needthebus
Secretly Extremely Sucidal? Me? What? That's nuts!
- Apr 29, 2024
- 544
Today just sucks. Everything is so awful.
There are people who are homeless. I am not that, I am not there yet, but everything in my life is crumbling completely.
It's hard because I compare myself to others, and I don't want to. I used to be so intelligent, and I was really fucked over by someone evil and cruel. I was victimized by a sexual saddist, and it left me broken and unable to date or have sex in any sort of normal way.
I am a zombie. I exist, but not really, I just walk around, do things, but my life is meaningless, without love. The resulting depression and medical "help" destroyed me financially. My body was even more damaged by poverty and financial exploitation by doctors.
I really, really desperately hope I am dead within 2 years. I am terrified. And I am also angry. I feel so fucking exploited. I feel like I worked so hard in life and it was stolen from me. I am completely and utterly victimized, and that's all I'll ever be. I worked and worked and tried and strived, and now I'm just some ghost of a victim.
And people still treat me like shit and demean me and are cruel. And now, due to so much sadness, I can barely function, and society wants to hurt and exploit me even more.
No one believes me too. The person who did it to me started sleeping with some of my friends, saying I was crazy. And what he did to me did make me crazy, so it was partly true, the crazy part, but he implied he wasn't violent to me, never had any sort of relationship with me.
I am running out of money, dying on the inside, I just want to fade away, that's all I want to do. I did go to police about what happened but nothing was ever done. There was no proof, he did it while I was wasted, I didn't go to the police right away. I'm just no one and nothing and no one believes me.
I really think this world is just pure fucking evil. The genocide in Gaza, transphobia, people being racist, people letting homeless people suffer in the cold, it's just all so fucking awful and evil. Everyone is just looking to exploit everyone. The world is pretty sometimes and occasionally fun, but it's just a trap to entice people into wanting this reality that is all fucking pain.
One day on SaSu, when I am close to committing suicide, I will name the person who did this to me and write out the entire thing, at least I hope to. When I have my method and am about to do it. Oh, I can only hope... I can only hope I manage to die in a year or two. I wanted to do a few more things before dying, start a business perhaps, or just make the world a bit better by trying a thing or two, but it's stupid, it's just more desire, more of wanting this and that, and whenever I want anything I suffer. I just need to wrap things up, fall into the abyss, and be done.
Everyone has been mean to me my entire life, lying to me, being cruel to me. I'm tired of it. I can't take it. I'm done.
I hope on the day I do it, I post in SaSu, and not only name him but name me too, say who I am without fear, knowing that I will die and they will not have time to stop me.
There are people who are homeless. I am not that, I am not there yet, but everything in my life is crumbling completely.
It's hard because I compare myself to others, and I don't want to. I used to be so intelligent, and I was really fucked over by someone evil and cruel. I was victimized by a sexual saddist, and it left me broken and unable to date or have sex in any sort of normal way.
I am a zombie. I exist, but not really, I just walk around, do things, but my life is meaningless, without love. The resulting depression and medical "help" destroyed me financially. My body was even more damaged by poverty and financial exploitation by doctors.
I really, really desperately hope I am dead within 2 years. I am terrified. And I am also angry. I feel so fucking exploited. I feel like I worked so hard in life and it was stolen from me. I am completely and utterly victimized, and that's all I'll ever be. I worked and worked and tried and strived, and now I'm just some ghost of a victim.
And people still treat me like shit and demean me and are cruel. And now, due to so much sadness, I can barely function, and society wants to hurt and exploit me even more.
No one believes me too. The person who did it to me started sleeping with some of my friends, saying I was crazy. And what he did to me did make me crazy, so it was partly true, the crazy part, but he implied he wasn't violent to me, never had any sort of relationship with me.
I am running out of money, dying on the inside, I just want to fade away, that's all I want to do. I did go to police about what happened but nothing was ever done. There was no proof, he did it while I was wasted, I didn't go to the police right away. I'm just no one and nothing and no one believes me.
I really think this world is just pure fucking evil. The genocide in Gaza, transphobia, people being racist, people letting homeless people suffer in the cold, it's just all so fucking awful and evil. Everyone is just looking to exploit everyone. The world is pretty sometimes and occasionally fun, but it's just a trap to entice people into wanting this reality that is all fucking pain.
One day on SaSu, when I am close to committing suicide, I will name the person who did this to me and write out the entire thing, at least I hope to. When I have my method and am about to do it. Oh, I can only hope... I can only hope I manage to die in a year or two. I wanted to do a few more things before dying, start a business perhaps, or just make the world a bit better by trying a thing or two, but it's stupid, it's just more desire, more of wanting this and that, and whenever I want anything I suffer. I just need to wrap things up, fall into the abyss, and be done.
Everyone has been mean to me my entire life, lying to me, being cruel to me. I'm tired of it. I can't take it. I'm done.
I hope on the day I do it, I post in SaSu, and not only name him but name me too, say who I am without fear, knowing that I will die and they will not have time to stop me.
