CaringShrimp
Shrimping around
- Nov 20, 2022
- 48
I finally managed to break up with boyfriend about a week ago, after struggling with fear of being kicked onto the street/sent back to my narcissistic parents. Things were going somewhat well, he recovered from it fairly quickly.
Until today. We talked about how we are going to handle the situation in the future. I successfully set a boundary with him (I struggle with that) and I guess he did not like that. After I got really hurt by things he said, I went to my room and that's where he completely snapped. He threw furniture across the apartment and had a melt down. I was worried that he might have hurt himself so I checked on him and layed my plushie (from my childhood) next to him in an attempt to sooth him, like I always did when he is mad or sad. It made him even angrier (which I can understand).
I must admit, I was also on edge and my emotions got the best of me so I ended up saying that "I'm sorry for hurting you but I really cannot stand you." I quickly learned that, this was a huge mistake as he took my plushie and threw it right at me while screaming.
I was absolutely terrified because I thought he would come for me and maybe even use violence. It especially scared me because I was abused in previous relationships and have cptsd. I quickly hid in my room and had a complete breakdown. Only a few minutes later I realized that I'm not safe here and had to go somewhere. I packed the essentials and decided to go to the hospital, since I do not have any family or friends that I could go to.
I'm now safe, in the hospital and will definitely stay here. I don't have any other choice but to contact my narcissistic parents that I cut off (for ruining my life and health) They live in a different country so it will definitely take some time and I'm terrified of them but I just don't see any way out of this. Once I'm there I'll order SN and hopefully ctb. I don't know anymore.
Until today. We talked about how we are going to handle the situation in the future. I successfully set a boundary with him (I struggle with that) and I guess he did not like that. After I got really hurt by things he said, I went to my room and that's where he completely snapped. He threw furniture across the apartment and had a melt down. I was worried that he might have hurt himself so I checked on him and layed my plushie (from my childhood) next to him in an attempt to sooth him, like I always did when he is mad or sad. It made him even angrier (which I can understand).
I must admit, I was also on edge and my emotions got the best of me so I ended up saying that "I'm sorry for hurting you but I really cannot stand you." I quickly learned that, this was a huge mistake as he took my plushie and threw it right at me while screaming.
I was absolutely terrified because I thought he would come for me and maybe even use violence. It especially scared me because I was abused in previous relationships and have cptsd. I quickly hid in my room and had a complete breakdown. Only a few minutes later I realized that I'm not safe here and had to go somewhere. I packed the essentials and decided to go to the hospital, since I do not have any family or friends that I could go to.
I'm now safe, in the hospital and will definitely stay here. I don't have any other choice but to contact my narcissistic parents that I cut off (for ruining my life and health) They live in a different country so it will definitely take some time and I'm terrified of them but I just don't see any way out of this. Once I'm there I'll order SN and hopefully ctb. I don't know anymore.
