the only frustrating thing to me is i need to wait to get paid (so a few days from now) and then figure out how to buy bitcoins. i wish i could do it today. i'm considering my other options so i can leave today.
a few past attempts with my thoughts:
i've tried overdosing on stuff around the house before and that was terrifying + not effective. i should have done research before doing this and then i would have known better.
i've tried using a plastic bag with something tied around my neck. i should have taken drugs first because this was horrible and scary. not a good way to die.
i've tried shooting myself and that was horrible. i didn't plan and didn't even know the safety was on. i don't think i could bring myself to try this ever again.
i'm thinking of trying partial suspension hanging. i have a bunch of scarves and something in mind to hang from. i'm just not sure this is how i want to go.
something that sticks out to me is slitting my throat. i figure it's easier than trying to bleed out for my wrists. i've self-harmed for years so this gets bonus points for being somewhat familiar to me already. not sure how hard this would be though? doesn't seem like this is a popular method lol and i know i probably won't be successful if i slit my wrists.
i'm really going over my options rn. heroin/fent is how i ideally want to go if i can wait, but i'm thinking hard if i want to or not. i have sep 17th as my cut off date since the 17th is my birthday... it's just so far away.
thanks for reading
Don't act out of desperation. An attempt that isn't thought out and planned is rarely fatal and usually leaves people worse off than they already were. Thousands of people fail suicide attempts every year and are left with irreversible damage to their bodies.
If you're serious about it then you need to find something easily accessible and map it out... You can't just take a scarf and tie it around your neck and say hopefully this works. When I'm ready, I'm dying. That's it. No way around it. The odds of me surviving are for sure in the 1% region. And out of mercy they'd put me down.
If you want to make a gesture there are ways of doing it safely without risking death. It sounds like a lot of people want a quick escape on here but don't realize that a rushed decision on suicide can be life changing if you survive. For every successful suicide there are 19 failures or something like that. It's just not worth the risk if you aren't 110% sure you will perish.
