_Minsk
death: the cure for life
- Dec 9, 2019
- 1,109
i guess its all the crap i have to deal with. i feel this intense load of anger inside me, my body tingles everywhere and i could snap at everything. noises become so intense and annoying to me and its hard to not burst or break anything. im still not having my own home or anything, everything just pisses me off, i cant even do anything about all this crap because my health is just fucked from all this trauma and stuff. i have planned to try ayahuasca some months ago as last resort, like if this wont fix me, nothing can and i go to ctb immediately. but even this seems to not work anymore. because of some bs related to a weed deal (nearly 2 years ago). i bought some weed but smeone had to play the hero and snitch on me. im already dealing with enough stress to handle. the ayahuasca trip got canceled due to corona a few months ago and starts somewhere next year. now i have to worry about the weed thing because i might get even more trouble and my last try to fix myself also seems like to be gone now. just because of some weed, i mean alcohol is the worst drug ever, and people are being abused by the gov for some joke.. i fucking hate it. it makes no sense. no one has compassion, morals are twisted and people still think putting people in jail WILL FIX THE PROBLEM WHICH IS THE FUCKED UP LAWS..
i went everywhere, trying desperately to fix my health issues which bug me since almost 8 years now. im fed up by this fucking life. im fed up by all these fucking idiots of people who pretend to care but don't. i went from life sucks but i can bear it and people are also nice, to fuck this entire planet and its cruel, doomed people. i fucking hate people, they just suck. its always those sensitive ones, the ones who give the most love, the ones who are fragile or going trough some shit, who get targeted by shitty people. i hate this fucked up and corrupt double standard society.
sorry for this massive rant, i have absolutely no clue on how to get all this anger out in a healthy way, its just too much.. i wish i could ctb but its all just fucked up, why cant at least just the last thing i want to try work out:(..
i went everywhere, trying desperately to fix my health issues which bug me since almost 8 years now. im fed up by this fucking life. im fed up by all these fucking idiots of people who pretend to care but don't. i went from life sucks but i can bear it and people are also nice, to fuck this entire planet and its cruel, doomed people. i fucking hate people, they just suck. its always those sensitive ones, the ones who give the most love, the ones who are fragile or going trough some shit, who get targeted by shitty people. i hate this fucked up and corrupt double standard society.
sorry for this massive rant, i have absolutely no clue on how to get all this anger out in a healthy way, its just too much.. i wish i could ctb but its all just fucked up, why cant at least just the last thing i want to try work out:(..
