Venting Feeling suffocated

[Navi]

Dunno whats going on with me tbh. Thats the scary part. The urge to hurt myself or someone else has become so great I relapsed and began to cvt again. Even then I don't feel like I can do so freely. Something or someone has alwayas gotta stop me and it gets on my nerves. "Don't do it, you're going to make me upset." "You're stronger than this, this isnt the way." "By hurting yourself, your hurting me too." It's all bullshit I've heard millions of times before. I've started cvting more often just to spite those who tell me other wise. I don't care if they get hurt if anything thats what I want. They don't care until the right moment to "swoop in and save me" so they can feel like saints. Why should I change for people? What have they done for me besides lie and use me?

 

[undertheskin]

Yeah, I feel you l, I mostly do it when I'm distressed or empty but lately it's been more out of anger and frustration with the situation and the lack of any real help.

 

[m1v]

I understand your situation, I'm having a hard time understanding why I'm feeling that way, and why is it so intense too. You must resent those people a lot. Disobeying and just doing the opposite as they want says more about you. If I was you, I would only listen to myself, I would like to save myself and not by some controlling shitty people. Stay strong.