Life_and_Death
Do what's best for you 🕯️ Sometimes I'm stressed
- Jul 1, 2020
- 6,827
starting tomorrow im going to be spending about a week at the hospital. not for me, im just the "comfort person" hanging out. so im not going to be at my house that has my comfort foods ect.
i tried to do the right thing by planning it out. im bringing grab snacks but for my meal i dont have many options. i dont have a driver license so i cant go anywhere and everything is way out of walking distance, especially for me. so just trying to get food would have the total opposite effect.
so im mostly stuck to what the hospital has to offer, which is fine except.....
like i said, i tried to do the right thing and plan it out but this is where it went wrong.......
we went up to the cafeteria so i can get comfortable. the way one might if they have social anxiety 'see, its not that scary'.
at first i was like eeeehhhhh idk.......but the door was wide open, youd think if it was docs only it would be in a more private spot or at least have the doors closed where they all have their cards. and then im greeted by a little sign that says "everyone welcome" well...why would they tell the docs that and if its just for docs then thats not everyone, this place must be for me.
but then i notice this one table of docs off to my right and this one doc THAT WAS LOOKING AT ME.....and it took everything to not cry..and im tearing up now typing this........why were you the only one paying that much attention to me..? was i right..do i not belong here? are you being sexual and should lose your job? what the hell was that about!!!?
and the next time i have to go up there ill be alone ......
and i cant not because my anorexia will have a total sh!tfit and ill start being sick and throwing up. im suppose to be the comfort person..i cant be sick too....
and i have no idea what to do and the tears are escaping.........
i tried to do the right thing by planning it out. im bringing grab snacks but for my meal i dont have many options. i dont have a driver license so i cant go anywhere and everything is way out of walking distance, especially for me. so just trying to get food would have the total opposite effect.
so im mostly stuck to what the hospital has to offer, which is fine except.....
like i said, i tried to do the right thing and plan it out but this is where it went wrong.......
we went up to the cafeteria so i can get comfortable. the way one might if they have social anxiety 'see, its not that scary'.
at first i was like eeeehhhhh idk.......but the door was wide open, youd think if it was docs only it would be in a more private spot or at least have the doors closed where they all have their cards. and then im greeted by a little sign that says "everyone welcome" well...why would they tell the docs that and if its just for docs then thats not everyone, this place must be for me.
but then i notice this one table of docs off to my right and this one doc THAT WAS LOOKING AT ME.....and it took everything to not cry..and im tearing up now typing this........why were you the only one paying that much attention to me..? was i right..do i not belong here? are you being sexual and should lose your job? what the hell was that about!!!?
and the next time i have to go up there ill be alone ......
and i cant not because my anorexia will have a total sh!tfit and ill start being sick and throwing up. im suppose to be the comfort person..i cant be sick too....
and i have no idea what to do and the tears are escaping.........
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