Venting Fear sucks

[BBY]

I don't want to live but I'm also scared of dying. This in-between absolutely sucks.
I wanna do it next week Friday but the method doesn't feel right? The thing with partial hanging is that I can't pretend like there is a chance I'll wake up the next day like nothing happened, which is what I've been telling myself. Because if everything goes right and my mom doesn't walk into my room there is no chance. I can't tell myself that I'll maybe wake up the morning. That thought terrifies me. Yes, I desperately want to due but it's so scary.
Does anyone relate to this? What advice would you give me to kinda ease up the fear?
(I'm scared that if my body believes I will 100% die SI will kick in/i get cold feet)

 

[picklemick]

It definitely is terrifying having no easy method. If I had N or SN again I think it would be less difficult. Hanging scares me the fuck

 

[BBY]

It definitely is terrifying having no easy method. If I had N or SN again I think it would be less difficult. Hanging scares me the fuck

Same lol but I really just wanna get it over with despite the fear. I hope when the time comes I can just make due with it

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

Me I'm not scared with partial hanging but I'm just worried about not being successful because of my weight but then I live close to a lot of parks and I can easily go there and hang myself and I will be successful it's just that I wanted to do it in my flat. However, having said I haven't actually tried to do that In my flat yet so I have to try and see how it turns out and if I fail then I will try other ways. The good thing with ctb is there is so many different methods but for me the success is the most important thing. You never know unless you try because I was looking at Robbie Williams he did the door knob hanging but he was bigger than me, so I guess I will have to try it myself and if he was successful then I should be as well.

 

[picklemick]

Me I'm not scared with partial hanging but I'm just worried about not being successful because of my weight but then I live close to a lot of parks and I can easily go there and hang myself and I will be successful it's just that I wanted to do it in my flat. However, having said I haven't actually tried to do that In my flat yet so I have to try and see how it turns out and if I fail then I will try other ways. The good thing with ctb is there is so many different methods but for me the success is the most important thing. You never know unless you try because I was looking at Robbie Williams he did the door knob hanging but he was bigger than me, so I guess I will have to try it myself and if he was successful then I should be as well.

I can't speak for you. But I tried partial hanging several times. Coudld never get far enough to pass out. Head felt like it was gonna explode

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

I can't speak for you. But I tried partial hanging several times. Coudld never get far enough to pass out. Head felt like it was gonna explode

Yeah I haven't tried that myself yet so I will be definitely trying and see how it works

 

[lost_girl4423]

I can't speak for you. But I tried partial hanging several times. Coudld never get far enough to pass out. Head felt like it was gonna explode

This is what I don't want to happen. Not being able to get it right. I feel like being a person that doesn't weigh much stacks the cards against me for a partial hanging.

 

[FuneralCry]

I hate how difficult it is to finally die in this horrible world, what I would fear is a method like hanging failing and just leading to more suffering, it's so cruel how we cannot just leave this world in peace without risks and complications, I certainly envy those who have already left. Feeling trapped here really is so tiring and awful, I can imagine that many of the people who manage to go through with methods like hanging just get so determined to leave, I admire their courage.