Finally found something I was good at.

[hockeymum9999]

I've been struggling with getting back to be a veterinarian after 11 years away from it and I thought the clinic I was working at was great. However, any chats I have with the office manager are about everything I need to improve on and nothing about what I am doing right. My physical health is not great as my teeth are literally falling out of my head as I get older and I have a lot of dental work that needs to be done. Although I've always battled depression, I've never had this much anxiety since starting back to work as a vet. I am in a marriage of more than 24 years with three beautiful children that are older now and more independent. My husband hasn't been intimate with me for over 7 years and now we sleep in separate areas of the house. We were planning on separating but the housing market is horrible right now. Thus, we made the decision to stay together for financial reasons.

So it finally dawned on me today that I am so good at failing. I get so sick and tired of people telling me that things will get better, because they're not. It has been 10 years since I first started wanting to ctb and I pray that I won't fail at that.

Does anyone else feel that way?

 

[soonatpeace777888]

It's hard to take the "it gets better" stuff seriously the older you get. Your body is worse in every way from year to year but somehow mental issues you've had for years are going to vanish?

 

[nadia225]

I've been struggling with getting back to be a veterinarian after 11 years away from it and I thought the clinic I was working at was great. However, any chats I have with the office manager are about everything I need to improve on and nothing about what I am doing right. My physical health is not great as my teeth are literally falling out of my head as I get older and I have a lot of dental work that needs to be done. Although I've always battled depression, I've never had this much anxiety since starting back to work as a vet. I am in a marriage of more than 24 years with three beautiful children that are older now and more independent. My husband hasn't been intimate with me for over 7 years and now we sleep in separate areas of the house. We were planning on separating but the housing market is horrible right now. Thus, we made the decision to stay together for financial reasons.

So it finally dawned on me today that I am so good at failing. I get so sick and tired of people telling me that things will get better, because they're not. It has been 10 years since I first started wanting to ctb and I pray that I won't fail at that.

Does anyone else feel that way?

I definitely feel where you are coming from, I deeply dislike that saying everything is going to get better because it simply isn't true things don't just magically go away and nothing is going to get better if there is isn't a plan to recognize what is causing the pain in the first place so ultimately it ends up getting worse. To a me unless you giving an actually plan to heal from the sorrows that lie deep within which is a solution not just some ignore it overcome it cliche bullshit the dont even bother to speak because you obviously never felt deep pain before that you couldn't ignore. Recently my mom told me to just pray to god like wtf how is that going to help whatsoever and how's that been working out for you? The blind can't lead the blind and majority of humans are extremely blind so it is going to be very hard to find comfort in any of those disingenuous words.

 

[DeathSleep]

I'm good at failing too. And things definitely do not always get better. It can always get worse. For some reason it's a lot easier for me to make things worse than better.

 

[bluebus]

I'm good at failing too. And things definitely do not always get better. It can always get worse. For some reason it's a lot easier for me to make things worse than better.

I feel this way too. Wishing you the best,

 

[hockeymum9999]

It's hard to take the "it gets better" stuff seriously the older you get. Your body is worse in every way from year to year but somehow mental issues you've had for years are going to vanish?

The older I get the worse my mental health becomes. I have gotten good at putting a mask on for everyone around me. They cannot see the loneliness or emptiness I feel inside.

I am thankful to have a place where I can actually talk about my feelings without judgement.

 

[spinningmyself]

This is about the same kind of stuff I am dealing with, except I am sure I have some health problems along with the mental health problems. I really don't like it when employers seem to go with like negative kind of training and no positive. Try not to take it to heart some people are just not good at being management or have people working for them. I hope whatever you do goes well.

 

[ultrasharpy123456]

I absolutely feel the same way. Truthfully, I was destined to fail.

 

[hockeymum9999]

I go back and forth. I have the privacy to ctb this weekend but am not in the right mindset to make a decision either way.

 

[HighFlight]

I can relate to many of your problems - meeting professsional expectations, no intimacy from spouse. But I also know that if you made it through vet school, you're good at other things besides failing. And it's unfortunate to hear about losing one like this. They have been forced to close vet practices in my area due to too few veterinarians.

I wish you all the best on your journey and hope you can find some peace along the way.

 

[didntmeantohauntyou]

I go back and forth. I have the privacy to ctb this weekend but am not in the right mindset to make a decision either way.

Yea you're right not to make any decisions when ur not thinking about ctb rationally, we're here for you

 

[tpboy]

I've been struggling with getting back to be a veterinarian after 11 years away from it.

I guess you are aware of the high suicide rates of vets?