Hey. Fortunately I think there's no afterlife since in don't believe in God (I'm Atheist), but if he exists I am sure he would not punish you, according to the Christian religion he is a good and understanding God, he does know you were suffering too much in life, life is the real hell!
This is my way of thinking: where are we before we are born? We simply don't exist, so why should we go somewhere after death? Don't worry then, hell is here on earth.
Clearly I don't feel good about dying either, but for different motives.
Obviously telling you these things I don't want to impose you my way of seeing things, but only to make you think about different possibilities.
I hope I've been helpful, at least just a little bit, let me know!
Bye