Venting Falling at the last hurdle

[Lara Francis]

I tried so hard.I really did !
I fought for my childs return from care for 6 months and the final court date is in 5 days when he will come home but the child that left is not the same child that i see now.
Even through 2 years of acute grief reaction (from his fathers death) he was a more balanced individual whilst in my care.
I never asked for him to be taken.
They say that breavement is like being on a shipwreck - sometimes your head is underwater and you cannot breathe and at others you hang on to the wreckage until other wave drags you under.
I have constantly been reluctent to believe recovery from depresson was possible and more so now.
Through all the coping mechanism,meds,distration ,self harm and even hospitalisation ,when its got hold of you,it never likes to let go.
Thanku for letting me vent my friends x

 

[Northerngirl1965]

I tried so hard.I really did !
I fought for my childs return from care for 6 months and the final court date is in 5 days when he will come home but the child that left is not the same child that i see now.
Even through 2 years of acute grief reaction (from his fathers death) he was a more balanced individual whilst in my care.
I never asked for him to be taken.
They say that breavement is like being on a shipwreck - sometimes your head is underwater and you cannot breathe and at others you hang on to the wreckage until other wave drags you under.
I have constantly been reluctent to believe recovery from depresson was possible and more so now.
Through all the coping mechanism,meds,distration ,self harm and even hospitalisation ,when its got hold of you,it never likes to let go.
Thanku for letting me vent my friends x

:(

 

[JustAboutDone]

I don't know your story but I'm so sad you have had to live without your son and have missed out on a part of his life. I can't even start to imagine how that must feel for you. I hope that this coming week, when he comes home to you brings a fresh hope to both of your lives. I know that things cannot ever be the same as they were but I wish you the strength of spirit to somehow find new ways to build your lives together.

 

[Lara Francis]

I don't know your story but I'm so sad you have had to live without your son and have missed out on a part of his life. I can't even start to imagine how that must feel for you. I hope that this coming week, when he comes home to you brings a fresh hope to both of your lives. I know that things cannot ever be the same as they were but I wish you the strength of spirit to somehow find new ways to build your lives together.

Thanku,you are very kind.
Hugs x

 

[JustAboutDone]

Thanku,you are very kind.
Hugs x

Hope you are coping ok x

 

[TheCrow]

They say that breavement is like being on a shipwreck - sometimes your head is underwater and you cannot breathe and at others you hang on to the wreckage until other wave drags you under. [\QUOTE]

Wow, so true. I hope that time starts to heal your wounds, & that you are able find a new normal that includes happier times.

 

[Lara Francis]

Thankyou xx

 

[color_me_gone]

Sending love you way.
Wishing you the strength necessary to overcome these huge hurdles.
You are in our hearts!

 

[ctrl_alt_delete]

h u g s x x

 

[Alois22]

I tried so hard.I really did !
I fought for my childs return from care for 6 months and the final court date is in 5 days when he will come home but the child that left is not the same child that i see now.
Even through 2 years of acute grief reaction (from his fathers death) he was a more balanced individual whilst in my care.
I never asked for him to be taken.
They say that breavement is like being on a shipwreck - sometimes your head is underwater and you cannot breathe and at others you hang on to the wreckage until other wave drags you under.
I have constantly been reluctent to believe recovery from depresson was possible and more so now.
Through all the coping mechanism,meds,distration ,self harm and even hospitalisation ,when its got hold of you,it never likes to let go.
Thanku for letting me vent my friends x

I could never understand having a child taken away from you like that but it must have been horrible and on top of you grieving, im so sorry, I know how awfully sad it can be, sending love x

 

[Lara Francis]

I could never understand having a child taken away from you like that but it must have been horrible and on top of you grieving, im so sorry, I know how awfully sad it can be, sending love x

Thanku Alois,hugs to you.
The last 6 months have been hell.I have been so so close to death many times and did not believe things could not get better but am still fighting for my boy. Xx

 

[Lara Francis]

Sending love you way.
Wishing you the strength necessary to overcome these huge hurdles.
You are in our hearts!

Thanku xx

 

[Lara Francis]

h u g s x x

Thanku hugs in return xx

 

[JustAboutDone]

Thanku Alois,hugs to you.
The last 6 months have been hell.I have been so so close to death many times and did not believe things could not get better but am still fighting for my boy. Xx

Hold on in there. You are strong and you have come so far. I hope that you will be holding your son in your arms tomorrow and take him home with you.

 

[Lara Francis]

Hold on in there. You are strong and you have come so far. I hope that you will be holding your son in your arms tomorrow and take him home with you.

I am so nervous and anxious about court tomorrow.it is almost certain he will be returned but i cant know 100%
I know that my life could become full of hope and potential happiness or be devastating , which will totally destroy me.
Trying to mentally prepare myself.
I will let you know how it goes.
Love to you x

 

[JustAboutDone]

I am so nervous and anxious about court tomorrow.it is almost certain he will be returned but i cant know 100%
I know that my life could become full of hope and potential happiness or be devastating , which will totally destroy me.
Trying to mentally prepare myself.
I will let you know how it goes.
Love to you x

I truly cannot get my head round how brave you are x keep holding on, I am absolutely willing it to go well for you - and please, everyone, here is too. Just keep breathing in and out that's all you can do until tomorrow. We are with you in spirit. Xxxxxxxxx

 

[Thewhowithin69]

Lara,
I am still new here and don't know your story but I hear your heart. I have lost a child (actually more then one!) But one was a custody battle and I remember how frightened I was. I don't know how old your boy is but I know that especially if he lost his father and then lost you too that that poor boy has had an awful time of it!! I'm so glad you fought to stay around to have him again. I am sure he needs his mom in whatever way he can get her....so keep fighting for that sweet boy. He is still in there somehwere, under all the pain and I promise he needs you more then ever!!
I am so sorry you had to go through these past few years in such a mess....loosing children is absolutely the worst!! My son was murdered (first child) then my second I place for adoption because I didnt think I could be a good mom, my third was the daughter I tried to raise and when she was about 6 her father remarried and his new wife tried to use my girl to solidify her relationship and superiority. It didn't last which I knew would happen but I know how difficult it is to know your baby is out there and not in your care. It took my 2 years to jump through all the hoops and get her back fully but she also gave me the courage to keep trying/fighting! She was worth ever minute of suffering...
I am sending warm positive thoughts your way for tomorrow. I'm also sending you a hug, from one mother whose arms are empty to another! If you need to chat please message me....
You got this, mama!

 

[Lara Francis]

Lara,
I am still new here and don't know your story but I hear your heart. I have lost a child (actually more then one!) But one was a custody battle and I remember how frightened I was. I don't know how old your boy is but I know that especially if he lost his father and then lost you too that that poor boy has had an awful time of it!! I'm so glad you fought to stay around to have him again. I am sure he needs his mom in whatever way he can get her....so keep fighting for that sweet boy. He is still in there somehwere, under all the pain and I promise he needs you more then ever!!
I am so sorry you had to go through these past few years in such a mess....loosing children is absolutely the worst!! My son was murdered (first child) then my second I place for adoption because I didnt think I could be a good mom, my third was the daughter I tried to raise and when she was about 6 her father remarried and his new wife tried to use my girl to solidify her relationship and superiority. It didn't last which I knew would happen but I know how difficult it is to know your baby is out there and not in your care. It took my 2 years to jump through all the hoops and get her back fully but she also gave me the courage to keep trying/fighting! She was worth ever minute of suffering...
I am sending warm positive thoughts your way for tomorrow. I'm also sending you a hug, from one mother whose arms are empty to another! If you need to chat please message me....
You got this, mama!

Hi
Thanku for your post and i am so sorry you have gone through all those things which must have been heart breaking and soul destroying.i admire your strength and courage to keep going.
Your honesty touched me and my problems in signing on has delayed my response.( i am not normally this rude ! I am sorry ).
I hope u r ok
Lots of love xx

 

[Thewhowithin69]

Hi
Thanku for your post and i am so sorry you have gone through all those things which must have been heart breaking and soul destroying.i admire your strength and courage to keep going.
Your honesty touched me and my problems in signing on has delayed my response.( i am not normally this rude ! I am sorry ).
I hope u r ok
Lots of love xx

Nothing to apologise for, I also couldn't access this site so I understand the delay. I'm hoping the outcome from Court/custody was positive?? Think the date has come....hope your child has their mother back