It was because I had been abused from a very young age. Sexually , physically ,emotionally and neglected . I'd also grown up in foster care. I'd be going through stalking, domestic abuse and harassment at the hands of a paedophile who'd abused me. Some of my neighbours were racist and I was extremely stressed. I didn't feel safe in my home because of my neighbours (some were sweet but there were others who weren't ) and I didn't feel safe in general because if the stalking and harassment. I was stressed , miserable and depressed . So I became quite an angry person because I felt so helpless in my own life. Therefore , I was verbally/emotionally abusive to everyone in my life (not just the officer) I lost a lot of relationships as a result. I'd also been living in severe poverty too which added to my stress. Ie, I slept on the stone cold floor with a duvet and waited months for a washing machine and fridge freezer and a bed. I think it was eight months before I actually got any curtains . I was poor, stressed and because I was hurt I hurt others. I'm not proud of it I feel terribly guilty but I just wanted to be kind that's all because I have changed now. I'm also living a better life now.
