Venting Feeling impulsive, so tired, I don't wanna do this

[Mooshi]

I know this like the third vent post I've made within the last couple of days but I'm just a LOT more low then usual

oh my god, I'm feeling so impulsive. Got into an argument with moms boyfriend, now I feel like I'm dying and I just want to ctb right now. Earlier I was screaming and crying saying how much I want to go and how I want this to be over. Was very tempted to just grab my SN container and do it right then and there.

I've calmed down since then, but still reaalllyyy want to ctb. My family has abandoned me, I'm all alone. I have absolutely no one except this website.

I'm only living for my 2 pet geese cause I love them a lot and don't want to do that to them, but I don't know how much longer I can keep going. I just want this hell hole to be over with. It just keeps getting worse and worse and worse...

I really need a hug, a good.. long hug.. that would be nice

 

[WornOutLife]

I'm sorry you're going through so much! Life can really suck sometimes but there is from time to time something beautiful and positive like your pets!

In my case my dog Tomi and my dad are my only reasons for staying alive.

 

[AvaAdore]

Your mom's bf sounds like an asshole. Feel free to vent all you want.

 

[Mooshi]

I feel physically sick because I'm so damn upset and depressed. I just want an escape from this reality until I can officially ctb... besides drugs. I've tried lucid dreaming but that usually fails.. I'm in so much pain, nobody in my real life has a single clue or understands

 

[foxdie]

Sorry you're going through this. It's terrible that your family has abandoned. You are not alone here mon ami, sending hugs

 

[Ghost2211]

I'm sorry to hear you feel so unheard. Fights at home feel really bad. I'm sorry you're enduring that. It's good to hear you came for hugs instead of acting on impulse. I'll give you so many hug! Oh I also have pizza, I'll share that too

 

[Mooshi]

I'm sorry to hear you feel so unheard. Fights at home feel really bad. I'm sorry you're enduring that. It's good to hear you came for hugs instead of acting on impulse. I'll give you so many hug! Oh I also have pizza, I'll share that too ❤

Yay, I love pizza!

Sorry you're going through this. It's terrible that your family has abandoned. You are not alone here mon ami, sending hugs

 

[Stick]

Not having anyone who can here you or be there for you irl is really difficult, and you can vent all you want here. At least you have your geese to comfort you. What was your argument about?

 

[Dark Spring]

It is very sad what you are going through, I think that if you decide CTB has to be a moment where you feel ready, do not do it on impulse because you can regret on the way and that will complicate it more. I really send you many hugs, you are not alone, the whole community will support you and I hope that the decision you make is the one that will do you good. Good luck.

 

[Mooshi]

Not having anyone who can here you or be there for you irl is really difficult, and you can vent all you want here. At least you have your geese to comfort you. What was your argument about?

I don't really wanna get into it that much but, he just doesn't understand at all the kind of pain I live with through everyday...no one in my family does...

 

[Stick]

I don't really wanna get into it that much but, he just doesn't understand at all the kind of pain I live with through everyday...no one in my family does...

That's okay, you don't have to talk about something you don't want to. It's hard to empathize with something if they have never experienced it before, so please don't take it personally that they can't understand. Their brains simply can't process the idea of daily struggles.

 

[Mooshi]

That's okay, you don't have to talk about something you don't want to. It's hard to empathize with something if they have never experienced it before, so please don't take it personally that they can't understand. Their brains simply can't process the idea of daily struggles.

yeah, I know...