Venting For forever

[kirby_99]

Just another voice passing by the crowd of thousands upon millions. It feels like we chase after something our whole lives, for some its a feeling, for some its a person, everyone finds something. For me its been a person, but also the feeling of being comfortable and safe. The feeling for things to finally seem okay as they are. For the positive advice to work. Nothing ever works. I want to be free. I want to lay on the flower field looking up at the sky, free. Without this heavy burden i feel in my throat to my chest. I let him use me again. I let it happen over and over again because I chase after an escape from my parents. I just want to ctb, i just want to have peace. Most of my life has been spent yearning for it. Funny how differently our brains can work from others. It brings me comfort to see that people share my feelings on here. I wish things weren't like this. Do you ever feel like, you don't know who you are anymore? I can barely form a sentence most days or contribute any banter to a conversation. I don't care about anything. Why the hell don't I care??? Why doesn't anything matter to me? Why can't i feel passion or ambition towards anything? Why am i so numb..? I just want to feel something besides this feeling. Besides this overbearing suffocating feeling of nothingness.

 

[Enlighten]

Sounds like you're severely depressed. I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I hope you can find some meaning and the peace you are looking for.