Fear holding me back

[mattf72]

I'm conflicted, I wanna leave as soon as possible, but fear is holding me back. I have an out of state license so I can't buy a handgun, and I'm afraid of pulling the trigger. I don't know how to rig an exit bag, I'm afraid of fucking up CO poisoning, and my chronic illness makes it hard for benzos to put me to sleep and I barely sleep anyway, so the SN method scares me. I wanna go quick but I don't know what to do? Does anybody else have a hard time choosing a method? I want something painless that's guaranteed. It all just seems so out of reach. Why is it so hard to die ?

 

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I understand, I could might be able to hang myself but I'm scared I'm going to mess it up and be in pain or feel suffocating

 

[Kruger]

I'm conflicted, I wanna leave as soon as possible, but fear is holding me back. I have an out of state license so I can't buy a handgun, and I'm afraid of pulling the trigger. I don't know how to rig an exit bag, I'm afraid of fucking up CO poisoning, and my chronic illness makes it hard for benzos to put me to sleep and I barely sleep anyway, so the SN method scares me. I wanna go quick but I don't know what to do? Does anybody else have a hard time choosing a method? I want something painless that's guaranteed. It all just seems so out of reach. Why is it so hard to die ?

You are not alone, it's human nature. The most pleasant way is N. In my opinion, it's worth saving up for.

 

[ecmnesia]

i think that if you have that many doubts it's a sign you are not ready yet

research each method calmly. wander around the forum for a while. talk to other users about their and your experiences. with time you grow more confident, or maybe you will may find your self in the path of recovery, who knows.

take a deep breath. don't rush things.

wishing you the best

 

[mattf72]

Does anybody have any experience with the " nighty night" method? Cutting off the corroded artery I know would be one of the easiest quickest ways to go, I just don't wanna cut off my wind flow. I've had my corroded artery fucked with by a friend who had just got out of basic training in the marines, I passed out instantly . I just don't wanna cut off wind pipe airflow and suffocate. Part of my problem is I'm so depressed that I can't be bothered to put too much effort into my technique. If someone had a pill that would guarantee I'd die I'd pop it in a heartbeat. I tried half a gram of heroin and because of my health issues it would just stimulate me and didn't sedate me at all. I essentially just wanna go to sleep and not wake up. It's not that I'm not ready,
It's just that I don't know which method to use. But I'd like to do this like A LOT sooner than later.

thanks for your support

I understand, I could might be able to hang myself but I'm scared I'm going to mess it up and be in pain or feel suffocating

Have you
Thought about the nighty night method? I've
Had my corroded artery fucked with and I passed out pretty quick. It'll make you pass out and die within minutes. I just don't know how to do it without suffocating. There's a thread on here about it, a mass thread I just still worry about fucking it up. But if I could guaranteed cut off my corroded artery that would be the way I go. You pass out instantly and die within second. I have a noose rigged in the basement with an extension cord but it's lazily done and I feel like it would cause me to suffocate, I'm 250 pounds and if it breaks I can't go into work with bruises around my neck, and at that point someone will SURELY put me into a psych ward when they see it.