First chance at physical intimacy with the only person I've ever liked tomorrow and I think I'm going to cancel (again)

[NaturalBornNEET]

For context I'm 22. I'm hesitant to even post this because I know it may make some people angry, and I don't blame them. I don't feel human, I've never heard of any other man having this problem, this deathly fear of other people, of intimacy. My whole life I've wanted this and have bemoaned and agonised myself over my loneliness and inceldom. And now that I finally have the chance? I just can't do it.

I've known her a few months, first person I've ever crushed on, I asked her out and we've been on one date, I absolutely hated it, but I'm just obsessed with her, I hate being in her presence, it's the worst feeling in the world, the thought of her terrifies me and yet I want nothing more than to be intimate with her, I don't understand.

We arranged to go to her place to hook up last week, I could feel a panic attack coming and cancelled last second and entered an ensuing state of crisis for days after until I got desperate enough to arrange again tomorrow. And now I think I want to cancel again. If I do that will be it for me, my SN from DMC has been in transit for 50 days now, it'll probably never come, I'm probably just going to hang myself, tomorrow night. I can't stop crying, I can't sleep, I can't shake this agonising anxiety and I just want relief.

My psychiatrist prescribed ativan for tomorrow, I've never tried it but I doubt it will work, I'm still ultimately undecided but the clocks ticking for me.

 

[bladeeluvr444]

I'm assuming you have some form of anxiety? If so I'm deeply sorry. I have problems with wanting something but when it actually comes down to doing it I literally just can't ,I feel paralyzed. I hope if you do take the medicine your psychiatrist gave you it helps you in some way <3

 

[escape_from_hell]

Have you taken any other benzos or will Ativan be your first? It may indeed help. I was honestly just going to recommend to have 1-3 beers, contrary to the 'whiskey dick' notion a medium quantity like 4 drinks or so has turned me into porn god before (too much is still too much!), when I am usually an anxious mess and dick going limp at the slightest suggestion that the woman is not insanely turned on and hungry for every last drip drop of creme de nutsack (I don't understand non-consensual sex for that reason, any doubt that I am sincerely wanted results in severe lack of libido).

I mention this stuff because you say PRIOR to this opportunity you bemoaned and agonized over your loneliness and perceived inceldom. You then mention panic attacks coming when performance time arrives. Indeed it is an extremely intimate evaluation, and you may feel (or anticipate feeling) like a complete failure if she is not screaming like a possessed demon banshee in sheer ecstatic orgasm with your MANLY thrusts.
(I am trying to lighten up the mood with crude talk, if it's not humorous though and you are a nervous wreck still, let's get serious for a moment...)
So basically, your perceived inadequacy (loneliness, fear of lifelong inceldom) is not over yet because the deed itself is yet done. HENCE give the ativan a shot! I'm not sure how benzos are on sexual performance, but nuking your anxiety might help you way more than you think. You may be able to not be so worried and really relax and then feel wanted and the intimacy, and you won't worry so much about whether you are putting on the olympic-level performance you maybe subconsciously suspect is the norm for her sexual encounters. Even if the ativan doesn't do the trick, try a few drinks later on, or other anxiety-supressing meds like phenibut (careful, serious addiction liability) or well, anything that boosts libido etc. You might be surprised at the difference in how you feel going into such a scenario! And the good thing is, it may boost your confidence or your intimacy with her to the extent you aren't so nervous at a baseline with the whole situation.

So please, before you yank your neck with a rope, try and get your dick properly yanked. I mean, what the hell, if you're really on the brink of death, just give it a go? Plus, those anxiety meds could come in handy to quell SI later if you do indeed decide to die (hopefully after getting your testicles tickled).

One last thing, you said you know your post might make some people angry. This could also be another source of anxiety, guilt, etc. Related to your prior feelings of inceldom etc. YES a lot of dudes are not getting that sweet honey pie in modern times. YES you are a lucky dawg. BUT LET GO OF THAT GUILT, again the anxiety meds etc will help! You're thinking about taking your own life, so don't feel guilty for your sexual prospects just because a lot of people are completely unwanted and in severe isolation and suffering. Yes it is sad, but you're not gonna help your bros out by not letting yourself experience sexuality for yourself. Do it for you. And you don't have to brag about it to the less fortunate, no guilt friend.

 

[Crematoryy]

For context I'm 22. I'm hesitant to even post this because I know it may make some people angry, and I don't blame them. I don't feel human, I've never heard of any other man having this problem, this deathly fear of other people, of intimacy. My whole life I've wanted this and have bemoaned and agonised myself over my loneliness and inceldom. And now that I finally have the chance? I just can't do it.

I've known her a few months, first person I've ever crushed on, I asked her out and we've been on one date, I absolutely hated it, but I'm just obsessed with her, I hate being in her presence, it's the worst feeling in the world, the thought of her terrifies me and yet I want nothing more than to be intimate with her, I don't understand.

We arranged to go to her place to hook up last week, I could feel a panic attack coming and cancelled last second and entered an ensuing state of crisis for days after until I got desperate enough to arrange again tomorrow. And now I think I want to cancel again. If I do that will be it for me, my SN from DMC has been in transit for 50 days now, it'll probably never come, I'm probably just going to hang myself, tomorrow night. I can't stop crying, I can't sleep, I can't shake this agonising anxiety and I just want relief.

My psychiatrist prescribed ativan for tomorrow, I've never tried it but I doubt it will work, I'm still ultimately undecided but the clocks ticking for me.

I assume that you are a regular visitor to the incels.is forum, and that you know how envious other users feel when they read about a supposed "Ascension" (in the language typically used).

You shouldn't waste this chance! See, you're willing to die but you can't confront your irrational fears. Many would give their lives to be in your shoes, but you will spit in their faces. The least you should do is break your limits, here and now, regardless of what the results may be.

About your phobia or social anxiety, I know how disastrous it is to bear and deal with this. You self-analyze every movement you make looking for adequacy. Your mind will echo uncertainties and insufficiencies (it is your worst enemy). Even if you stop being an incel, incelism will remain in you unconsciously.

What level of commitment and intimacy do you have? Can you demonstrate vulnerability without fear of rejection? What type of psychodynamism is this?

(Talk to yourself)

 

[NaturalBornNEET]

I'm assuming you have some form of anxiety? If so I'm deeply sorry. I have problems with wanting something but when it actually comes down to doing it I literally just can't ,I feel paralyzed. I hope if you do take the medicine your psychiatrist gave you it helps you in some way <3

Yeah, autism and a stutter too. I have that feeling of paralysis, when it comes down to the actual moment I lose all my ability to reason, it's what lead me to cancel it last week. Also I'll definitely give it a try! May as well, thank you <3

Have you taken any other benzos or will Ativan be your first? It may indeed help. I was honestly just going to recommend to have 1-3 beers, contrary to the 'whiskey dick' notion a medium quantity like 4 drinks or so has turned me into porn god before (too much is still too much!), when I am usually an anxious mess and dick going limp at the slightest suggestion that the woman is not insanely turned on and hungry for every last drip drop of creme de nutsack (I don't understand non-consensual sex for that reason, any doubt that I am sincerely wanted results in severe lack of libido).

I mention this stuff because you say PRIOR to this opportunity you bemoaned and agonized over your loneliness and perceived inceldom. You then mention panic attacks coming when performance time arrives. Indeed it is an extremely intimate evaluation, and you may feel (or anticipate feeling) like a complete failure if she is not screaming like a possessed demon banshee in sheer ecstatic orgasm with your MANLY thrusts.
(I am trying to lighten up the mood with crude talk, if it's not humorous though and you are a nervous wreck still, let's get serious for a moment...)
So basically, your perceived inadequacy (loneliness, fear of lifelong inceldom) is not over yet because the deed itself is yet done. HENCE give the ativan a shot! I'm not sure how benzos are on sexual performance, but nuking your anxiety might help you way more than you think. You may be able to not be so worried and really relax and then feel wanted and the intimacy, and you won't worry so much about whether you are putting on the olympic-level performance you maybe subconsciously suspect is the norm for her sexual encounters. Even if the ativan doesn't do the trick, try a few drinks later on, or other anxiety-supressing meds like phenibut (careful, serious addiction liability) or well, anything that boosts libido etc. You might be surprised at the difference in how you feel going into such a scenario! And the good thing is, it may boost your confidence or your intimacy with her to the extent you aren't so nervous at a baseline with the whole situation.

So please, before you yank your neck with a rope, try and get your dick properly yanked. I mean, what the hell, if you're really on the brink of death, just give it a go? Plus, those anxiety meds could come in handy to quell SI later if you do indeed decide to die (hopefully after getting your testicles tickled).

One last thing, you said you know your post might make some people angry. This could also be another source of anxiety, guilt, etc. Related to your prior feelings of inceldom etc. YES a lot of dudes are not getting that sweet honey pie in modern times. YES you are a lucky dawg. BUT LET GO OF THAT GUILT, again the anxiety meds etc will help! You're thinking about taking your own life, so don't feel guilty for your sexual prospects just because a lot of people are completely unwanted and in severe isolation and suffering. Yes it is sad, but you're not gonna help your bros out by not letting yourself experience sexuality for yourself. Do it for you. And you don't have to brag about it to the less fortunate, no guilt friend.

Ye will be my first benzo. Before being prescribed these I was seriously considering resorting to alcohol or thc, but I don't really get the lack of anxiety unless I get absolutely hammered, otherwise it just makes me more awkward. Plus she said she'd rather we both be sober.

Honestly my expectations aren't that high, in fact they're constantly decreasing as a way for me to cope. Even if I braved this and went to her house sober there's no way I'd be in the mood for sex, so everything really hinges on this benzo. I'm more interested in making out with her, and actually breaking the ice so I could meet her again without the game ruining anxiety, so if the benzos do dampen my sexual performance or libido it doesn't really matter.

But ultimately I will go with what you said, before deciding to cancel I'll try the benzo right before and hopefully it works a miracle, I've also got propranolol too. I just have to fight like hell to keep ahold of my reason the rest of this night.

Also I relate to the needing to feel extremely desired to be comfortable, I'll never understand the motive behind rape for that reason, because ultimately what I want is the total acceptance and warm embrace of my person that comes with sex rather than sex as the act itself. So really, just her entertaining the thought of being with me means I've achieved what I've ultimately always wanted, if I keep that in mind at least I'll be able to ctb with a smile on my face.

I assume that you are a regular visitor to the incels.is forum, and that you know how envious other users feel when they read about a supposed "Ascension" (in the language typically used).

You shouldn't waste this chance! See, you're willing to die but you can't confront your irrational fears. Many would give their lives to be in your shoes, but you will spit in their faces. The least you should do is break your limits, here and now, regardless of what the results may be.

About your phobia or social anxiety, I know how disastrous it is to bear and deal with this. You self-analyze every movement you make looking for adequacy. Your mind will echo uncertainties and insufficiencies (it is your worst enemy). Even if you stop being an incel, incelism will remain in you unconsciously.

What level of commitment and intimacy do you have? Can you demonstrate vulnerability without fear of rejection? What type of psychodynamism is this?

(Talk to yourself)

I was a regular lurker around 2018-2020, had to stop though, torturing myself with constant exposure to blackpills got tiring after a while.

Thank you for being blunt, was honestly what I was looking for and why I made this post. It's such a stupid thing, to be so comfortable with the thought of death but afraid of something completely irrational.

But damn I almost feel bad for this girl, I don't think she knows what she's getting herself into. I've basically been completely shut in for 6+ years straight now, my ability to hold a conversation has completely atrophied, I have no material really to talk about, and even when I do have something to say the words have to go through a trainwreck as they come out (my stutter). But she's interacted with me enough irl to know this, so I guess it just must not bother her that much?

 

[escape_from_hell]

Just a couple things before your big moment...
Maybe be weary that the Ativan could make you sleepy, so I guess do whatever you can to mitigate that risk. Be alert however works for you, try and time it right--worst case maybe you'll just get cozy together in bed and have a cuddle nap or something so it's not the end of the world.
Other thing is weed can make you horny but I don't think it's reliable for performing like a stallion or something, too hazy and goofy/derealizing for me at least. And yeah, alcohol dose response can be unpredictable, definitely don't mix with the benzo anyway of course.

Most importantly, keep in mind that sex is often overrated. You've probably heard that before but keep it in mind. Your first time is not likely to be better than your top 10 wanks thus far. A lot of it is all about how aroused you are and so on, there's a lot of factors. Yes the real thing is better than masturbation all else equal but not always.

I'm glad you've already reasoned yourself out of the need to "perform" already, that will help. She seems to like you so as you said, you kinda already got your wish. Given what you say about your social skills, maybe they aren't as bad as you imagine, other dudes are way worse, she herself isn't that graceful, she isn't that judgmental, or, given that she is craving that D, maybe she ACTUALLY finds you physically attractive. Maybe you don't think you're a stud. Hell, maybe it's a temporary thing for her, fancying whatever your type/look is. Don't fight it, just enjoy.

Good luck and happy cummings.

 

[CatLvr]

Ok now that you have heard from the guys (all of whom are right, btw) here is some advice from the ladies section.

1. Do NOT let yourself cancel this time.

2. TALK to this girl. Unless she earns a living as a sex worker she is likely as inexperienced as you are. And even if she IS more "worldly" I promise you she has been "done over" by guy(s) who hopped on, got their jollies and hopped off just as quick, not giving two shits whether she enjoyed herself or not.

Here is your chance to prove you are NOT typical in a VERY good way. Before you guys get busy ask her if you can talk for a minute. Tell her you hope she isn't disappointed but you are not very experienced (don't worry, she will NOT be disappointed) and you want to make sure she enjoys herself, too, so to feel free to tell you what she needs to be satisfied.

Then when she starts "directing" don't freak out on her. I guarantee you at y'alls ages she's most likely not been satisfied with any experience she has had up to now. The fact that you are willing to SLOW DOWN and TRY to listen to what she needs to get off will earn you more points than any Macho Man act ever would.

3. And FINALLY ... RELAX AND ENJOY her company. If you focus on trying to please her it will help you relax and enjoy yourself. (Worked for me whenever I was wound up over some fella, anyway. And I learned a lot about pleasing men in the process. NOBODY is born knowing all this shit.)


I feel like it bears repeating -- Slow down, enjoy her company and enjoy yourself.

 

[Whale_bones]

A lot of women prefer a guy who takes it slow and isn't expecting specific things to happen. Be straightforward and let her know that you like her, your hesitation/worries aren't caused by her. I'm not saying to dump your life story on her (don't do that ) but you'd be surprised what other people are going through and can relate to.

And as the commenter above me says, if you're not sure what she wants/what the next step is, ask her! Showing that you're thinking about her desires as much as your own will be a major positive. Don't go over there expecting sex (unless she's actually said that's what she wants) just go with the flow and be open to whatever happens. Good luck, you got this

 

[NaturalBornNEET]

Her stepdad is home so today is probably a no go, didn't get a wink of sleep all night anyway so mixing benzos with sleep deprivation would've been a disaster.

Just a couple things before your big moment...
Maybe be weary that the Ativan could make you sleepy, so I guess do whatever you can to mitigate that risk. Be alert however works for you, try and time it right--worst case maybe you'll just get cozy together in bed and have a cuddle nap or something so it's not the end of the world.
Other thing is weed can make you horny but I don't think it's reliable for performing like a stallion or something, too hazy and goofy/derealizing for me at least. And yeah, alcohol dose response can be unpredictable, definitely don't mix with the benzo anyway of course.

Most importantly, keep in mind that sex is often overrated. You've probably heard that before but keep it in mind. Your first time is not likely to be better than your top 10 wanks thus far. A lot of it is all about how aroused you are and so on, there's a lot of factors. Yes the real thing is better than masturbation all else equal but not always.

I'm glad you've already reasoned yourself out of the need to "perform" already, that will help. She seems to like you so as you said, you kinda already got your wish. Given what you say about your social skills, maybe they aren't as bad as you imagine, other dudes are way worse, she herself isn't that graceful, she isn't that judgmental, or, given that she is craving that D, maybe she ACTUALLY finds you physically attractive. Maybe you don't think you're a stud. Hell, maybe it's a temporary thing for her, fancying whatever your type/look is. Don't fight it, just enjoy.

Good luck and happy cummings.

Wouldn't mind just napping with her tbh, sounds cozy, pillow talk has always been a more predominant fantasy for me than sex anyway. Weed definitely is far from ideal for this, it would probably relieve the anticipatory anxiety cuz I'd be too busy tripping but yeah being high around sober people makes me feel really silly, also experienced paranoia once too.

Ok now that you have heard from the guys (all of whom are right, btw) here is some advice from the ladies section.

1. Do NOT let yourself cancel this time.

2. TALK to this girl. Unless she earns a living as a sex worker she is likely as inexperienced as you are. And even if she IS more "worldly" I promise you she has been "done over" by guy(s) who hopped on, got their jollies and hopped off just as quick, not giving two shits whether she enjoyed herself or not.

Here is your chance to prove you are NOT typical in a VERY good way. Before you guys get busy ask her if you can talk for a minute. Tell her you hope she isn't disappointed but you are not very experienced (don't worry, she will NOT be disappointed) and you want to make sure she enjoys herself, too, so to feel free to tell you what she needs to be satisfied.

Then when she starts "directing" don't freak out on her. I guarantee you at y'alls ages she's most likely not been satisfied with any experience she has had up to now. The fact that you are willing to SLOW DOWN and TRY to listen to what she needs to get off will earn you more points than any Macho Man act ever would.

3. And FINALLY ... RELAX AND ENJOY her company. If you focus on trying to please her it will help you relax and enjoy yourself. (Worked for me whenever I was wound up over some fella, anyway. And I learned a lot about pleasing men in the process. NOBODY is born knowing all this shit.)


I feel like it bears repeating -- Slow down, enjoy her company and enjoy yourself.

Thank you, my minds been going blanker and blanker as the event draws nearer and nearer, so I think I'll just keep your advice in mind and follow it.

But unless this pill is able to do a complete 180 on my mood, I won't be enjoying it, that's why l I cancelled last time. Sure I could brave it, but intimacy isn't something you're supposed to brave like you're charging the front lines, it's something you're supposed to enjoy.

A lot of women prefer a guy who takes it slow and isn't expecting specific things to happen. Be straightforward and let her know that you like her, your hesitation/worries aren't caused by her. I'm not saying to dump your life story on her (don't do that ) but you'd be surprised what other people are going through and can relate to.

And as the commenter above me says, if you're not sure what she wants/what the next step is, ask her! Showing that you're thinking about her desires as much as your own will be a major positive. Don't go over there expecting sex (unless she's actually said that's what she wants) just go with the flow and be open to whatever happens. Good luck, you got this

I've definitely been taking it slow, any slower and she'll probably get bored of me. I can attest to the fact that being straightforward about my intentions so far has been successful, we're both pretty blunt which kinda works well for both of us.

 

[deadbidaylight]

I don't think it would be out of line at all to express your fear/apprehension to her about being physical. I'm sure you've at least told her that you are a virgin? As a woman myself, I can promise you that we appreciate honesty. Telling her how you feel about moving forward physically might alleviate a lot of the anxiety you're feeling.

There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with taking things slow. I repeat: NOTHING WRONG. Establishing a connection with someone before jumping into bed is a virtue that should be admired. And it also gives a different kind of connection when the act finally does happen. At that point, it's more about closeness and intimacy than whether or not you are able to perform/please her. Focusing on whether or not you're a stallion your first time is obviously going to cause a bunch of anxiety. If you establish a good solid connection before this, that won't matter. I promise you that.

Being satisfied with just making out with her is a great first step. It's showing that you're not afraid of physical contact completely. I would explain to her that you're not ready to go all the way yet but you're willing to make steps towards that at a pace that's comfortable for both of you. Going there WITHOUT any expectations of sex will alleviate a lot of your worries.

Communication here is key. Expressing your feelings and comfort level is important. I'd say, instead of randomly cancelling, try your luck with open honesty with her. She'll either understand, which puts you in a great position moving forward comfortably, or she'll lose interest, which says a lot about her. You don't want a hoe anyway. Especially in your circumstances.

You seem like a person who has intense feelings and deeply cares. This is a solid foundation of a respectable potential partner. Don't look at yourself as an incel. It's a horrible label to put on yourself. You are someone who is inexperienced, and everyone starts where you are right now. Maybe you're just starting later in life, and that's perfectly okay. Don't sell yourself short. Don't put so much pressure on yourself. I think that's the biggest problem I'm seeing here. Comfort level goes both ways. It doesn't matter if you're male or female.

Please, just be honest with her and see what happens.

 

[SchrodingerIsDed]

There's nothing better than being with a woman, mate. It's okay to let your walls come down. Even if it hurts, it will feel good, too. Sex can relieve anxiety, as well.

Benzos are pretty effective at getting rid of anxiety. That's my issue. Benzos completely cure me. If they didn't have the whole addiction issue I'd be able to stay alive myself. But they should also be used sparingly because i've read its a worse addiction than heroin or alcohol.

Good luck mate. If you get past the anxiety to connect with her on a real level that will open up the door and you won't have to be so scared anymore at least not of her and not of that situation. If you don't go through the door you'll never see what's on the other side: and it can be a lot of beauty.

 

[NonEssential]

Anxiety is a terrible thing, so I understand the feeling to back out. Still, I hope you can fight past it and experience something that some of us never will.

 

[NaturalBornNEET]

I don't think it would be out of line at all to express your fear/apprehension to her about being physical. I'm sure you've at least told her that you are a virgin? As a woman myself, I can promise you that we appreciate honesty. Telling her how you feel about moving forward physically might alleviate a lot of the anxiety you're feeling.

There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with taking things slow. I repeat: NOTHING WRONG. Establishing a connection with someone before jumping into bed is a virtue that should be admired. And it also gives a different kind of connection when the act finally does happen. At that point, it's more about closeness and intimacy than whether or not you are able to perform/please her. Focusing on whether or not you're a stallion your first time is obviously going to cause a bunch of anxiety. If you establish a good solid connection before this, that won't matter. I promise you that.

Being satisfied with just making out with her is a great first step. It's showing that you're not afraid of physical contact completely. I would explain to her that you're not ready to go all the way yet but you're willing to make steps towards that at a pace that's comfortable for both of you. Going there WITHOUT any expectations of sex will alleviate a lot of your worries.

Communication here is key. Expressing your feelings and comfort level is important. I'd say, instead of randomly cancelling, try your luck with open honesty with her. She'll either understand, which puts you in a great position moving forward comfortably, or she'll lose interest, which says a lot about her. You don't want a hoe anyway. Especially in your circumstances.

You seem like a person who has intense feelings and deeply cares. This is a solid foundation of a respectable potential partner. Don't look at yourself as an incel. It's a horrible label to put on yourself. You are someone who is inexperienced, and everyone starts where you are right now. Maybe you're just starting later in life, and that's perfectly okay. Don't sell yourself short. Don't put so much pressure on yourself. I think that's the biggest problem I'm seeing here. Comfort level goes both ways. It doesn't matter if you're male or female.

Please, just be honest with her and see what happens.

Maybe I'm not as bad at interpersonal relationships as I thought. One of the first things I told her when we started discussing intimacy was that I was a virgin so I could find out if that would be a dealbreaker for her (like many on the internet like to claim). At the onset she was very empathetic and understanding, even before I told her of my nerves, said she didn't want to put pressure on me and wanted most of all for us to chill with each other. But I'm afraid of her getting bored now, it's been postponed twice so I'm thinking I need to do something different to keep her interested even if it's just changing it from her place to mine or taking her out first. I also think I might be better off gritting my teeth and just putting on a front of confidence and swag even if obviously fake. Cuz even if this benzo helps my default vibe is just very chill but low energy and melancholic.

There's nothing better than being with a woman, mate. It's okay to let your walls come down. Even if it hurts, it will feel good, too. Sex can relieve anxiety, as well.

Benzos are pretty effective at getting rid of anxiety. That's my issue. Benzos completely cure me. If they didn't have the whole addiction issue I'd be able to stay alive myself. But they should also be used sparingly because i've read its a worse addiction than heroin or alcohol.

Good luck mate. If you get past the anxiety to connect with her on a real level that will open up the door and you won't have to be so scared anymore at least not of her and not of that situation. If you don't go through the door you'll never see what's on the other side: and it can be a lot of beauty.

There really isn't, it's unbelievable what having her simply appear in my life has done for my mental and general health. After getting her number I started applying for jobs the following day and got my first paid permanent job within the week. After our first date I a few days later, without much thinking about it, got in contact with my old school friends and we've started going out semi regularly.

 

[deadbidaylight]

The fact that you've already been honest with her about your virginity is such great news. I imagine that's a huge hurdle for men to overcome. Her reaction was empathetic then I don't think you have too much to worry about. I really feel like you're putting undue pressure on yourself.

I can't stress this enough: BE YOURSELF. Don't try and overcompensate by putting on false swag. Be confident in yourself but don't overdo it. This girl is obviously into you for who you are so just be genuine. I think going out on another date is a great idea.

Also, I'm really glad to hear that you've stepped out of your comfort zone by getting a job and hanging with your old friends again. There really is a lot of great things in life when you are able to take risks and open yourself up