Feeling Scared I’ll CTB

[spent]

Two months ago I was kicked out college. It was so hard to confront my failures, and I came so close to walking away from this life. I've worked hard these past two months to grow and learn and make sense of my mistakes, and I finally started to see a path forward.

Right as I feel like I'm out of the pits, two days ago my fiancée left me. I'm back at the end of my rope. I'm so lonely, and I find myself scouring methods and considering CTB. This hasn't been very long term for me (only a few months, vice years of my life), but it's so hard to keep moving forward right now. I want to recover but I don't feel safe with myself. And when I contemplated suicide 2 months ago, I got such shocked responses that felt so cold and scripted and alienating. Like I'm crazy for just wanting peace, to walk away from it all. Any words of advice or wisdom would really help <3

 

[saddestbunny]

Ur not crazy for wanting peace

if you feel u have exhausted every option and there is nothing more to do no one can blame you for that decision

when a partner leaves you that is an extremely difficult time, it might be wise to wait until you aren't affected by a recent event like that to make your decision

 

[HoldOnToThatHope]

Ay, you are not crazy my guy. Those feelings happen but I feel like you'll push through. Just like you pushed through with your college! Breakups are really hard and my last one hit me like a bus but try to give yourself a week. These things take time to process.

I wish you all the best!

 

[Praestat_Mori]

It's understandable that you're feeling scared of CTB because it is always the very last option and I guess most people here don'r really want to ctb if there was a solution for their problems. Breakups are hurting but you can get over it. But yeah it would be such a great help from people you talk to in real life if they didn't just give stupid answers that won't help solving your urgent issues. I see you're new here. Feel free to vent and cry and say everything what you want to say. The community will listen and try to give support. And when you have a few more posts you will also have your chat function activated then you can pm with other members. I hope you can find a way to recover :-)

 

[fiftyfiftyclown]

It's understandable to feel this way, you aren't crazy, especially if your fiancee left. Give yourself time to grieve. I think people become more depressed when they feel like, or are told that they "shouldn't" be. There's nothing abnormal about feeling like the floor has gone from underneath your feet when you're heartbroken. Give yourself the same compassion that you would to someone who lost a family member, for example.
If you're scared to hurt yourself, it means a good part of you still wants to survive. Hold onto that