"Fake it until you make it"

[Grimpoteuthis]

This is the greatest lie ever told and I disdain anyone who promotes it. Mental condition does not automatically align itself with the positive actions an individual coerces himself to take as an effort to "become better". Faking the so-called positive attitude/lifestyle through brute force only eliminates exterior symptoms and leads to the illusion of a healed patient, who is nothing but a perfect phantom the individual has created to guard his inner vulnerability from the social norm that rewards behaviors that contribute to collective stability of a functioning community, and punishes behaviors that are considered unconventional through alienation. We "fake it" only to be re-accepted into the community that used to label us as unsafe factors yet upon which we rely to survive, but we will never "make it" if we are conscious of the ingenious motivation and the exasperating effort behind the healed figure we pretend to be. A lie will never transform into truth no matter how many times it is repeated.

Posting this because I just saw my father posting on the family group chat that "OP is doing very well mentally because OP (gives a list of things normal people do)". He needs to ensure that my aging grandparents won't be too worried of me, but I know that he believes this as well. But no, I am not doing better. I am only going downhill inside but I learned to pretend better so at least I can rot on my own without bothering anyone or being bothered.

 

[qsocdu]

I hate that phrase because it reflects the world we live in. Fakers get everything. It's a world built on lies

 

[_AllCatsAreGrey_]

I completely agree! I hate this phrase so much. As a person that came to know they're autistic later in life, I think I took this literally earlier in life and it was applied to masking. You're so right, we never make it. We just get exhausted pretending along the way.

 

[Jeav]

No wonder

Studies claim that :
1 in 5 CEO, business leaders may have psychopathic tendencies

 

[sugarb]

This is the greatest lie ever told and I disdain anyone who promotes it. Mental condition does not automatically align itself with the positive actions an individual coerces himself to take as an effort to "become better". Faking the so-called positive attitude/lifestyle through brute force only eliminates exterior symptoms and leads to the illusion of a healed patient, who is nothing but a perfect phantom the individual has created to guard his inner vulnerability from the social norm that rewards behaviors that contribute to collective stability of a functioning community, and punishes behaviors that are considered unconventional through alienation. We "fake it" only to be re-accepted into the community that used to label us as unsafe factors yet upon which we rely to survive, but we will never "make it" if we are conscious of the ingenious motivation and the exasperating effort behind the healed figure we pretend to be. A lie will never transform into truth no matter how many times it is repeated.

Posting this because I just saw my father posting on the family group chat that "OP is doing very well mentally because OP (gives a list of things normal people do)". He needs to ensure that my aging grandparents won't be too worried of me, but I know that he believes this as well. But no, I am not doing better. I am only going downhill inside but I learned to pretend better so at least I can rot on my own without bothering anyone or being bothered.

It's definitely a lie but from the perspective of someone who's pretty dead set on "making it" to the bus stop it's a very useful one

 

[lemonbunny]

it sucks to get rewarded for faking and shamed when you can't do it anymore

 

[eden101]

Yes. Mental illness is a sickness like a physical one.

it sucks to get rewarded for faking and shamed when you can't do it anymore

That's an interesting way to put it. Because doesn't "fake it till you make it" sound like "mask your symptoms and appear functional" it's a dangerous piece of advice.

 

[sugarb]

That's an interesting way to put it. Because doesn't "fake it till you make it" sound like "mask your symptoms and appear functional" it's a dangerous piece of advice.

Agreed. I think "fake it till you make it" was probably never meant to be advice for people with severe mental issues in the first place and anyone saying that to vulnerable people is very out of touch and irresponsible.

Because in most cases, it has some actual practicality- like, say you get a job and pretend you're not anxious and totally composed until you get enough experience to actually be comfortable in your position. That'd be faking it till you make it in a healthy way. Or picking up habits a physically fit person would have and stick with them until you're actually healthier.

It just falls apart in extreme cases because you're not supposed to just fake it, you're supposed to fake it until you make it, which is a whole other thing.

 

[Grimpoteuthis]

Agreed. I think "fake it till you make it" was probably never meant to be advice for people with severe mental issues in the first place and anyone saying that to vulnerable people is very out of touch and irresponsible.

Because in most cases, it has some actual practicality- like, say you get a job and pretend you're not anxious and totally composed until you get enough experience to actually be comfortable in your position. That'd be faking it till you make it in a healthy way. Or picking up habits a physically fit person would have and stick with them until you're actually healthier.

It just falls apart in extreme cases because you're not supposed to just fake it, you're supposed to fake it until you make it, which is a whole other thing.

That is fair and I agree that it is practical sometimes, but I see this strategy more as a "brute force attack" where once the circumstance changes, one will not be able to adapt and relapse to his former state because a new set of rules needs to be learned before masking. People who don't need to fake it to make it do not need to detect patterns from normal behaviors before performing certain actions and thus are much more flexible.