Sometimes I feel like my partner is not dating me for who I am and because they're attracted to me & like me as a partner, but only because I was available, liked them, and we went through some hard times together. They recently told me they think we wouldn't have ended up dating if not for the circumstances; and admitted that I wasn't really their type and they wouldn't have went for me, usually. They never compliment me and whenever I ask about specifics, what they like about my personality, they don't know what to answer.
Idk how to feel. I appreciate them so much and how they've been there through really hard times and I love them very much, yet I feel so replaceable. I don't want to lose them, but is this fixable?
Seems like they are not giving you answers clearly, but also that you are discussing and analyzing things in a way they probably find uncomfortable and annoying.
Instead, you could try to do nice things and be cool, just like make a dinner, suggest you watch a funny movie, dress nicely, give them a massage. Try to take good care of yourself too by brushing your teeth, showering, exercising, and eating unprocessed fruits and vegetables and avoiding junk food. Their desire for you needs to be earned through effort, but if you are putting in the effort and it isn't working, find someone else. Make every day with them like a first date in which you are trying to impress.
People also don't always like being told told what to do, even if it's by a really large hint. He probably gets what you are saying and feels uncomfortable. If you drop the topic and start being really nice, he might start being nicer about stuff in a few weeks, not feeling anymore like he was pushed into it.
If you try for a month to be a really cool nice person who is a great partner (not saying you aren't making an effort now, but try really hard for a month), if they still seems so lukewarm, like not saying anything nice at all, you could hint again like "Do you really like me?" laughing about it, like a joke, and if their response is lukewarm, then dump them and move on and try to find someone else, unless you really have few options or don't want to be alone.
It's unlikely you are feeling this for no reason, but give it a month or so and be super nice, see if they start being nicer. No one likes nagging.
also, you said you don't want to lose them, just be super nice, treat every interaction like first date, and don't talk with them about the relationship too much because it seems like they doesn't like that based on the response. what do they like? nature? video games? cooking? find things they like and get them to have fun. the more fun they have, the more they will appreciate you most likely. also make sure to take care of yourself and try to look healthy during this time.
this person may like you and just not like talking about feelings about the relationship and what they are thinking, etc
