Feeling doubtful about my experience so far on SS

[Water-Lily]

I have felt dejected as of late. When I read posts of peoples experiences here being positive I feel a sense of disconnect. Perhaps it's due to my own choices or just not always having the best experiences, but I have felt sad as of late. When I first joined last year I felt a lot more positive. Now that feeling isn't as strong. I have had some negative and traumatic experiences here that has exaserbated my mental health symptoms. This isn't meant to bash the community in any way. More so I wanted to know if I was not alone. Thank you for taking your time out to read this.

 

[LiesAndLigatures]

I have also had issues with this site. Nothing traumatic, hut it feels like more of an addiction than an actual support system. I understand that situations can get tense, since everyone here is always having a bad day. Why else would they be here? But this site was only truly beneficial to me for the first week or so, until I learned and locked down my methods. After that, this place became just enough support that I haven't CTB'd yet, but not enough to make me feel good. It feels like it is just keeping me hanging in Limbo.

There are some great people, and some great conversations. But a site like this also attracts predators, perverts, and pro-lifers like flies to dung. It can also be incredibly tense communicating with people on the worst days of their life, and watching users describe their last moments as they die.

I really like what this site is supposed to do in theory: Provide information and honest communication to help people decide for themselves is suicide or recovery is the better option. Open communication can lead to a higher potential of recovery, and those that do still decide to die will have support in their final moments. Sadly, it just doesn't work well in practice. And that isn't anyone's fault, or even the fault of this site itself. But humans just corrupt everything we touch, and this site has proven to be no exception.

 

[Nexey]

Many people here are very, VERY ill. I mean, to the point that it makes the average suicidal person seem sane in comparison.

I also have my fair share of bad experiences. A lot of individuals here seem to not know of the phrase "there are two sides to every story". Case in point, the romance-focused threads. I've had one individual who's been running around and bad-mouthing me to the community and everyone just... sort of accepts their bullshit, no questions asked.

There's also a lot of unhealthy behaviors on here that goes uncriticized because people think that being a ~accepting community~ means letting people talk like sociopaths without criticism. Even the "Recovery" forum is like this.

I'm not even going to get into how often the line between being "pro-choice" and just outright encouraging suicide gets crossed here because, oh boy, it gets crossed A LOT.

I've been trying to keep my visits here minimal. I think I might just eventually delete my account, I don't know. There are nuggets of gold here and there but is it worth sticking around when 90% of the websites content is nauseating? That's for you to decide.

 

[Water-Lily]

Many people here are very, VERY ill. I mean, to the point that it makes the average suicidal person seem sane in comparison.

I also have my fair share of bad experiences. A lot of individuals here seem to not know of the phrase "there are two sides to every story". Case in point, the romance-focused threads. I've had one individual who's been running around and bad-mouthing me to the community and everyone just... sort of accepts their bullshit, no questions asked.

There's also a lot of unhealthy behaviors on here that goes uncriticized because people think that being a ~accepting community~ means letting people talk like sociopaths without criticism. Even the "Recovery" forum is like this.

I'm not even going to get into how often the line between being "pro-choice" and just outright encouraging suicide gets crossed here because, oh boy, it gets crossed A LOT.

I've been trying to keep my visits here minimal. I think I might just eventually delete my account, I don't know. There are nuggets of gold here and there but is it worth sticking around when 90% of the websites content is nauseating? That's for you to decide.

Thank you for expressing your concerns. I have dealt with what you have written as well. Harassment verbally and even sexually. I also feel that when reports are made sometimes not much is done (or simply not enough). It is unfortunate since I like what this site advocates but many things need to be worked on. It seems there is a lot of room for corruption and not much being done about it.

 

[Imaginos]

Yeah, I know the general gist of what you mean. I'm bumming around this place for the time being, but I'm sure it'll turn sour at some point. No matter where it is, it always does. And that's as much a fault of my own, as it might be anyone else's. Ultimately, my real problem comes down to the fact that this right here is basically the end of line for me. Past this, there's really nothing left. Message boards carry a heavy 'been there, done that' kind of tediousness for me and, at this point, I honestly can't stomach them anymore (although the anonymity is certainly nice), and there no other forums that bear any sort of place for me. As much as I wish it weren't the case, it's necessary to have a place to dump my thoughts in. So far, this particular site has sufficed in that regard. Hopefully it'll be a while before it all inevitably goes down the shitter for me.

In my case, I'd consider myself to be of an irreparably poor temperament and, while it's not exactly "constructive" for my mental health, I find the bleak environment of this site to be more than okay enough to make it comfortable to use. I don't have a problem with very much stuff on that front, but I'm sure something else will get under my skin at some point, whatever that might be. Ideally, I hope to avoid any melodrama with other users and be left to post what I have to say in peace. I guess I just realize that I can be a bit of an unintended asshole myself at times, or go spouting off on some of my (perhaps) inflammatory opinions on things, leading me into things/bad experiences I otherwise wished to avoid. Well, like I said, I just hope I can avoid that. I really do.

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

I suppose it would be depressing to the vast majority. I never get dragged down by the site, ignoring a few incidents here or there. I don't have anything better to do with my time, and when I do I don't browse. I like vibing on here, especially having fun in various ways. Humour is one of the last legs that I'm standing on when it comes to having positive experiences.

Probably good to interact with others, too, even if only in writing. And the obvious benefit of having an all-right-ish method ready to go is great.

 

[Makko]

Like any forum, it's a user-created experience. Considering the subject matter, it means that this is basically a virtual nuthouse where many people at the end of their lines are smooshed together into one big mess. It's not a (conventionally) healthy environment and it can never be. You're not going to get along with everyone and managing relationships is just as important here as anywhere else.

What separates this from a real nuthouse is that you can come and go as you please. Use this freedom.

 

[WornOutLife]

No website is 100% nice, especially when it's based on a user-created experience as @Makko said.

However, I find this place amazing. It works much better than therapy and psych meds. Why? Simple. MOST PEOPLE here actually "LISTEN" and have deep and broad experiences so they can provide lots of wise advice instead of sending you to a psych ward ASAP.
Still, There are some individuals which are simply prepared to ctb and do it. Of course it's sad to see them leave this world but sometimes there's nothing we can do. At least we try to help.

I've made lots of friends here. Even met with one of them IRL. It was an amazing experience and I had lots of fun, just as I thought.

SS has made my life better because I can vent, give advice, have small talks, make friends, have fun in the chat, learn a lot about suicide and depression in general, etc.

I'm glad to be here so, I disagree with all of your words but I do understand that this website is not for everybody. I'm sorry your experience here has not been as good as mine.

 

[feast or famine]

I'm not even going to get into how often the line between being "pro-choice" and just outright encouraging suicide gets crossed here because, oh boy, it gets crossed A LOT.

Agreed. There have been a few members that I know of that have left the site due to this.

 

[Susan472]

I find this forum a breath of fresh air as people are actually ALLOWED to discuss suicide methods. Most forums outright ban this and are full of people talking about how to improve your mood/being annoyingly upbeat.

There are clearly people here who aren't serious about suicide, just here for some attention (nowhere is safe from this type!) but I'm glad to see a fair few are serious about it - they need an outlet to talk about how they feel!

I want just one place in the world where I can not be around people out to boast about how 'Oh I'm not as bad as that' ie self aggrandize

On a suicide forum?????????! Give me a break!

It's like discussions on 'who looks the worst?' - "I think I look awful but I do have an army of fans on Instagram so hmmm I can't be all that bad" it's like one-upmanship is always the name of the game!

It must be human nature to always seek to create a pecking order - even among people feeling suicidal!

It's this continual jockying for position aspect of human nature that makes me frequently not want to continue!

I don't feel lesser than others when on my own but when among other people it's like relentless pressure to be something I cannot be and don't even want to be!

 

[SuicideTrooper]

I am a new member, but long time lurker (sorry!) so it may be out of place to speak.
But as sad previously, this topic is prone to attract the mischievous and the insincere. Just focus on the people that do contribute, one way or the other. However that might be hard. I am just happy to have found a place to share the thoughts of me wanting to cbt without someone else to go at me with the you-are-young-and-have-so-much-to-live-for-cliche.

 

[Callie Arcale]

I am here because I am very lonely and I am drowning in my depression. Putting my pain in writing helps me deal with the suffering and it lessens my burden just a tiny bit.

I vent a lot, but I also try to write a kind word to others when I can offer some support.

I never give advice and I don't seek any either. I stay away from inflamatory debates and I ignore users who are less than cordial. I do not let myself be provoked.

It works for me. I set my own boundaries and my own rules.

My belief is that this forum is what you make of it.

I have had some negative and traumatic experiences here that has exaserbated my mental health symptoms.

Sorry to hear this @SoloPlayer I feel a lot of compassion for you. Sadly, this happened to me as well on another forum. I know how deeply it cuts. You're not the only one who has experienced this. ((Hugs))

 

[PapaSuicide]

I have felt dejected as of late. When I read posts of peoples experiences here being positive I feel a sense of disconnect. Perhaps it's due to my own choices or just not always having the best experiences, but I have felt sad as of late. When I first joined last year I felt a lot more positive. Now that feeling isn't as strong. I have had some negative and traumatic experiences here that has exaserbated my mental health symptoms. This isn't meant to bash the community in any way. More so I wanted to know if I was not alone. Thank you for taking your time out to read this.

You may read the Recovery section only.

 

[Water-Lily]

I am here because I am very lonely and I am drowning in my depression. Putting my pain in writing helps me deal with the suffering and it lessens my burden just a tiny bit.

I vent a lot, but I also try to write a kind word to others when I can offer some support.

I never give advice and I don't seek any either. I stay away from inflamatory debates and I ignore users who are less than cordial. I do not let myself be provoked.

It works for me. I set my own boundaries and my own rules.

My belief is that this forum is what you make of it.




Sorry to hear this @SoloPlayer I feel a lot of compassion for you. Sadly, this happened to me as well on another forum. I know how deeply it cuts. You're not the only one who has experienced this. ((Hugs))

Thank you for commenting. It's good to know I am not alone in this feeling

 

[Lmd]

Personally I had a good experience. I found a couple of friends, interesting things and points of view, I can vent without disturbing anyone... But it's incredible the amount of lack of empathy and understanding of basic relationships between human beings that are here and how people feed ideas that are far from being a real help.

People going to the extreme for superficial things that can be resolved easily or attitudes that are from authentic sociopaths and here are users supporting those ideas or feeding theme saying "you don't deserve it!! you got it!! you are valid!!" People comming here because they feel lonely and just want friends and later acting surprise because their friends are dropping even more their sanity or have abusive attitudes. Even when the pro-choice debate comes there are a lot of comments saying a bunch of ideas that are from total psychopaths, and don't think of saying anything about it because then you are a pro-life that does not understand the suffering of others. It's an interesting place but very dangerous if you are vulnerable and looks like barely anyone notices it.

 

[Water-Lily]

Personally I had a good experience. I found a couple of friends, interesting things and points of view, I can vent without disturbing anyone... But it's incredible the amount of lack of empathy and understanding of basic relationships between human beings that are here and how people feed ideas that are far from being a real help.

People going to the extreme for superficial things that can be resolved easily or attitudes that are from authentic sociopaths and here are users supporting those ideas or feeding theme saying "you don't deserve it!! you got it!! you are valid!!" People comming here because they feel lonely and just want friends and later acting surprise because their friends are dropping even more their sanity or have abusive attitudes. Even when the pro-choice debate comes there are a lot of comments saying a bunch of ideas that are from total psychopaths, and don't think of saying anything about it because then you are a pro-life that does not understand the suffering of others. It's an interesting place but very dangerous if you are vulnerable and looks like barely anyone notices it.

I agree with this, especially the last part. I was admittedly very vulnerable. In many ways I still am. I think it perhaps contributed to some of my experiences here. Though it wasn't all bad, I have been hurt a lot too. As of late, I feel I cannot trust people here in the same way as I used to.