Discussion Fellow trans people?

[InaudibleEcho]

So I'm transgender. Pretty obvious from the title. I was just wondering how other trans people who want to CTB feel about the current…climate. I've seen plenty of people mock out suicide rate and it almost makes me feel like I'm not allowed to CTB or else I'm "letting them win". I'm also horrified of my deadname being on my tombstone or being remembered as a girl. does anyone else feel the same way? Have you gotten over it? Or has transphobia only made your desire to CTB stronger?

 

[offbalance]

I feel similarly. I don't want to even go out in public until I pass/get top surgery if I were to transition. (Also ftm) wouldn't want to go out in public with a man voice but also big boobs. Idk I've kind of been purposely not transitioning just so it makes it easier for me to CTB. But I'm kind of stuck because what if transitioning really does make me wanna CTB less? Idk. I don't like life either way even if I were born cis

But if you can survive out of spite more power to you. I don't personally care anymore because they're unintelligent people anyway and I don't want to suffer just to spite them.

 

[garbagekan]

So I'm transgender. Pretty obvious from the title. I was just wondering how other trans people who want to CTB feel about the current…climate. I've seen plenty of people mock out suicide rate and it almost makes me feel like I'm not allowed to CTB or else I'm "letting them win". I'm also horrified of my deadname being on my tombstone or being remembered as a girl. does anyone else feel the same way? Have you gotten over it? Or has transphobia only made your desire to CTB stronger?

i am:) its actually one of the reasons i want to ctb. i havent came out because of how much id have to deal with and i have already wanted to ctb my whole life. i dont really care what im remembered as even if its not really me because ill be dead.

i am:) its actually one of the reasons i want to ctb. i havent came out because of how much id have to deal with and i have already wanted to ctb my whole life. i dont really care what im remembered as even if its not really me because ill be dead.

im also ftm forgot to add lol.

 

[The Eeyorish One]

For me it's made me have a stronger desire to ctb, though I'm currently in an ok place. It's tough though, especially since I don't pass at all, I just boymode constantly so other people hopefully won't feel too uncomfortable unless they notice something's off. I understand not wanting to ctb due to "letting them win" and that can be a decent motivation for some but for me it doesn't matter. If I ever ctb, I'll be gone. It won't matter what anyone says or does to me at that point.

Honestly, I've been trying my best to bury my head in the sand on trans issues. It's just too hard hearing the constant stories coming out of certain states. I've been lucky to just kind of stay in the house and not deal with anyone so I don't really have to worry very often.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm also horrified of my deadname being on my tombstone

I'm sorry what you have to go through. There's no need to be horrified of your name on a tombstone you can write in your last will that you want to be cremated and the ashes should be thrown into the winds, dunno whether that is possible in your country or not, but there are ways not to have a tombstone or grave at all. I wish you all the best!

 

[currentchrysalis]

im ftm, been out for over 6 years started hrt 5 months ago and everyday i feel like just my walking around is enough to tighten my noose .. my family has always claimed to be supportive, but either completely ignore me or when they do speak about it can never refrain from making snide remarks and disguising it as a "well-meaning" joke or "just their opinion"
my mother mentioned my mood and asked how i could still possibly be depressed when i'm "getting everything i wanted" referring to my hrt as if that was my cure-all for everything that has happened in my life, even though i feel like no matter what gender affirming actions i go through, i'll never be truly satisfied because i missed out on growing up and developing like a male

the current climate is horrendous, like you said, suicide rates are constantly used as leverage on both sides and i would hate for you or i or any of us to be just another name on the stat sheet, but it seems inescapable

i guess the positive thing to note is that there is folks on our side fighting for us, some states that have lost rights have gained back some of them back, the laws that are being passed are only making it harder for us, not impossible, we've been around for hundreds of years, we've made it through everything thrown our way
if that can offer any solace, let it, i know it seems cheap, and i'm sorry for that, but i feel like it's nice to hear a positive anecdote about it because all there is otherwise is shit

 

[meowingnomore]

if you can find the drive and determination to keep going in a transphobic world, that's an amazing thing, no matter where that drive is coming from. i used to wanna live just to spite them too, but honestly i feel like the best win over them is to not let them matter to you at all. not caring about what they say to you and letting it influence you. that could lead you to wanna live in the world regardless of what they say, or it could make you wanna go out on ur own terms and not let them be a decider in any of it. either way they don't win as long as you make the decision you want to make.