DepressedAngel

DepressedAngel

Life is exhausting
Dec 4, 2019
146
I feel so suicidal right now. Everything feels hazy and intangible and far away. i just want to die. I'm not even mad this time, I'm just so tired of all the pain and suffering life brings with it. Hasn't been this bad in a while...Would like to tie a noose right now...I feel so guilty and sad that the world feels I deserve to be punished and feel pain like this. I feel like everyone I love leaves me. So so tired. Just want to ctb on an impulse and be far away from all of this. However, I know tomorrow morning I will still be here, and have to fake a smile for everyone. I feel like I'm going crazy trapped in my mind. Sorry for the long rant, I just wanted to share I guess. Sorry for everything. :(
 
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TheEndof

TheEndof

It's getting dark and it's getting cold
Dec 31, 2019
146
I'm so sorry. I am feeling the same. Yet, I'll somehow making it through the night.... I wish I wouldn't. I ask myself, "for what?" Everything seems to just be getting worse. I'm sorry I don't have anything positive to say or advice to give you. Just know you're not alone.
 
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whales

whales

New Member
Jan 7, 2020
1
i recently lost my father and that put me in a downward spiral flinging me farther in depression and suicidal thoughts and i'm so sorry you have to feel like this and i want you to know you are not alone and your thoughts are valid i'm new here but i hope i can support all y'all in whatever way y'all need support
 
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R

realjunes

Warlock
Oct 1, 2019
730
I feel so suicidal right now. Everything feels hazy and intangible and far away. i just want to die. I'm not even mad this time, I'm just so tired of all the pain and suffering life brings with it. Hasn't been this bad in a while...Would like to tie a noose right now...I feel so guilty and sad that the world feels I deserve to be punished and feel pain like this. I feel like everyone I love leaves me. So so tired. Just want to ctb on an impulse and be far away from all of this. However, I know tomorrow morning I will still be here, and have to fake a smile for everyone. I feel like I'm going crazy trapped in my mind. Sorry for the long rant, I just wanted to share I guess. Sorry for everything. :(

DA,
First, it so great instead of allowing impulse to grab you. you came here, your 24/7 venting service to put your thoughts out here. As you see from responses, there are SSrs feeling just as you feel, and they followed your lead tonight and posted their thoughts. So NO apologizing for your so-called "rant" - we call it healthy venting and it was not long (look at some of posts, if you want to read long rambling meaningless jabber). But you ended with you "just wanted to share.." and you did, and we are grateful you did, because now we know we will see you tomorrow, Angel. Have a hug and some love. :hug: :heart:
 
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Moonicide

Moonicide

ᴘʜᴀꜱᴇꜱ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏᴏɴ
Nov 19, 2019
802
You never have to apologize for expressing yourself here, love. We encourage you to reach out and tell us what's going on as we are here to support and listen. I'm sorry to hear you're in so much pain and suffering right now. You have nothing to feel guilty about, and you are absolutely right, life is painful. But we are never deserving of the punishment it may bring into our lives. No one deserves to carry that weight and pain, especially for so long. I've never been good at keeping friendships or relationships, so I can't blame you for being tired. I am very much tired as well... You are not alone in this.

Sending you all of my love and support. :heart:
 
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