ב''ה,
Wild story, but this is what I mean about the "something is wrong" feeling penetrating the opiate/opiate haze.
Never actually fiddled with this stuff so it's actually even more of a wild ride because there's no time to be nodding off before the reality of the excess (and respiratory depression) kicks in if OD?
Not that I would specifically recommend it or not but this as well as the regulatory environment is why hospice protocol is or at least used to be crazy amounts of benzos on top of and prior to ramping up the opiates to 'serum replacing' amounts, it's anesthesia plus hopefully more anesthesia, the cheapest and most medically excusable way.
Rather sorry to hear it's particularly dysphoric, while my assumption has been that if one is doing this with intent, the idea would be to get to a 'pleasant' scenario of dosage and then push it further in the same 'session' as apparently would not be pleasant all at once.. or if someone seeking release from existence can somehow get all the benzos or Ambien or whatnot and still manage to administer all this..
If you're making claims, nausea and itchiness as well or does the drowning kick in too fast to notice even that / fent is sufficiently different that way?