thankgodfor
I must not think bad thoughts
- Jul 11, 2021
- 8
so, the whole problem with my life is basically growing up. as silly and stupid as it sounds, i just cant handle adult life and its responsabilities, i turned 18 about 2 months ago and even if nothing has changed yet but the fact that theorically im not a teenager anymore, i know that my future will be the same as almost everyone because im poor, i know i will work all day with something i probably hate til i get old enough to stop working and then when i finally can enjoy life i will be full of diseases and ugly. i can try so hard but i will never be able to love a life which i have to do the same fucking thing everyday to survive and still always be lacking money to travel and have fun, just like everyone around me. whats the point of being here if i'm obligated to follow a kind of script that makes me unhappy and cannot do what i really want? and i know theres nothing i can do about it so at least to me keep living would be a kind of torture. maybe i sound so immature and ignorant to older people so pls be kind if you think differently but i see my parents spend all day working and they never have any money to do anything but pay the bills. i dont hate myself, i dont find myself ugly and i have friends so i dont know if i really want to die, i just can't adapt myself and don't see any other way to handle with this. all i wanted was to enjoy my life while im young and dont have to worry about these things i said before but i've spent my teen years being depressed as shit and doing nothing but cry and study. now i'll probably start working soon and going to college if i make it and i feel like i wasted the only phase of my life that i could have been happy.
ps: sorry i dont know if this is allowed here but i just wanted to say thank you to the person who left a message on my profile asking how i am. i read it but i couldn't answer i dont know why maybe theres some permissions lacking. you are a very nice person, hope you are well too.
ps: sorry i dont know if this is allowed here but i just wanted to say thank you to the person who left a message on my profile asking how i am. i read it but i couldn't answer i dont know why maybe theres some permissions lacking. you are a very nice person, hope you are well too.
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