Finding Peace Before Death?

[kane]

Generally speaking, I don't find ideas about hell particularly convincing. All that fiery torment and torture stuff seems a bit unnecessary. But I do fear my consciousness continuing in some form beyond death. Becoming trapped with the dissatisfaction and regrets that have plagued my life, with no ability to escape or change. Like some kind of eternal echo of who I am now.

I feel like I should be doing something toward finding a greater state of mental peace while I'm still alive, so that there's less to potentially torment me beyond death. But I'm not really sure what form that would take. I definitely don't think I should be doing what most people do in search of fulfilment - having children, starting a family. That's a regret I'm just going to have to carry. I'm also extremely limited in my capacity for any kind of romantic connection. So that's going to be another huge regret.

I don't think there's much I can do to make amends to those I've wronged in the past. So that guilt is going to weigh on me. In some ways I'm a better person now, but I think I've just about exhausted therapy as a route to self-improvement. My demons aren't going anywhere. There might be more I could do to help others in future, though right now I'm struggling to just keep myself afloat. I don't have the resources or the conviction to be of much use to others.

Without traditionally religious ideas of redemption, it's hard to know what to do. I don't believe in confession, or a god that will save me. I would just like to feel a greater sense of peace before I die - to feel ok with reality as it is. For the fear, and the craving, and the terrible sense of wrongness to quiet down a bit.

 

[tardis]

I'm sorry for the cliche but I find meditation actually helps bring peace but it's very temporary.

 

[everydayiloveyou]

What would it take for you to feel satisfied with things? Does that require any big changes in your life, or in the world?

I think everyone feels this way because ultimately it's unnatural to *want* to die. We are organisms and every living thing is compelled to live, reproduce, and then die for the sake of their species. So suicidal ideation goes against that and it probably hits some instinctual nerve somewhere.

If you don't feel ready now, maybe it's not your time yet. If you've hurt people before, why don't you apologize? Even if they don't respond, it will be relieving for you and that's the important part. They might even forgive you or assure you that it didn't hurt them all that much.

Everyone is gonna die with regrets and loose ends. It's up to us to decide how we handle that. Some people live as carefree as they can so that they can stop building up more things to be regretful about. Others learn to accept it and move on. And still others use religion, confession, and all sorts of other methods. Dying isn't the answer to that and it won't fix anything that's happening to you in life, so we all gotta decide whether it's worth it to go with loose ends or not.

 

[Luchs]

Generally speaking, I don't find ideas about hell particularly convincing. All that fiery torment and torture stuff seems a bit unnecessary. But I do fear my consciousness continuing in some form beyond death. Becoming trapped with the dissatisfaction and regrets that have plagued my life, with no ability to escape or change. Like some kind of eternal echo of who I am now.

I feel like I should be doing something toward finding a greater state of mental peace while I'm still alive, so that there's less to potentially torment me beyond death. But I'm not really sure what form that would take. I definitely don't think I should be doing what most people do in search of fulfilment - having children, starting a family. That's a regret I'm just going to have to carry. I'm also extremely limited in my capacity for any kind of romantic connection. So that's going to be another huge regret.

I don't think there's much I can do to make amends to those I've wronged in the past. So that guilt is going to weigh on me. In some ways I'm a better person now, but I think I've just about exhausted therapy as a route to self-improvement. My demons aren't going anywhere. There might be more I could do to help others in future, though right now I'm struggling to just keep myself afloat. I don't have the resources or the conviction to be of much use to others.

Without traditionally religious ideas of redemption, it's hard to know what to do. I don't believe in confession, or a god that will save me. I would just like to feel a greater sense of peace before I die - to feel ok with reality as it is. For the fear, and the craving, and the terrible sense of wrongness to quiet down a bit.

If I go to hell, I deserve it, I can say that as a Christian. The second most likely thing to me seems to be that since you came from nothing and go to nothing you'll come again. Neither of these provide me with much disquiet.

 

[BeyondGoodNEvil]

you shouldnt worry about the afterlife just find peace in this life
afterlife makes no sense to me at all.why would their be more to life after death.dosent that defeat the meaning of life.and say heaven and hell exist what can we do.if a god exist it wouldnt gamble, all faiths would have been determined.
what im saying is dont dwell on this thoughts, thinking about it wont change anything,just accept your reality and you'll will truly find peace.

 

[LostSoul1609]

Don't take me for a fanatic but I feel like Buddhism is what comes nearer to these kind of problems and is most appliable when looking for inner peace. In a way refusing desire and cravings helps detaching from life and suffering. Meditation helps as other people have said.
Other than that I don't think you should feel guilty for not wanting a family or a partner, everyone is different in its own way, you could have a wonderful life your way if you could reject these norms. Why would you regret not living a life you wouldn't feel happy living?
As far as forgiving goes, be the God of yourself and try to forgive yourself.
Hope you find peace

 

[FuneralCry]

For me, as long as I am conscious and aware, I will never feel at peace. To me feeling at peace is unachievable, as there is no escape from myself. I hope to find peace in death, as I believe there is no afterlife or anything after this.

 

[kane]

What would it take for you to feel satisfied with things? Does that require any big changes in your life, or in the world?

I think everyone feels this way because ultimately it's unnatural to *want* to die. We are organisms and every living thing is compelled to live, reproduce, and then die for the sake of their species. So suicidal ideation goes against that and it probably hits some instinctual nerve somewhere.

If you don't feel ready now, maybe it's not your time yet. If you've hurt people before, why don't you apologize? Even if they don't respond, it will be relieving for you and that's the important part. They might even forgive you or assure you that it didn't hurt them all that much.

Everyone is gonna die with regrets and loose ends. It's up to us to decide how we handle that. Some people live as carefree as they can so that they can stop building up more things to be regretful about. Others learn to accept it and move on. And still others use religion, confession, and all sorts of other methods. Dying isn't the answer to that and it won't fix anything that's happening to you in life, so we all gotta decide whether it's worth it to go with loose ends or not.

It's very hard to imagine feeling satisfied. Possibly it's more about changes in perspective than changes in the world or my life. It's probably not my time yet, and I don't think I'll go soon, but I still feel like I should be preparing. Most of those I've wronged the most I can't contact.

Other than that I don't think you should feel guilty for not wanting a family or a partner, everyone is different in its own way, you could have a wonderful life your way if you could reject these norms. Why would you regret not living a life you wouldn't feel happy living?

It's not that I don't want them and feel guilty - it's that part of me does want them but I think it would be wrong to involve others in my issues. So that's where the regret comes from.

 

[LostSoul1609]

It's very hard to imagine feeling satisfied. Possibly it's more about changes in perspective than changes in the world or my life. It's probably not my time yet, and I don't think I'll go soon, but I still feel like I should be preparing. Most of those I've wronged the most I can't contact.

It's not that I don't want them and feel guilty - it's that part of me does want them but I think it would be wrong to involve others in my issues. So that's where the regret comes from.

But you know issues can be solved with work. Why do you think anyone would be weighted down by being your partner? Isn't it their choice? And isn't learning to deal with your SO's problems and past also part of being in a relationship?
Could this be just a way of avoiding the problem?

 

[kane]

But you know issues can be solved with work. Why do you think anyone would be weighted down by being your partner? Isn't it their choice? And isn't learning to deal with your SO's problems and past also part of being in a relationship?
Could this be just a way of avoiding the problem?

I think some issues just can't be solved - I do think I've tried. There are things I've done and things that I am that I can't be honest about with a partner. So it wouldn't be fair to involve myself with anyone. And realistically, I couldn't expect anyone to accept those things, even if I could risk telling them. Some things just aren't tolerable.