Final draft of suicide note?

[MrSpaghetti]

Dear Family and Friends,

As I put pen to paper, I do so with a heavy heart, aware that my actions may be met with confusion and my word's sorrow. The decision I've made weighs on me deeply, and I want to extend my most sincere apologies for any pain it may cause you.

Throughout the years, your love, support, and unwavering friendship have meant everything to me. The memories we've created together are treasures I will forever hold close to my heart. It's because of the profound respect and love I have for each of you that I feel compelled to explain my actions.

I've made a choice that might be seen as selfish and may disappoint or hurt you. Please understand that I never intended to cause you pain. I must emphasize that this decision is mine and mine alone. It is not a reflection of any perceived flaws in you or our relationships. Instead, it is a reflection of my own struggles and uncertainties, ones that I have grappled with for a long time.

After almost 20 years I'm afraid I've lost my battle with depression. My thoughts have become too much to bear while leaning on those closest to me. I understand if my actions seem like a betrayal, and for that, I am deeply sorry. My hope is that, with time, you may find it in your hearts to forgive me, even if you cannot fully comprehend the reasons behind my decision.

Our time together has been filled with laughter, love, and shared moments that I will always cherish.

As I walk this final, daunting path, know that I hope you'll celebrate the life I've lived, rather than mourn my absence.

With heartfelt apologies and a heavy heart,
[MrSpaghetti]

 

[hmskms]

id just delete it tbh. if they arent keeping me on this planet, theyre not worth even a few words.

 

[MrSpaghetti]

id just delete it tbh. if they arent keeping me on this planet, theyre not worth even a few words.

I cant do that, its not like I want to die. I just don't want to feel this way anymore, and unfortunately I feel like cbt is the only way I can do that. I'm going to miss all of them deeply

 

[nom de guerre]

May I know how do you plan on passing this to them? If you were to leave a physical note, and if your suicide would be apparent and thus police would be called to the scene, there's a high likelihood it would not reach the people you intended it for.

I understand that we might feel that we need to explain why we're leaving, especially if these people are close to our heart and if the love you have for them is reciprocated, but I hope you know that we don't owe anyone any explanation.

Hope it's okay for me to share my thoughts on this. I wish you find peace, no matter which way you choose it to be.

Fwiw, i dont think it's selfish if someone is left with no alternative, and I don't think anyone is owed an apology for your desperation. It's not your fault.

 

[bluebus]

That is a really beautiful letter. It's just the right length (not too wordy/ rambling) and it says everything in such simples concise words. I would say there's noting I would change, but obviously this is a very personal thing so I would say, is there anything that you feel you're leaving out? Is there anything else you want to say? But those are personal questions that can't be answered by anyone other than you. Otherwise I think it's great.
I'm sorry that you've reached this point and that you've suffered so much. I really wish you all the best, in whatever you do, and I hope you can find peace. All the best, bb

 

[undynee]

I cant do that, its not like I want to die. I just don't want to feel this way anymore, and unfortunately I feel like cbt is the only way I can do that. I'm going to miss all of them deeply

If you do not want to and are filled with uncertainty and confusion, maybe you should directly share how you feel instead with those same loved ones

when I had my experience back a few months fortunately in my case I had survived the damage I had caused to myself to surprisingly find out that my family had alot to share with me that ended up becoming very helpful and ended up strongly leading me to recovery and working on myself to motivate myself to find reasons to keep the motion going for myself

I am not intending to discourage you by any means but simply only suggesting that it could be worth a shot to speak to them as in your paragraphs you seem to hold them in your heart very dearly

 

[MrSpaghetti]

May I know how do you plan on passing this to them? If you were to leave a physical note, and if your suicide would be apparent and thus police would be called to the scene, there's a high likelihood it would not reach the people you intended it for.

I have a 4 to 5 hour window at my house where I know no one will be awake to stop my attempt, so I plan scheduling a text to be sent out hours after I begin the process.

Hope it's okay for me to share my thoughts on this. I wish you find peace, no matter which way you choose it to be.

Its perfectly fine, and I appreciate your kind words.

If you do not want to and are filled with uncertainty and confusion, maybe you should directly share how you feel instead with those same loved ones

when I had my experience back a few months fortunately in my case I had survived the damage I had caused to myself to surprisingly find out that my family had alot to share with me that ended up becoming very helpful and ended up strongly leading me to recovery and working on myself to motivate myself to find reasons to keep the motion going for myself

I've tried in the past, ever since my first attempt almost two decades ago each time I attempted or drunkenly let it slip that I still have these thoughts sometimes, I was understandable taken to a crisis center. I never really felt like they helped me the older I got, and same goes for therapy unfortunately.

I am not intending to discourage you by any means but simply only suggesting that it could be worth a shot to speak to them as in your paragraphs you seem to hold them in your heart very dearly

I appreciate your suggestion and will keep it in mind, that being said I feel like I've exhausted every resource I've had available to feel better and now this is my only option.

 

[nom de guerre]

I can see that you've put a lot of thoughts in this, and it reads beautifully. I can feel you treasure people in your life dearly :)

 

[FuneralCry]

I think your note is well written, to me it's a good idea leaving a note as it could act as a form of closure for those left behind and mean they are less likely to be left with as many unanswered questions. But anyway I wish you the best with your plans.

 

[hockeymum9999]

I started writing letters to individual family members years ago and have recently started updating them.

I love the simplicity and openness of your letter. Good luck when you ctb and I pray you find peace.