mob
Student
- Jul 19, 2023
- 132
This is going to be a long vent.
Okay, let me just clarify this: this is not a case of longing for my ex partner, and wishing to have it back and missing her. No, she's making my life a literal hell.
For context, we live together in an apartment actually owned by her mother, and we have two cats. We've been living together for a while but I broke up with her only about two months ago. I went through 3.5 years of horrible treatment, mind games, manipulation and was, to put it simply, incredibly tired of it so I broke things off. I've had cases of her threatening to kill herself over me asking her to drive us home when she felt tired, putting the blame on me, with me sobbing and begging her on the floor on my knees to not do it and with her not caring, I've been shouted at, insulted countless times, she's been wanting to openly cheat, had outbursts and I never was even close to a priority to her. This already made me incredibly suicidal. I constantly feel suicidal, sometimes less so and most of the times more so. Lately it's been horrible.
I have an abusive family, I am twenty years old and don't earn enough money to stand on my own two feet yet. She knows this, and wants my ass out of "her" apartment asap (we share the costs 50/50), knowing as of current I have nowhere else to go.
She wants to keep one of the cats, knowing they're brothers and inseperable, knowing she can't deal with them because of her angry outbursts and history of grabbing them, yelling at them and tossing them to the side when she got mad at them. I'm constantly being stressed, she's been doing hard drugs and insulting me, yelling at me, making me feel terrible. Basically doing anything to make my life fucking awful - and it's working!
I started meeting someone new because I detached myself from her a while ago, when we were still together. Despite her longing for other people for over a year now, she's not happy with it. So she lets it out on me.
So now I've fallen back into self harm, and my suicidality has gotten much worse due to the fact that I have to fear being homeless - and to be honest, I feel like going through with my plan soon.
Okay, let me just clarify this: this is not a case of longing for my ex partner, and wishing to have it back and missing her. No, she's making my life a literal hell.
For context, we live together in an apartment actually owned by her mother, and we have two cats. We've been living together for a while but I broke up with her only about two months ago. I went through 3.5 years of horrible treatment, mind games, manipulation and was, to put it simply, incredibly tired of it so I broke things off. I've had cases of her threatening to kill herself over me asking her to drive us home when she felt tired, putting the blame on me, with me sobbing and begging her on the floor on my knees to not do it and with her not caring, I've been shouted at, insulted countless times, she's been wanting to openly cheat, had outbursts and I never was even close to a priority to her. This already made me incredibly suicidal. I constantly feel suicidal, sometimes less so and most of the times more so. Lately it's been horrible.
I have an abusive family, I am twenty years old and don't earn enough money to stand on my own two feet yet. She knows this, and wants my ass out of "her" apartment asap (we share the costs 50/50), knowing as of current I have nowhere else to go.
She wants to keep one of the cats, knowing they're brothers and inseperable, knowing she can't deal with them because of her angry outbursts and history of grabbing them, yelling at them and tossing them to the side when she got mad at them. I'm constantly being stressed, she's been doing hard drugs and insulting me, yelling at me, making me feel terrible. Basically doing anything to make my life fucking awful - and it's working!
I started meeting someone new because I detached myself from her a while ago, when we were still together. Despite her longing for other people for over a year now, she's not happy with it. So she lets it out on me.
So now I've fallen back into self harm, and my suicidality has gotten much worse due to the fact that I have to fear being homeless - and to be honest, I feel like going through with my plan soon.
