A
Afterman
take me somewhere nice
- Nov 13, 2018
- 124
What are you most afraid about death? How will you overcome it?
What's stopping you?Nothing. I embrace death with open arms.
I hope you do too. Welcome to the forumI'm afraid of something going wrong. And also of the whole dying process. I'm not sure what to do. I'm hoping that maybe I can find the answers here.
What are you most afraid about death? How will you overcome it?
I can relateI think I'm more afraid of the moment right before death. That split second that might feel like an eternity where all the guilt and doubt may arise, only to dissipate faster than the thought could fully manifest wherein you realize... you don't know what you're doing.
I too wish that i could do a test run incase something went wrong. I dont want to turn into veggies.Not knowing what it's like. I wish I could do some sort of test run.
So life feels like a dream to you because of the Schizophrenia? I can understand that. I go through a lot of derealization because I think a lot about stuff and sometimes have psychotic-like thoughts but I can still second guess myself so it's not actual psychosis but then I second guess the second guesses. Like thoughts of being in the wrong universe and I switched places with another version of myself. Stuff like that.I used to fear death because i was afraid of hell, but once i realized that this is a dream, i wasnt afraid of hell anymore. So i guess schizophrenia took the fear of death away from me. I believe that i will wake up from this and live a different life. Or if this is real life, i will cease to exist and feel nothing, because then there is no god.
Im only a little bit afraid of the process of hanging, i know i will choke and stuff. And a bit afraid that i will change my mind as im hanging there. But it should only take a few seconds.
I don't know, I have received signs that this is a dream, but everybody else says I have schizophrenia. I used to have that dreamlike feeling some time ago, but not for the past few years, since I started taking antipsychotics. By the way, being in the wrong universe in much discussed as part of the mandela effect, in certain subreddits in reddit. I don't subscribe to that theory though, I believe weird things happen because we're in a dream and they are signs to make us realize it. And also, I had these signs long before I was diagnosed, they started when I was eighteen.So life feels like a dream to you because of the Schizophrenia? I can understand that. I go through a lot of derealization because I think a lot about stuff and sometimes have psychotic-like thoughts but I can still second guess myself so it's not actual psychosis but then I second guess the second guesses. Like thoughts of being in the wrong universe and I switched places with another version of myself. Stuff like that.
I've had a lot of similar occurrences with the dream stuff, like things have changed for me personally but everyone else doesn't recognize the changes. I've had long lasting depression for like 4 years and sometimes it's in the background but when it gets bad it's called "major depression with psychotic features". Not full on psychosis. I do have some form of OCD so that doesn't help with the rumination. Have you ever felt depersonalization? I've had a number of episodes but none in the last couple years. Now it's more derealization kind of feelings like feeling a bit detached from people. Usually it's caused by extreme immidiete stressors like a crowded mall or something. The worst was back in 2015 were I felt like I was in third person for a day and a half, looking down on myself. Scary stuff.I don't know, I have received signs that this is a dream, but everybody else says I have schizophrenia. I used to have that dreamlike feeling some time ago, but not for the past few years, since I started taking antipsychotics. By the way, being in the wrong universe in much discussed as part of the mandela effect, in certain subreddits in reddit. I don't subscribe to that theory though, I believe weird things happen because we're in a dream and they are signs to make us realize it. And also, I had these signs long before I was diagnosed, they started when I was eighteen.
Also, you're definitely not psychotic if you have second thoughts, intrusive thoughts can be the result of depression and anxiety...
Pasting from another thread:
The occurrences started in 2011. I had a prophetic symbolic dream about a guy I would later date and who acted badly towards me. On the night we met, I saw his angry face and I fell down, and bright colors and stars flashed, and it was very cold. The next I saw a dream that had beautiful music, and the music still played around me for a few seconds after i woke up. I also met a guy with brown eyes, I remember liking him a bit just because of his brown eyes... They were really pretty, but one day they turned blue, all the old pictures of him had blue eyes now, and they are still blue. I also had a few other dreams happen. And sometimes I read some text or book, but the next time I read it, it has changed... There are also subtle changes in the bible, for example, when I read it, it didn't mention Jesus siblings names, but now it has Jesus brother's names.
For a few months, after I smoked too much weed in 2014, I thought I was already dead, and all my interactions with other people were in my imagination... It was crazy, I took a puff and immediately everything went gray and dead. I'm not sure it that was derealization or depersonation, more likely derealization. I don't have a tendency to think of myself as a third person, except when I act on impulse, then I feel like a I have a demon inside me. :(I've had a lot of similar occurrences with the dream stuff, like things have changed for me personally but everyone else doesn't recognize the changes. I've had long lasting depression for like 4 years and sometimes it's in the background but when it gets bad it's called "major depression with psychotic features". Not full on psychosis. I do have some form of OCD so that doesn't help with the rumination. Have you ever felt depersonalization? I've had a number of episodes but none in the last couple years. Now it's more derealization kind of feelings like feeling a bit detached from people. Usually it's caused by extreme immidiete stressors like a crowded mall or something. The worst was back in 2015 were I felt like I was in third person for a day and a half, looking down on myself. Scary stuff.
Ha! Same thing happened to me that year with edibles. It was then that I realized how fragile the human mind is and especially mine in particular. Also, by third person I meant the out of body feeling of looking down on yourself. Like you're playing a videogame and controlling a character.For a few months, after I smoked too much weed in 2014, I thought I was already dead, and all my interactions with other people were in my imagination... It was crazy, I took a puff and immediately everything went gray and dead. I'm not sure it that was derealization or depersonation, more likely derealization. I don't have a tendency to think of myself as a third person, except when I act on impulse, then I feel like a I have a demon inside me. :(
Ha, I get that feeling when talking to my psychiatrist... Can't tell him I'm going to kill myself, so I pretend I'm playing in a drama. Btw, feel free to tell me more your experiences about anything surreal. What were the changes that everybody else doesn't recognize?Ha! Same thing happened to me that year with edibles. It was then that I realized how fragile the human mind is and especially mine in particular. Also, by third person I meant the out of body feeling of looking down on yourself. Like you're playing a videogame and controlling a character.
Just subtle details--like objects or events-- in my life that seem off. I might look at something and notice that it's slightly different but a loved one says it's always been like that. It doesn't help that the derealization makes everything around me feel foreign. Walking the same streets I've always walked yet they feel off. It's only when I'm actively engaged in something like music that the feeling subsides for a short while. Maybe I'm just super depressed and thinking too hard lolHa, I get that feeling when talking to my psychiatrist... Can't tell him I'm going to kill myself, so I pretend I'm playing in a drama. Btw, feel free to tell me more your experiences about anything surreal. What were the changes that everybody else doesn't recognize?
The end of December is my time.What's stopping you?