CleverMoniker
Member
- Oct 14, 2021
- 6
Some days, I wake up, and absolutely nothing works. Some days, I wake up, and I feel like the marrow of my bones has been replaced with something heavier. Some days, I wake up without any memory of all the reasons I have to keep going. This has been one of those days.
Try as I might, I always seem to fall back into despair. I've spent years trying to get better. I've tried therapy, which didn't change anything. I take my meds, they don't work. I exercise. I journal. I have a wonderful social circle, and I'm in love with the most amazing person. But it isn't enough. Nothing is enough. I hate myself for feeling this way. I have a nice life, no reason for my misery.
I try so hard to find meaning in my life, but it evaporates under the slightest duress. There is this overwhelming sense of futility and purposelessness in my life, despite all that is good in it. It seems that every time I take a step forward, I am dragged back two. And I can't help but wonder how long it will be until I am dragged back into the nonexistence that I emerged from.
Try as I might, I always seem to fall back into despair. I've spent years trying to get better. I've tried therapy, which didn't change anything. I take my meds, they don't work. I exercise. I journal. I have a wonderful social circle, and I'm in love with the most amazing person. But it isn't enough. Nothing is enough. I hate myself for feeling this way. I have a nice life, no reason for my misery.
I try so hard to find meaning in my life, but it evaporates under the slightest duress. There is this overwhelming sense of futility and purposelessness in my life, despite all that is good in it. It seems that every time I take a step forward, I am dragged back two. And I can't help but wonder how long it will be until I am dragged back into the nonexistence that I emerged from.