Venting Fighting that damn SI

[abacusph]

New here and so happy to find you guys. Set off to fulfil my plan of jumping in a remote area last week and just could not do it. Went back the next day, same thing. I always thought it was the perfect method because technically you don't have to withstand any discomfort but apparently the SI is real. I've now read up about SN, got very excited, only to find out it's virtually impossible in Aus.

I've made a set up for partial in my house because I like the idea of just being able to do it when the urge is strongest, unlike driving hours out to the jump site. But if I can't jump, I can't imagine I'll be able to withstand that. I've got booze, uppers and downers on hand which I hope helps, although I hate the idea of friends having to find my body. I'm 100% committed to this, I've been at peace with ending it for so long, why can't I make it happen?

 

[FuneralCry]

I just believe that after all suicide really isn't straightforward, in fact it's so unnecessarily difficult to me, I find it so cruel how one has to struggle so much to leave this world, we deserve the option to leave in peace. But anyway I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for, best wishes.

 

[abacusph]

If I don't update, it went well x

 

[abacusph]

Well! Failed with the partial but it was much easier than I thought. Managed to lose consciousness but came to pretty quickly, I think I positioned myself too low and ended up slumping backwards (I'm going over the door handle method). Tried again a few times but couldn't get the sweet spot on the neck just right. Gonna try a thicker rope today, it's my last day before someone will check in on me and now I have rope burn around my neck. Wish me luck!

 

[Pomegranate]

Well! Failed with the partial but it was much easier than I thought. Managed to lose consciousness but came to pretty quickly, I think I positioned myself too low and ended up slumping backwards (I'm going over the door handle method). Tried again a few times but couldn't get the sweet spot on the neck just right. Gonna try a thicker rope today, it's my last day before someone will check in on me and now I have rope burn around my neck. Wish me luck!

How much did the partial hurt before losing consciousness?

 

[montimoo]

How much did the partial hurt before losing consciousness?

I'm not them but I've tried partial and in my personal opinion it wasn't really painful for me