Anyone else have a deep phobia with dread and panic at just the thought of getting a job and working? Every job I've had has been a disaster with bullying and mental/physical injuries, extreme dread and unhappiness. Society is fake and the system we are all trapped in is not something I want to be a part of. Its hard enough getting through a normal day at home with chronic pain all over my body and extreme anxiety and depression. I need money to continue existing, but I don't want to anymore. Doesn't seem worth it. I'm a complete failure and dont ever see a way of being able to change that.
Yeah so I think the problem with work is no one asks to be born yet you have to pay your way through life?? that's fucking bonkers.
I've just accepted that whilst I'm alive I'll have to work, but I cope with my shitty job by relegating work to being the least important aspect of my life. like literally everything else is more important to me than work, even just sitting on the sofa in silence staring at the walls is more important than time spent working. and just fuck work, i do the minimum i need to do to not draw attention to myself for slacking. you're not a failure because work fills you with dread, that seems like a completely rational response to me. it's not your fault society is fucked
I've just accepted that whilst I'm alive I'll have to work, but I cope with my shitty job by relegating work to being the least important aspect of my life. like literally everything else is more important to me than work, even just sitting on the sofa in silence staring at the walls is more important than time spent working. and just fuck work, i do the minimum i need to do to not draw attention to myself for slacking. you're not a failure because work fills you with dread, that seems like a completely rational response to me. it's not your fault society is fucked
100%, it's a fucked up system we are trapped in. Its depressing thinking that everyone is so accepting of this reality. "Yes everyone hates working but we have to just do it anyway. find a way to cope." That's seriously messed up. I can't convince myself that it is worth it because that's a lie.
I am a failure because I've been unemployed for almost a year and can't see myself ever working again. Can't really go on without any sort of income.
Superdeterminist
Enlightened
- Apr 5, 2020
- 1,877
My biggest problem with work personally, is interviews. There is nothing on this earth I hate more. But there are absolutely other issues as well, like those you mentioned and countless other worries. I don't know what job I'd really enjoy most of the time (if any) but there are jobs I know for sure I DON'T want. I even hate the word job. I want to work but there's not much that disgusts me more than sucking up to an employer just for an opportunity to work for them.
The problem is basically capitalism and I also think it's pretty depressing how much this is just accepted by most people.
2 people could have the same life with the same experiences, and person A will be happy and person B will be miserable just because they have different perspectives on life. BUT it will always be person B that's told their view is wrong and therefore they have a mental illness. Why is that? I think it's because person B's perspective means they are at risk of not being a productive worker, whereas person A who's all cheerful doesn't give a shit that their life is meaningless and they're part of a global money making farm will just keep pumping out work blissfully unaware that life is SHIT.
I genuinely believe that the people of the world who are happy are the ones with living with a mental illness but because these people are good workers it's in the interest of governments and billionaires that they stay happy and productive.
Not being happy about having to work to have a fucking roof over your head and feed yourself results in you being told you're mentally unwell. You don't owe the world anything for being born, the world owes you - so just please don't call yourself a failure. What country are you in? Do you have options for disability payments or something?
i am a bit drunk and ranting so sorry if i don't make sense
Yeah it's quite degrading and humiliating. Starts with spending hours writing applications, then interviews trying to sell yourself to them even though you don't want to. Then you get the job and they own and control you. They decide when you go to work, what you wear, what you can say, act etc. They decide what you're allowed to do in your free time, re: drugs, social media etc. Then it's a matter of struggling to spend over half your waking life going to work, suffering with mental and physical turmoil. All other aspects of life end up revolving around work. Time away from work is spent by trying to recover from work or preparing for going back. Its all so fake an unnatural. Some people seem to tolerate it. To those, I say they're not being honest with themselves. They've convinced themselves that it is normal and ok. Not me.
Nah that makes perfect sense. I really appreciate it. It summarises my thoughts accurately. I'm not convinced capitalism is at the root. Maybe it is, but I don't believe there is a better alternative we are aware of. I think it's far broader than capitalism. I see the human race as a whole as a toxic cancer. I like your point about perspective; why am I told there is something wrong with me? The problem is society/capitalism/the system, and because I am honest with myself about it, there's something wrong with me?
Objectively, I have not succeeded in this system (financially, socially, education, intelligence, self efficacy, physically, mentally, relationships etc.) I don't even have any passions anymore.
I'm in Australia. I've tried seeking help through every avenue I'm aware of and only met brick wall after brick wall. Its no wonder suicide is the leading cause of death for males between 18-40 in Aus.
Last edited:
Yeah, I've dealt with it my whole life. I'm just trying to force myself outside my comfort zone and get used to it. I've been a NEET for four years and I'm sick of it. So I decided to make a change.
Defenestration
I want to have the courage to defenestrate myself
- Oct 25, 2020
- 1,034
I worked for 9 years. It was the horror. A lot of anxiety before during and after work. I never want to work again. I am traumatized by the world of work. I prefer to live with very little money, to eat only once a day, to live in poverty, without heating etc ... but never to work again. And if I have more from the turn of money to survive I much prefer to kill myself than to rework it is a decision very largely reflected upon ... death seems sweet to me next to the perversion of the world of work. working only reinforced my social phobia / performance anxiety and gave me a lot of suicidal thoughts. I've been reliving a little since I stopped working ... NEVER AGAIN I don't want to work again, it traumatized me ...
Welcome fellow NEET. No but seriously, this can be an extreme problem for many people. Even more if you're disabled. There is a reason why there is studies like even with a college degree, 85% of those of us that is autistic can't get/hold down a job.
I view it down to luck. Basically, you need to know the right people, know the right stuff, do the right thing, etc to get and keep a good job. But for those of us that has been beat to almost death, we can't anymore. I think it's PTSD. It just sucks outside of family there is no help for us.
I view it down to luck. Basically, you need to know the right people, know the right stuff, do the right thing, etc to get and keep a good job. But for those of us that has been beat to almost death, we can't anymore. I think it's PTSD. It just sucks outside of family there is no help for us.
Neowise
We fly and fly but never reach our destination.
- Oct 7, 2020
- 455
Oh, you mean interviews when you are applying for a job?
Man, I really dread those. I've been to a few and failed them all, apparently no one wants to hire some low IQ idiot with no self esteem, talking skills and average marks. I'm studying now and will be done with my Master's in about 1.5 years, but I am already scared of the following job interviews. Like, it gives me anxiety only by thinking about it.
I will probably be rejected and rejected and rejected. Perhaps I will then have enough reason to finally ctb.
ClownMe
Don't Cry for Me, I'm Already Dead
- Apr 7, 2021
- 20,561
i get extremely anxious before every shift.
My last job wasn't too bad. Got picked up, dropped off back home. So I was able to avoid the busy commutes. Also I worked alone most days. I literally always worked alone, 12h shifts. So it wasn't that bad
But then I lost my job a year ago and been on benefits since October last year. (Lost job in June 2020)
Idk if I'm worried about work but after literally not leaving the whole house for a year. (Only to shop late at night) and not talking to anybody.
So now i gotta avoid the fact that I'm told I gotta leave my house and head to the job enter for a meeting. Lol.
Wtf is my life really.
Getting a new job? Can't imagine it I'm this current state.
Probably just gonna fall deeper into this dead end hole, lose much more..hopefully pushing me to grow a pair allowing me to forcibly take this sn.
But then I lost my job a year ago and been on benefits since October last year. (Lost job in June 2020)
Idk if I'm worried about work but after literally not leaving the whole house for a year. (Only to shop late at night) and not talking to anybody.
So now i gotta avoid the fact that I'm told I gotta leave my house and head to the job enter for a meeting. Lol.
Wtf is my life really.
Getting a new job? Can't imagine it I'm this current state.
Probably just gonna fall deeper into this dead end hole, lose much more..hopefully pushing me to grow a pair allowing me to forcibly take this sn.
Similar threads
Suicide Discussion
FuneralCry
