F
FinalDestination
Here lies my hopes and dreams
- Mar 10, 2020
- 181
Not sure how to process what's happened. I was ready to ctb today. I had prepped myself but out of no where my family found my ig which is just my art but sometimes I will overshare in the caption ( my fault really ) so I guess this time I caught the attention of my brother who alerted my family. They wanted to report me but I had to lie and say I'm not suicidal and don't plan on doing something. I had to say it was just for my art and it's not a big deal. Now I feel hesitant to do it as it might be too soon if everyone is on high alert and will possibly check on me. My biggest fear is not succeeding and being saved. Just so unsure now. I could wait til maybe Wednesday when things have calmed? It sucks because I was so ready to go now and delaying (again) feels like another failure among many but if I do it and it fails I won't have another shot. The timing of all this is so laughable I want to cry.