Venting feel like i'm getting closer to ctb date

[starv01d]

i wrote my suicide note in august, so that part's ready to go, and i just completely cleaned my entire side of the dorm room today. i dunno, man. i'm really tired. it's been getting worse for three years straight, and university is incredibly isolating. the only thing that's holding me back right now is that i don't really have a method, yknow? i can't drive, and i don't know the area very well so i'm not sure where any high places are. i'm also pretty scared of heights, so i'm not sure if i'd chicken out of jumping, yknow? i've thought about hanging myself before too, but i don't wanna die in my dorm. seems kinda rude for my roommate to get locked out because there's a body in there, right? i don't know, man. it's frustrating. i'm ready to die today. i'm calm, i have all my shit in order! but i don't have any materials or things in mind.

 

[No_0ne]

okay so, i dont know you and you dont know me and personally i dont know why you want to end your life or what is causing you enough pain to wanna end it but please dont end it now, and i dont wanna lie to you by saying itll get better when im uncertain if it will but i can try to help you find another solution if you want, because no one wants to end their life, but rather people want to end their pain. and if you need to talk to someone im ready to listen to you even tho we are complete strangers, ive went trough this myself a few months ago and i failed my attempt, so i kind of have an idea of how you feel. and personally i think it gives me a purpose to give others the support i wasnt able to have when i wanted to end my life, so if you wanna talk im here buddy

 

[D1byRam3n]

I see...im gonna miss you later then...even tho we're still strangers...but have a nice day!

 

[FuneralCry]

I find it so dreadful how it's not more straightforward to cease existing on our own terms, people who are already tired enough shouldn't have to so struggle so much to permanently leave this existence. But anyway I wish you the best, I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for.

 

[No_0ne]

okay so, i dont know you and you dont know me and personally i dont know why you want to end your life or what is causing you enough pain to wanna end it but please dont end it now, and i dont wanna lie to you by saying itll get better when im uncertain if it will but i can try to help you find another solution if you want, because no one wants to end their life, but rather people want to end their pain. and if you need to talk to someone im ready to listen to you even tho we are complete strangers, ive went trough this myself a few months ago and i failed my attempt, so i kind of have an idea of how you feel. and personally i think it gives me a purpose to give others the support i wasnt able to have when i wanted to end my life, so if you wanna talk im here buddy

( just to clarify something), i dont mean by that that you should live and its the only option but rather that you should really think of it before doing something as it is an irreversable action, however if you feel like ending your life is the only way to end your pain then the decision is up to you. tho if you need any kind of support we are there for you