Venting first post

[livingcy]

im so tired I can't do it anymore. my fp (favorite person) is genuinely rude to me and each time he says to kys it pushes me further and further. idk what to do anymore, I can't live without him and if he left that will genuinely be my final straw. I can't be alone and I definitely can't lose him. I'm so scared and my only coping mechanisms aren't even really available so I'm just stuck to feel miserable, can't cut cus I've almost completely ran out of space and all i have is a shitty dull kitchen knife. each time he makes fun of me and is rude to me it pushes me further over the edge and idk if I can take it anymore. I'm so scared and I think it's my only option. I'm making a plan but so so little methods are available to me

 

[locked*n*loaded]

To me, it doesn't sound like you have a very good person in your life for you to consider them your fp. No morally decent person is going to tell someone to go kys, unless it's in jest, and BOTH parties know it's just joking around. Also, if you "can't live without him" is the sign of an unhealthy relationship, imo. It's just not healthy to be that reliant on someone else.

 

[Mirrory Me]

Your favorite person told you that? I guess he is just stressed out too... Try to relax and perhaps not take it too hard on yourself.

 

[livingcy]

To me, it doesn't sound like you have a very good person in your life for you to consider them your fp. No morally decent person is going to tell someone to go kys, unless it's in jest, and BOTH parties know it's just joking around. Also, if you "can't live without him" is the sign of an unhealthy relationship, imo. It's just not healthy to be that reliant on someone else.

I have bpd and I know he isn't good for me but I can't help it I haven't felt loved in forever and I don't know if I can go back to being alone, this is my last straw

 

[EvisceratedJester]

To me, it doesn't sound like you have a very good person in your life for you to consider them your fp. No morally decent person is going to tell someone to go kys, unless it's in jest, and BOTH parties know it's just joking around. Also, if you "can't live without him" is the sign of an unhealthy relationship, imo. It's just not healthy to be that reliant on someone else.

Yeah, you don't know what a fp is, do you? The OP should already be aware of the fact that their relationship is unhealthy, considering the fact that this is already something already well-known about fp type relationships.

What Does It Mean When Someone With BPD Has a 'Favorite Person?'

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is marked by intense emotions and moods. Another notable sign of BPD is a favorite person relationship, but is this healthy?

www.verywellmind.com

 

[Nikitatos]

Breakups are hard for everyone. Sorry you're going through that.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Yeah, you don't know what a fp is, do you? The OP should already be aware of the fact that their relationship is unhealthy, considering the fact that this is already something already well-known about fp type relationships.

My posting wasn't directed to you. Why don't you mind your ofb? The OP seemed inclined enough to respond to me posting. If I don't know every goddamn mother fucking thing in this entire fucking world, well fucking excuse me for that and thank you for always pointing it out to me. You've got some kind of a narcissistic complex that you really ought to get looked into. Where the fuck would I be without you to constantly set me straight? Do you want my blood, too? How about my first born child? Anything I have is yours for repayment for all of the things you have done for me. I would be nothing without you in this life. I owe you everything and the deepest gratitude. You are my savior. Hallowed be thy name @evisceratedjester Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah

 

[greyblue_bian]

Okay, so I'm back to this post since I read it earlier and I was going through the same thing only a few months ago. I understand entirely that you probably love this person or are in love with them. It makes it harder to leave; it makes it harder to give up on a possibility that they would stop saying and doing the things that hurt you. It's hard to let go of someone like this if you deeply care about their well-being and just want to be there for them when things are hard and when things are really good, I'm still struggling really bad to let go. I don't know all the variables of your relationship with this person, so I'm just going to go off of what I know from this thread, so I'm sorry if I assume wrong or the things I say really don't help. His behavior is that of someone who doesn't care about how you're doing or if you're doing well. If that was the case, him making fun of you and saying "kys" a lot would stop and he would make it a priority to make sure you got better and that things between you two were improving and getting healthier. Everyone that has said he isn't a good person to keep around is right, he isn't. This relationship is toxic as you're aware you feel deeply enough that you can't live without him because you've been deprived of the love and attention that every person needs. Listen, don't listen to the criticism you're getting about you being in an abusive relationship like this one. Don't even pay attention to people arguing in your comments I saw one person say that he was stressed out too and that may be the reason why he said that, but literally no one with any basic human decency would tell someone to do that just because they're are stressed or upset/frustrated ( not criticizing the person who said it, just helping the poster out :) ). If you feel like your situation is, it's not your fault you're in an abusive relationship and it's not your fault he is treating you terribly. At all. It's not. I started cutting when I was with him earlier this year, and it barely did anything for me, but I can see how it may be one of the last few things to help you feel better somehow. Nevertheless, it ultimately leads to nothing. Please, don't continue to cut and try finding other ways of getting things out. I heard using a rubber or hairband on your wrist helps to replace cutting and you could try that.

I'm trying my best not to overwhelm you with a giant paragraph but if you need to talk about what you're going through or you literally just need someone to talk to at all, or need any help in taking steps to leaving him, just let me know.

 

[sugarb]

im so tired I can't do it anymore. my fp (favorite person) is genuinely rude to me and each time he says to kys it pushes me further and further. idk what to do anymore, I can't live without him and if he left that will genuinely be my final straw. I can't be alone and I definitely can't lose him. I'm so scared and my only coping mechanisms aren't even really available so I'm just stuck to feel miserable, can't cut cus I've almost completely ran out of space and all i have is a shitty dull kitchen knife. each time he makes fun of me and is rude to me it pushes me further over the edge and idk if I can take it anymore. I'm so scared and I think it's my only option. I'm making a plan but so so little methods are available to me

Nobody who actually cares about you will say KYS unjokingly. I understand being alone is scary/difficult but being with someone like that is probably even worse for you than you realize

whatever you do, don't use an uncertain or risky method like prescription OD or a small jump or cutting etc. it probably won't work and you'll be even worse off

My posting wasn't directed to you. Why don't you mind your ofb? The OP seemed inclined enough to respond to me posting. If I don't know every goddamn mother fucking thing in this entire fucking world, well fucking excuse me for that and thank you for always pointing it out to me. You've got some kind of a narcissistic complex that you really ought to get looked into. Where the fuck would I be without you to constantly set me straight? Do you want my blood, too? How about my first born child? Anything I have is yours for repayment for all of the things you have done for me. I would be nothing without you in this life. I owe you everything and the deepest gratitude. You are my savior. Hallowed be thy name @evisceratedjester Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah

dude, you gotta chill out

 

[EvisceratedJester]

My posting wasn't directed to you. Why don't you mind your ofb? The OP seemed inclined enough to respond to me posting. If I don't know every goddamn mother fucking thing in this entire fucking world, well fucking excuse me for that and thank you for always pointing it out to me. You've got some kind of a narcissistic complex that you really ought to get looked into. Where the fuck would I be without you to constantly set me straight? Do you want my blood, too? How about my first born child? Anything I have is yours for repayment for all of the things you have done for me. I would be nothing without you in this life. I owe you everything and the deepest gratitude. You are my savior. Hallowed be thy name @evisceratedjester Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah

Jesus christ, calm down dude.

 

[livingcy]

Okay, so I'm back to this post since I read it earlier and I was going through the same thing only a few months ago. I understand entirely that you probably love this person or are in love with them. It makes it harder to leave; it makes it harder to give up on a possibility that they would stop saying and doing the things that hurt you. It's hard to let go of someone like this if you deeply care about their well-being and just want to be there for them when things are hard and when things are really good, I'm still struggling really bad to let go. I don't know all the variables of your relationship with this person, so I'm just going to go off of what I know from this thread, so I'm sorry if I assume wrong or the things I say really don't help. His behavior is that of someone who doesn't care about how you're doing or if you're doing well. If that was the case, him making fun of you and saying "kys" a lot would stop and he would make it a priority to make sure you got better and that things between you two were improving and getting healthier. Everyone that has said he isn't a good person to keep around is right, he isn't. This relationship is toxic as you're aware you feel deeply enough that you can't live without him because you've been deprived of the love and attention that every person needs. Listen, don't listen to the criticism you're getting about you being in an abusive relationship like this one. Don't even pay attention to people arguing in your comments I saw one person say that he was stressed out too and that may be the reason why he said that, but literally no one with any basic human decency would tell someone to do that just because they're are stressed or upset/frustrated ( not criticizing the person who said it, just helping the poster out :) ). If you feel like your situation is, it's not your fault you're in an abusive relationship and it's not your fault he is treating you terribly. At all. It's not. I started cutting when I was with him earlier this year, and it barely did anything for me, but I can see how it may be one of the last few things to help you feel better somehow. Nevertheless, it ultimately leads to nothing. Please, don't continue to cut and try finding other ways of getting things out. I heard using a rubber or hairband on your wrist helps to replace cutting and you could try that.

I'm trying my best not to overwhelm you with a giant paragraph but if you need to talk about what you're going through or you literally just need someone to talk to at all, or need any help in taking steps to leaving him, just let me know.

thank you I really appreciate it , I'm not good with words but thank you

 

[greyblue_bian]

thank you I really appreciate it , I'm not good with words but thank you

It's the least I can do. My messages are open whenever :)

 

[Dot]

My posting wasn't directed to you. Why don't you mind your ofb? The OP seemed inclined enough to respond to me posting. If I don't know every goddamn mother fucking thing in this entire fucking world, well fucking excuse me for that and thank you for always pointing it out to me. You've got some kind of a narcissistic complex that you really ought to get looked into. Where the fuck would I be without you to constantly set me straight? Do you want my blood, too? How about my first born child? Anything I have is yours for repayment for all of the things you have done for me. I would be nothing without you in this life. I owe you everything and the deepest gratitude. You are my savior. Hallowed be thy name @evisceratedjester Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah

 

[huntermellow]

im so tired I can't do it anymore. my fp (favorite person) is genuinely rude to me and each time he says to kys it pushes me further and further. idk what to do anymore, I can't live without him and if he left that will genuinely be my final straw. I can't be alone and I definitely can't lose him. I'm so scared and my only coping mechanisms aren't even really available so I'm just stuck to feel miserable, can't cut cus I've almost completely ran out of space and all i have is a shitty dull kitchen knife. each time he makes fun of me and is rude to me it pushes me further over the edge and idk if I can take it anymore. I'm so scared and I think it's my only option. I'm making a plan but so so little methods are available to me

i'm so sorry you're going through this :( i'm going through a similar thing. my fp isn't in my life anymore but even after thinking about how he treated me i can't help but still love him because it was so easy for him to be a good person to everyone else but me and i just wanted to prove i could be loved by him and not just be known as a rebound forever. he ruined me emotionally but i can't get over him because it was the first time i ever felt wanted and special and i doubt anyone will ever like me again