But we will have no one to look out for us! Yes, there are government run "old folks homes" if you can tolerate them. And some people can. But most of us agree we would rather d_ _ _ first.
So, now we come to the nub of the problem. I know very few people, but if I know so many in my situation our numbers must be legion. So many of us played by the rules, did our best, may even have been successful, but changes in technology or society or simple Fate have run us aground. In advanced societies governments try to help their citizens, but in more backward nations, like America, people have little value. So, we are left on our own, especially if we have no family to help us as we helped those who came before us. Therefore the question becomes vitally important: do we wait and suffer and let ourselves slide into miserable decrepitude? And for what purpose? Or, having looked long and carefully into the future, and seen nothing of value, do we take matters into our own hands? It is a terrible choice we have to make. And society could ameliorate so much suffering. But, alas, we were born too soon; and our society, satiated with technology, is blind to its almost complete loss of humanity. Perhaps some day we will become civilized enough to care for our people at least as well as Neanderthals did (look it up!) But we shall not live to see it. So, as taboo as the subject of self-delivery is, many of us must think about it; objectively, rationally, and as painful as it may be to do so. What are your thoughts? Remember, we are not discussing "a permanent solution to a temporary problem" (as they always insist on framing it), we are discussing a perminant solution to a permanent, and worsening problem.
Families are becoming smaller and more widely scattered, so very often we have no one to turn to for help. This is often true for those of us who stayed home to care for an elderly relative and now find ourselves alone and facing homelessness. There are three if us now living together, trying to survive, and only postponing the inevitably. Given that our lives will inevitably end, our only choice is how.
I thought my future was secure. I was trained in communication and advertising. I taught myself typography, composition, graphic design, press work and opened my own printing company while in high school. I had grown up in the recording business so I also learned copy writing, audio production, engineering, voice work, photography, videography, studio lighting, computer photo and video editing, and virtually everything necessary in the advertising and communications field. And I was successful. I built and owned three recording studios. I worked hard and loved what I did. One of my productions actually won a national award which was presented to me by the Chief Justice of the United States Supreme Court at the National Press Club in Washington, DC. In short, I did everything Society told me to do. I played by the rules and I believed the skills I had would always be valuable and my future was secure. I was wrong!
Northern Virginia, DC, and Maryland were a very busy communications hub from the 1950's on. And I was living and working in a prime location. Audio and video and ad agencies flourished as did printing companies and graphic design firms. And yet, within about five years (1998-2003) all of that crashed! Multi-million dollar production and ad companies almost completely disappeared, and thouands of people became unemployed. Of course the same thing was happening in other industries as well. Maybe it happened to you. In fact I just read a piece by a woman who was a top ad exec on Madison Avenue and had at one time had a number of top tier clients. Now, she wrote, everybody is using do-it-yourself ads on Facebook, so she has moved to a very small town in Mexico where she can just get by if she buys little and only from the few local shops.
The cause, of course, was computers. Suddenly, people no longer needed printers or composition houses or recording studios; they could do it all themselves on their computers. On top of that companies learned to outsource to other countries, so Americans couldn't compete. I can continue to work if I am willing to work for $3.00 an hour. But who can do that?
Pardon my long preamble, but I needed to frame the problem. I am now almost 69 yeas old and I face the same problem many my age face: is there any worthwhile future? I am an only child from a very small family. As my business declined I continued to care for my mother and increasingly depended on her Social Security and my father's pension. I adored my mother and after my father died in 2007 I was her constant companion. When she died a year ago last March my heart died as well. I work on my grieving daily. But more, she was the last member of my family. I am now completely alone in the world. This is intolerable enough, but my troubles are compounded by poverty: with her death went most of our income and I am left trying to survive on $760.00 a month, which is impossible. The government considers it quite adequate, which it would be if this was 1921.I have only survived this long because I have two more "orphans of the storm" living with me.
While I was caring for my mother, my ex-wife (also an only child) was taking care of her very invalid father. She met a man who was taking care of his mother who was suffering from advanced dementia. When she died he became homeless and moved in with my ex-wife and was a great help in caring for her father. When her father died she couldn't afford to keep the house and they were both homeless. When it became evident no one would take them in, my mother and I did. So, with my mother gone, the three of us are trying to cling on somehow, but my ex-wife's disability check and my "pin-money" stipend are really not enough. All I do is worry, worry, worry and grieve, grieve, grieve. I have tried to start businesses on the Internet, but the ramp-up would take years (if ever) and the pay is too minimal. I have looked for jobs, but with so many younger people to choose from, no one wants to hire an older person. And again, the pay is a joke and there is no future. I see signs everywhere at fast food places, grocery stores. Yes they are hiring but no one wants to work in a soul-sucking job for pocket change, no benefits and no future. Were I to take such a job I would only be postponing the inevitable. At 69 how many years would I be able to work before I found myself with no income and no way to continue on? Exactly where I am now. And my ex-wife is in the same boat as is her friend. And I have two other friends who will be in the same situation when their mothers die, which, being in their mid 90's will be soon.
My mother lived to be 95, and her doctor commented, "95! That's wonderful. You don't make it to 95 without help." PRECISELY! My parents and my friends parents had their children (or other relatives) to look out for and care for them, as did our grandparents, ad infinitum. But we will have no one to look out for us! Yes, there are government run "old folks homes" if you can tolerate them. And some people can. But most of us agree we would rather d_ _ _ first.
So, now we come to the nub of the problem. I know very few people, but if I know so many in my situation our numbers must be legion. So many of us played by the rules, did our best, may even have been successful, but changes in technology or society or simple Fate have run us aground. In advanced societies governments try to help their citizens, but in more backward nations, like America, people have little value. So, we are left on our own, especially if we have no family to help us as we helped those who came before us. Therefore the question becomes vitally important: do we wait and suffer and let ourselves slide into miserable decrepitude? And for what purpose? Or, having looked long and carefully into the future, and seen nothing of value, do we take matters into our own hands? It is a terrible choice we have to make. And society could ameliorate so much suffering. But, alas, we were born too soon; and our society, satiated with technology, is blind to its almost complete loss of humanity. Perhaps some day we will become civilized enough to care for our people at least as well as Neanderthals did (look it up!) But we shall not live to see it. So, as taboo as the subject of self-delivery is, many of us must think about it; objectively, rationally, and as painful as it may be to do so. What are your thoughts? Remember, we are not discussing "a permanent solution to a temporary problem" (as they always insist on framing it), we are discussing a perminant solution to a permanent, and worsening problem.
