Nymph

Nymph

he/him
Jul 15, 2020
2,565
I keep having these false flashbacks and memories of being abused as a child mainly by my father. I even had a dream about it and I "daydream" about it quite often. I wasn't abused when I was a child though, the only thing that happened is that my parents argued a lot. I don't know why I have these flashbacks and it's very bad because they affect the way I see my father even though he would never do such a thing and he cares about me. I feel really ashamed that I could turn such a nice person into a monster inside my own head, I don't know why this is happening
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: SweetSurrender and Living_Hurts_so_Much
clocktower

clocktower

anxious
Jun 25, 2020
64
how much do you think about this? depending on your answer it could actually be OCD. i get distressing intrusive thoughts too although the topic is different and that's my OCD. i hope it eases off at least a little. :heart:
 
Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

Do what's best for you 🕯️ Sometimes I'm stressed
Jul 1, 2020
6,816
i really really hate to suggest this but it is a possibility.

is it possible that maybe he did abuse you as a child but your mind decided to not remember it and now its showing itself in forms of a flashback?

within 12hrs i had forgotten a friend of my threatened to rape me so i kept hanging out with him. until he called up my bf at the time saying i give great blowjobs, suddenly i remembered and i wish i never did. i also have another memory blocked out where my step-grandfather might have raped me but thats one memory i dont plan on figuring out, i have enough problems without that one.

just examples to say its totally possible.
 
Nymph

Nymph

he/him
Jul 15, 2020
2,565
how much do you think about this? depending on your answer it could actually be OCD. i get distressing intrusive thoughts too although the topic is different and that's my OCD. i hope it eases off at least a little. :heart:
I think about it probably every time I see him or he talks to me (irl and online) I don't see him very often beside he travels all the time and works abroad so "everytime I talk to him" isn't much. And then of course when I have the nightmares about it.
i really really hate to suggest this but it is a possibility.

is it possible that maybe he did abuse you as a child but your mind decided to not remember it and now its showing itself in forms of a flashback?

within 12hrs i had forgotten a friend of my threatened to rape me so i kept hanging out with him. until he called up my bf at the time saying i give great blowjobs, suddenly i remembered and i wish i never did. i also have another memory blocked out where my step-grandfather might have raped me but thats one memory i dont plan on figuring out, i have enough problems without that one.

just examples to say its totally possible.
Yeah I have heard about the body blocking out these memories in order to protect you but I truly don't think it's a real. Mainly because I don't have any scars and I've seen photos of myself from that time and I don't have bruises. I feel like my mom would have shared that with me if it was real. My parents fought a lot when I was small and I started talking later than most children do but they might have also been because I come from a mixed language family. I don't think there was any abuse or negativity besides arguing and yelling
 
Last edited:
clocktower

clocktower

anxious
Jun 25, 2020
64
I think about it probably every time I see him or he talks to me (irl and online) I don't see him very often beside he travels all the time and works abroad so "everytime I talk to him" isn't much. And then of course when I have the nightmares about it.
obviously i'm no psychologist but it does sound rather similar to what happens to me. OCD can come with those distressing intrusive thoughts and can even false memories. if it's extremely frequent it could be the culprit. compulsions can be entirely in your head and can be as simple as thinking about it over and over again trying to work things out.

just a possibility! i wish you peace of mind :hug:
 
Nymph

Nymph

he/him
Jul 15, 2020
2,565
obviously i'm no psychologist but it does sound rather similar to what happens to me. OCD can come with those distressing intrusive thoughts and can even false memories. if it's extremely frequent it could be the culprit. compulsions can be entirely in your head and can be as simple as thinking about it over and over again trying to work things out.

just a possibility! i wish you peace of mind :hug:
I see, I'll try to bring it up to my psychiatrist.
 
Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

Do what's best for you 🕯️ Sometimes I'm stressed
Jul 1, 2020
6,816
Yeah I have heard about the body blocking out these memories in order to protect you but I truly don't think it's a real. Mainly because I don't have any scars and I've seen photos of myself from that time and I don't have bruises. I feel like my mom would have shared that with me if it was real. My parents fought a lot when I was small and I started talking later than most children do but they might have also been because I come from a mixed language family. I don't think there was any abuse or negativity besides arguing and yelling
theres isnt always necessarily marks, i didnt have any. but if it was that bad in your flashbacks then this probably isnt the case, just a possibility.
 
E

esse_est_percipi

Enlightened
Jul 14, 2020
1,747
I keep having these false flashbacks and memories of being abused as a child mainly by my father. I even had a dream about it and I "daydream" about it quite often. I wasn't abused when I was a child though, the only thing that happened is that my parents argued a lot. I don't know why I have these flashbacks and it's very bad because they affect the way I see my father even though he would never do such a thing and he cares about me. I feel really ashamed that I could turn such a nice person into a monster inside my own head, I don't know why this is happening
I'm not a psychologist and I don't know you or your life history so this will only be speculation.

There is nothing to be ashamed about. These are psychological events which are involuntary and which have a definite cause and origin for which you are not responsible.
It could be a case of displacement, where feelings connected with one person or thing are subconsciously shifted onto another (in this case, your father).
Perhaps you had sexual fantasies about someone as a child, but repressed them due to their unacceptable nature, and now they are manifesting themselves in this way because you never properly dealt with them.
There is also the electra complex in psychoanalysis, where supposedly the daughter sees herself in competition with the mother for the affections of the father. This usually resolves itself as the girl grows up, but occasionally those early feelings become repressed and are never fully dealt with. This can lead to neurosis and the types of distressing thoughts you describe.
It could always be the case (I'm not saying it is) that someone did abuse you as a child at some point, but your mind repressed it/wiped it from your consciousness to protect you, and so you have completely forgotten about it. Now those memories are finding their way into your consciousness but for some reason have been displaced onto your father. I would think this is an unlikely explanation though.

Sorry if this sounds like half-digested psychoanalysis (which maybe it is).
 
Last edited:
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: NegativeSymptoms and Nymph
Morphosis

Morphosis

Experienced
Sep 22, 2019
260
It could be a case of displacement, where feelings connected with one person or thing are subconsciously shifted onto another (in this case, your father)
Excellent point, this happened my cousin. She wrongly accused another cousin of abusing her as a child, the poor guy was suicidal as a result and is now a raging alcoholic. She had false memories of him raping her as a 5 year old and even said she never went back to that house, when actually she moved in there for a whole year after a row with parents as a teenager. It tore the family apart. Police investigated and found nothing but inconsistencies and things that didn't add up or couldn't have happened, so they dropped the case. He wasn't even in the same country when she claimed it happened.
Too late for the guy who was accused though. People then say "no smoke without fire" and treat him as that guy who raped a child.
We all think it's entirely possible she WAS abused by somebody but repressed the memory and displaced or shifted those thoughts and feelings onto the wrong guy. The damage it caused has been irreparable.
 
  • Wow
Reactions: Nymph
so tired or manic

so tired or manic

Arcanist
Jun 12, 2020
462
knew a guy who's ocd would have him watching people around him die in a way. not that he wanted anyone to die, so it really got to him.

 
H

Hurt

Paragon
Nov 13, 2020
906
I hate THIS !! It's part of my OCD everyday: Did I do that or not?? I hate it and makes my anxiety worse
 

Similar threads

H
Replies
3
Views
187
Suicide Discussion
peaceandlove
peaceandlove
Glenferd666
Replies
17
Views
432
Suicide Discussion
Glenferd666
Glenferd666
Clowndollie
Replies
5
Views
266
Recovery
ceilng_tile
C
G
Replies
7
Views
329
Suicide Discussion
null_blank
null_blank
DefinitelyReady
Replies
8
Views
280
Suicide Discussion
ForgottenAgain
ForgottenAgain