Flip flopping want to reapply to college course

[Bitterman1996]

It's been 10 years since i graduated high school back in 2013, it's been 3 years since i dropped out of uni... I'm 25 now. Just feel ridiculous, not to mention the deadline for first quarter course is the 7th February...

I want to take the first step but i find it hard sharing it to anyone really, i dont think my friends gave a shit. I dont want my parents to suddenly think im doing well and placing high expectation to be functional. I feel like stepping to adulthood too early was a mistake, to boot i wasnt taught any of 'common sense'/social norms well. I dont know, i feel like i might spiraling again and waste more money when i do apply...

I had set my suicide date to be this year if anything hadnt change... It feels depressing every single year, but i am a coward and probably couldnt do it right now.

 

[timf]

You might try a "toe in the water approach" and sign up for a single class. This might be less stressful.

 

[je.suis.prêt]

I assume that you're in the States? I don't really know how it works over there, but here in the UK, we have the option of studying part-time. That would allow you to take things slowly, allowing space for you to not be completely functional.

Or...

You might try a "toe in the water approach" and sign up for a single class. This might be less stressful.

I second this. Take things slowly.

What are you interested in studying?

 

[Bitterman1996]

I assume that you're in the States? I don't really know how it works over there, but here in the UK, we have the option of studying part-time. That would allow you to take things slowly, allowing space for you to not be completely functional.

Or...

I second this. Take things slowly.

What are you interested in studying?

No i'm in asia, it's an online public university... For now i'm thinking statistics

Thank you for the encouragement

I'll try updating the thread from time to time for self-motivation/obligation(? Forgot exact word)

 

[Bitterman1996]

I remembered i meant to say self accountability, ughh that was dumb

(5/2/23)

Anyhow decided not go through with it, mentally I'm not doing well and there's some job ive to do in the coming days that needed my full attention. There's another time to apply this year (around june). Honestly i'm scared i'll get overwhelmed because the field is completely different and i feel like im too stupid to coming back to school/learning. And i'm scared the application would get rejected for whatever reason i'm anxious that the money (even if it isnt much) for the admission will be wasted.

Gonna focus on the upcoming freelance job instead. Man... Im in my mid 20s but shit like this rly made me feel like a toddler.....

 

[je.suis.prêt]

I remembered i meant to say self accountability, ughh that was dumb

(5/2/23)

Anyhow decided not go through with it, mentally I'm not doing well and there's some job ive to do in the coming days that needed my full attention. There's another time to apply this year (around june). Honestly i'm scared i'll get overwhelmed because the field is completely different and i feel like im too stupid to coming back to school/learning. And i'm scared the application would get rejected for whatever reason i'm anxious that the money (even if it isnt much) for the admission will be wasted.

Gonna focus on the upcoming freelance job instead. Man... Im in my mid 20s but shit like this rly made me feel like a toddler.....

I hope it works out for you. Getting some more work experience is also a good thing :)

 

[BornHated]

It's been 10 years since i graduated high school back in 2013, it's been 3 years since i dropped out of uni... I'm 25 now. Just feel ridiculous, not to mention the deadline for first quarter course is the 7th February...

I want to take the first step but i find it hard sharing it to anyone really, i dont think my friends gave a shit. I dont want my parents to suddenly think im doing well and placing high expectation to be functional. I feel like stepping to adulthood too early was a mistake, to boot i wasnt taught any of 'common sense'/social norms well. I dont know, i feel like i might spiraling again and waste more money when i do apply...

I had set my suicide date to be this year if anything hadnt change... It feels depressing every single year, but i am a coward and probably couldnt do it right now.

I'm going to be 26 in April and I wanted to comment that we're in a very similar situation. Terrified of stepping up because I KNOW my mother will be expecting me to take care of her and possibly sabotage my studies, and it generally feels like I won't be able to see it through to the end seeing how my history with academics has gone
I feel horrible thinking about the future, just know you're not alone. I'm sorry it's this bad, I try to remind myself living is temporary and that this problem won't be forever, I guess. Wish I had better advice.

 

[VioletNight]

I remembered i meant to say self accountability, ughh that was dumb

(5/2/23)

Anyhow decided not go through with it, mentally I'm not doing well and there's some job ive to do in the coming days that needed my full attention. There's another time to apply this year (around june). Honestly i'm scared i'll get overwhelmed because the field is completely different and i feel like im too stupid to coming back to school/learning. And i'm scared the application would get rejected for whatever reason i'm anxious that the money (even if it isnt much) for the admission will be wasted.

Gonna focus on the upcoming freelance job instead. Man... Im in my mid 20s but shit like this rly made me feel like a toddler.....

It'll feel good to be doing something at least, hope the job goes well for you. Mid 20s is still pretty young though and I feel the same sometimes about how hard it still is to do things that seem so easy to others. You've got this!

 

[Bitterman1996]

It'll feel good to be doing something at least, hope the job goes well for you. Mid 20s is still pretty young though and I feel the same sometimes about how hard it still is to do things that seem so easy to others. You've got this!

It's nothing fancy, just personal project.. thank you for the encouragement though i still hope to enroll this year at least.

I'm going to be 26 in April and I wanted to comment that we're in a very similar situation. Terrified of stepping up because I KNOW my mother will be expecting me to take care of her and possibly sabotage my studies, and it generally feels like I won't be able to see it through to the end seeing how my history with academics has gone
I feel horrible thinking about the future, just know you're not alone. I'm sorry it's this bad, I try to remind myself living is temporary and that this problem won't be forever, I guess. Wish I had better advice.

It's okay, i feel like it's more common than we think... Nowadays most jobs, even ones with bad wages needs some kind of degree. It's ridiculous, of course not all of them but people are expected to have it just for the sake of having it. Aside from that i just feel like a lot of aspect in life isn't worth the effort, just left me exhausted and empty.

Navigating adulthood with depression is the worst.. sorry for the venting. Anyhow just wanted to say, good luck to you as well..

I hope it works out for you. Getting some more work experience is also a good thing :)

Thank you, tho it's just personal project i wish to improve my skill a bit.