Falling asleep each night

[ladybird jones drew]

Does anyone else crave the loss of consciousness that sleep brings as the next closest thing to ctb?

I'm not ready to go yet but am starting to make preparations.

I tend to get extremely depressed and suicidal in the evenings. Every night right before sleep, I get some relief the second before passing out feeling like it could be similar to what it's like the last time, or maybe I won't wake up tomorrow. I try to get to bed quickly for this reason - pursuing a loss of consciousness, a facade of temporary death.

I know depression causes low energy and desire to sleep but I want to feel like I'm dying.

 

[idontknowwhatiam]

I take a Xanax every night before bed.... Sleeping is the best part of my day and is free of anxiety and depression

 

[FuneralCry]

Yes, I always do as all I want is to be unconscious with no more pain and no more suffering, I just want some peace from this torturous, terrible existence that I just always saw as such a cruel mistake and for me every second is torture to be conscious.

I just want to never suffer again, I wish I could just erase this dreadful, deeply undesirable existence so it's like I never suffered at all, for me non-existence is just all that's positive and desirable. I suffer simply from being burdened with this existence and the fact that this existence was imposed causing all this cruelty and suffering as a result with no limit as to how much one can be tortured is just always so terrible.

 

[bobsacamano]

Does anyone else crave the loss of consciousness that sleep brings as the next closest thing to ctb?

I'm not ready to go yet but am starting to make preparations.

I tend to get extremely depressed and suicidal in the evenings. Every night right before sleep, I get some relief the second before passing out feeling like it could be similar to what it's like the last time, or maybe I won't wake up tomorrow. I try to get to bed quickly for this reason - pursuing a loss of consciousness, a facade of temporary death.

I know depression causes low energy and desire to sleep but I want to feel like I'm dying.

Sleep for me is as good as it gets. Unfortunately and naturally I am an incurable insomniac. It's in the sleepless haze of a 2:00 fog that I decided to create an account here. Many are the night I go to sleep and pray that I won't wake up. Best wishes to you.