Discussion Fear of death, fear of dying and how to overcome

[CrestDragon]

I'm a coward. I got SN long ago and ever since the start of this year, I've attempted taking SN, like 4 or 5 times.
I followed Stan's guide, taking the pills first. But all the time I stopped just before drinking SN. A few times I got interrupted. There's one time SI kicked in and it felt like a stroke. I was paralyzed for good 10 mins. And the last attempt, I just stopped, thinking "Well, death is lame".
Then I realized I was a coward. Not strong enough to live, not enough to die. And meanwhile life just gets worse and worse over time. I know this is the only way that I can end the suffering, and I have to overcome it. I fear life much more than death. But right now I don't know how to. So, do you experience that fear and what is your solution to it? People who had attempted, what was their stories? What did they think in the last moment? Please tell me, I very much appreciate it.
Another question. What do you think about life after death? I has been an atheist my whole life, I don't believe in heaven, hell or incarnation in general. As existentialism goes, our mind cease to exist when we die. But recently I prayed, and I thought about that, and I was kinda curious (not really fear, but that thought does bother me a bit). So what do you think about things after death? Will we be punished or something?
Thanks a lot. I appreciate your replies

 

[Zecko]

Another question. What do you think about life after death?

I am not afraid of death, but I am afraid of dying slowly and painfully.
I do not believe in heaven and hell, but I hope for an afterlife where one is not judged or condemned

 

[a.dream.of.a.dream]

When the lights go out, that's it. Heaven and hell to me are human-made concepts as are all religions.
I don't think it's about fear of death, but the fear of giving up the only existence we have known and will ever know. So yes, definitely think it through and don't be impulsive about it. Some people believe they might be reincarnated but of course you can never know. Best to default to this is all there is, so be sure to be at peace with your decision. else try to reduce your suffering and come to terms with living best u can with what you've got.

 

[FuneralCry]

Personally I only fear this cruel, torturous existence where there is no limit as to how much agony one can feel, to me the existence of life truly is the most horrific tragedy that just causes all this harm, I'd never wish to exist no matter what. I only find comfort in death as I believe it to simply be nothingness where I cannot suffer anymore and all is forgotten about and that is what I believe death to be, it's simply the absence of everything and that is why I wish for death as I simply don't want to suffer in any way, I just wish for peace instead, existence truly has brought me nothing but pain.

 

[vanillamilkshakes]

I'm more afraid of living than dying, but I guess that everybody's mental state is different. I hope you find your peace

 

[Trav1989]

Everyone goes through it eventually.

 

[CantDoIt]

I'm in this zone. Gotta do it in maybe the next 2 or 3 years I think. So I have to find a way to make peace w it before then.
Trying to have a little fun before then and off myself "unexpectedly." Like almost catch myself by surprise but not too much.

 

[-nobodyknows-]

The first time was a bit nerve-wracking, but after that it's not something I even think twice about. As for life after death, I do believe in it. I don't know if I will be punished, if I am I probably deserve it, but hopefully I can at least be comforted beforehand.

 

[CatLove56]

My plan was always to have one of the best meals of my life it just gets super drunk and then just finally do it saying goodbye to you all here