Finally!

[The Ferryman]

Jesus fucking christ, it's finally over. We were finally able to afford the materials for the night-night method and frankly, the feeling is pure euphoria. We've been out of jobs for MONTHS and were lucky enough to get some money from our cousin this Christmas (had some from grandparents too but we promised to save what they gave us). It was looking impossible, like we'd never get the funds to afford anything and it's just, peaceful knowing we actually do have a chance, that we do have access to something, we've been meaning to celebrate but can't really go, "Guys guys! We finally got money to kill ourself!" to our friends hah- but man, I guess waiting was worth it, it feels a bit fucked up to be using a gift like this but it'll bring more happiness then she'll ever know. We've been curious though, if we wanted it, would there ever be any help for us? The way we think is very black and white and we have 0 will to continue on if the world is truly like this, it feels no matter how big accomplishments may be it would never give a feeling of fulfillment. Our nature makes us crave more and more out of life but with no repayment, I just can't see actively getting help if we're stuck like this. We've seen people with our mindset but never an out for them, never a solution that isn't just, this. It feels like there would never be hope for us to exist in this world if we could never truly be happy. I have no idea how normal people can continue on, it feels pointless in the end, but we have a beautiful permanent fix and we couldn't be happier.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand why you would all feel so relieved to have a way to permanently escape from all the suffering, I hope you all find the freedom you search for.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I can relate to feeling relief about having a way out. I felt/ feel like that too- although I'm still nervous about the CTB process itself.

As for whether there's any help out there for you- that's probably one for the 'Recovery Section.' I'm making the assumption here that you have DID with the references to 'us'? So- if you wanted specific ideas with regards to that- maybe you could mention it on the Recovery Board. All the best to you- whatever you decide to do.

 

[The Ferryman]

I can relate to feeling relief about having a way out. I felt/ feel like that too- although I'm still nervous about the CTB process itself.

As for whether there's any help out there for you- that's probably one for the 'Recovery Section.' I'm making the assumption here that you have DID with the references to 'us'? So- if you wanted specific ideas with regards to that- maybe you could mention it on the Recovery Board. All the best to you- whatever you decide to do.

Sorry for the super late reply... was on vacation for a long time with family. The hypothetical of help is more just a thought if there is any way for anybody like us to feel any better, just writing about it because it really seems hopeless to find any sort of long lived "happiness" with how dull everything is. Don't have DID though, just a typing quirk from a character we like, thank you for your help though, hope you find peace as well!