Discussion First memory of consciousness

[dontwantocareanymore]

Life is bizarre. It feels like, one moment you are "nothing" & then BOOM! You are conscious!

What was your first memory of being conscious? As in, the first moment you realized that you were a physical being?
I think I was somewhere in between 2-4 years old. I remember being in some form of activity, responding to outside stimuli, where I was like, "I'm here." Seems kind of late to me to realize that I existed, but it is the earliest recognition of consciousness that I can remember.

Edit: & How did it make you feel to realize? I remember feeling kind of confused to know that I was "someone/something."

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

that's hard. i always felt out of place in my body, like i was in some virtual reality and this body wasn't mine. the idea of consciousness has always fucked with me, though. not to mention my memories from my childhood are all over the place.

i've always just... been. i never had to think about it. i knew i was here, and i felt weird about it.

 

[dontwantocareanymore]

that's hard. i always felt out of place in my body, like i was in some virtual reality and this body wasn't mine. the idea of consciousness has always fucked with me, though. not to mention my memories from my childhood are all over the place.

i've always just... been. i never had to think about it. i knew i was here, and i felt weird about it.

I can relate to the out of place/VR thing. I believe I also felt kind of irritated to know that "I" was something. Didn't want to be & still don't!

 

[mediocre]

I think my first memory was when I was 3 I fell off a slide and hit my head on the concrete. maybe that's how I ended up so fucked up and with autism. I remember being at the hospital and I couldn't sit still, there were some sort of lights I was distracted by. It is quite a strange memory.

 

[dontwantocareanymore]

I think my first memory was when I was 3 I fell off a slide and hit my head on the concrete. maybe that's how I ended up so fucked up and with autism. I remember being at the hospital and I couldn't sit still, there were some sort of lights I was distracted by. It is quite a strange memory.

Ick... the hospital. Good times!

 

[Panna]

Waking up in my bedroom in the first house I could remember, walking out into the small living room and then into the kitchen, not knowing what my name was or anything. That first memory that you have is very comforting and exciting to me. There's the atheists and the religious, but if we just one day pop into existance as a child, who's to say it can't happen again.

 

[dontwantocareanymore]

Waking up in my bedroom in the first house I could remember, walking out into the small living room and then into the kitchen, not knowing what my name was or anything. That first memory that you have is very comforting and exciting to me. There's the atheists and the religious, but if we just one day pop into existance as a child, who's to say it can't happen again.

Thanks for sharing & I'm glad you found comfort in your first memory. & I completely agree with you- no one can say for certain what's next. Life is absurd to begin with especially, so who is to say that whatever may happen "can't" happen? Some people are like a brick wall & I stop engaging right then & there when they assert "absolute" views.

 

[Panna]

Thanks for sharing & I'm glad you found comfort in your first memory. & I completely agree with you- no one can say for certain what's next. Life is absurd to begin with especially, so who is to say that whatever may happen "can't" happen? Some people are like a brick wall & I stop engaging right then & there when they assert "absolute" views.

Exactly, no one knows, and thats what makes me so excited to die, not knowing where my consciousness could go, but using that first memory as evidence, theres a chance that I could live the life that I dream of right now. In any case once my consciousness fades here, I will cease to exist in this place and that is very exciting.

 

[Mellowmood]

It was terrifying, I was waking up in those little baby carrier in a dark room and I could hear the voices of my parents and my uncle in another room

 

[dontwantocareanymore]

It was terrifying, I was waking up in those little baby carrier in a dark room and I could hear the voices of my parents and my uncle in another room

Wow! I wonder if you experienced something similar to Alex Grey & numerous others.

 

[Jon86]

Around 4, was in the hospital at night alone in a dark room, was in there for viral arthritis at the time. It was ominous, although I didn't feel scared, felt calm. Years later, I have rheumatoid arthritis now, went well over a decade undiagnosed looking back, not knowing but always being sick and tired lead me to suicidal thinking.

 

[Mellowmood]

Wow! I wonder if you experienced something similar to Alex Grey & numerous others.

Well not really, my memory isnt so detailed as him. Mine was more like waking up from the void.

 

[Jumper Geo]

My earliest memory was seeing this really bright light and then some bastard smacked me on the arse ,

 

[k75]

I don't really have any super early memories. The few I have from when I was a kid are traumatic in some way. Having stitches and crutches, not being allowed to see my grandfather when he was dying...

No joke, my earliest memory seems to be when I was 4 or 5, desperately wanting a Cadbury Creme egg at Easter but not being allowed to eat it because I was supposedly hyperactive and not allowed sugar. Such trauma!

I guess that proves life isn't fair.

 

[WitheringAway]

My mom trying to cool down an extreme fever I had. 2 of my family members (don't remember exactly who) thought I was dead and were shaking me because I wasn't responsive it seems. Then when I started realizing my existence my mom offered me a banana :( it's sad but wholesome wish she loved me now as much lol
Edit: when I asked my mom about it she said she indeed thought I was dead because I was stiff and not blinking

 

[Toptock]

I remember my mother and father fighting, screaming at each other in front of my crib. I don't know how old I was but I knew I was standing, I could see out the front mesh of the crib and I remember crying because I was afraid for them, and they looked at me. Memory ends there. Earliest one I have

 

[AE2021]

This is such an interesting question, as are all of your answers. Mine was when I was around two and suddenly it felt like I was waking slowly from a dream, running through my grandmothers backyard with just a diaper on, crying because I had become aware that the diaper was wet and I didn't like the way if felt and just wanted it off of me. I was crying really loud. On my way across the yard I stepped in a mushy, kind of rotten apple and I was barefoot. Still remember it oozing between my toes and didn't like that either. Started crying really loud at that point. It was about all those unpleasant physical sensations.

 

[purplesmoothie]

Mine was around 2 sitting on the floor in the living room while my parents were in the kitchen (open floor plan) and that's it really. I remember feeling calm and scared at the same time.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I don't know. Young memories. Maybe my toy box, where i kept my soldiers. I think that is one of my earliest memories. Several years ago we refurbished the old family home. We took out the telephone stand. It turned out to have been a repurposed box, blue, with some initials on the end. You guessed it...I wondered where that had gone! Dad had turned it into the phone stand. It now sits on my table and stores leaflets.

 

[Squiddy]

Mine was being in daycare (I think I was 4) and me and my friend chewed on a worm (I still have the taste in my mouth yuck!)