Venting feels empty

[cobe47]

I plan to CTB tomorrow night. I expected myself to feel some kind of clarity in my last couple days alive. I thought I'd enjoy all the beauties of this world I wasn't able to live in. I thought everything would slow down and I'd feel at peace, but instead I feel nothing. There's no feeling of release, these last days have just felt regular, just continuously remembering everything that's pushed me to this point. It really sucks. I don't know if this feeling that I'm dreaming of will come as I put the noose around my neck, or if it'll even come at all.

I know it doesn't even really matter. I know the true feeling of peace will come as I pass away from this world, but I still want some romanticised conclusive feeling as I do it. I don't want it to feel like I'm just putting a rope around my neck then passing out. Does this feeling ever come?

 

[mrtime87]

Old age maybe?

Life is supposed to get easier the older you get, but for some that's not a reality.

Hopefully you do find it tho, can't if you're still around, let us know how you dif it.

 

[FlufflesAway]

Romance is a fiction. Fluffed up and engorged for entertainment. It's not real. You will feel nothing if you die, because inanimate things do not feel. The process of death will likely be very uncomfortable and induce panic. That was my experience with asphyxiation.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you all the best and I hope you find the peace you search for.