Venting Fantasizing...

[Giraffe]

just fantasizing. My go-to would probably be a firearm, if it ever came down to it. I don't have any mental health problems, and by all means and measures my life is going pretty damn good on the outside. I'm in college rn and learning to be an adult is hard. probably because im not used to responsibility. My parents are willing to pay for everything. Books, tuition, dorm, meal plan. Fuck, I could eat at the best place in town for a week straight if I wanted to. I have a naturally athletic body with an average frame, most people wouldn't think I am very strong but I'm not weak either. I know there are people in the world who would kill to be in my shoes, which makes me feels all the worse for throwing it all away. I got D's and C's, I treat my body like shit, and its just my first semester. It makes me feel kind of silly, hearing the stories of people trapped in living hell on here, while my only real problem is, "Woe is me, I got a C in my maths class and im getting fat."

Friends. Don't got any. My own damn fault, but one I can learn-- I literally stopped typing that because maybe it isnt something I can live with, and maybe i'm fine with that.

It just seems too hard at times. Now, I don't rationally think about it like that. I'm not thinking, "Oh my god, it going to be this way for the rest of my life and it will never get better." I know that it will probably get better, I know this is a new experience for me, I know this will probably pass,

but still, when im at my low points, I tell myself, "If you ever want out of this game, it's three streets away."