Venting feeling responsible for everyone elses problems

[sillymafia]

man i dont even know how to word this but sometimes i feel like im responsible for everyone elses problems like i have friends that also struggle with toughts of ctb and every time they vent i feel like i have to neglect everything in my life even my own thoughts of ctb and i have to be so emotionally present for them and when im busy or struggling myself or when i just dont know what to say anymore im ridded with intrusive toughts that if they ctb ill be the one responsible for it and i needed to be better i needed to be the therapist i wanted to be the person who solves everything i have to be the glue i have to prevent them becaude i dont wanna be alone ever again i hate this and i hate getting those thoughts when i vent and i dont get response i feel like THEY hate me that THEY use me and at the same time i have the tought that for thinking that im an abusive prick because i cant expect everyone to be emotionally present and everyone has their own problems and doesnt have the same complex as me with repliyng to vents? and i feel like i cant vent to them about this because im scared theyll think of me as a prick and this isnt even like a thing they imposed like nothing theyve said has had the implications of "if you dont reply to me ill ctb" its just my fucking piece of shit brain i dont have any idea what this complex comes from idk if its any mental illness or any trauma or anything i just hate it i hate when im doing fine and i get a vent message and my day spirals downwards with all these thoughts of "my friend is going to ctb and then ill lose everyone else and im gonna end up truanatized all over again" and all these other toughts ive had public mental breakdowns over this shit ive cried full nights over this ive tried to tell my therapist or psychiatrist and they only tell me to either stop hanging out with them wich like fucking no? i dont wanna be alone and theyre my only support system and theyre genuinely amazing. and they also tell me to "not internalize it" and the problem is i dont even know how. i dont know why. i just want to stop existing already i hate everything

 

[penguinl0v3s]

Yeah that's not good, you have to set firm boundaries with them that they can't use you as a crutch to not improve. You both have your problems, but if they aren't supporting you like you're supporting them, then that's not a healthy friendship.

You can set boundaries by being like "hey I'm going through some stressors lately and don't have the emotional bandwidth to handle your problems adequately right now, I have [this] problem."

 

[sillymafia]

Yeah that's not good, you have to set firm boundaries with them that they can't use you as a crutch to not improve. You both have your problems, but if they aren't supporting you like you're supporting them, then that's not a healthy friendship.

You can set boundaries by being like "hey I'm going through some stressors lately and don't have the emotional bandwidth to handle your problems adequately right now, I have [this] problem."

hng i guess? idk the way we have a group chat on discord and everyone has their own category for different channels we have (like my channel can be general for random stuff i say, then one for my art, one for talking about my interest, etc) and we all have our own vent channels, and a lot of us are just "used" to only use it for shouting into the void to vent out our frustrations, and it didn't use to be like this i was fine with my friends feeling bad and giving support when i could but idk what snapped inside of me to be like this..but whatever if they say anything in their vent channel it would not make many sense for me to say that, i guess ill just say it to myself i guess? idk but thnx 4 repliyng and giving advice<3